5 Reasons to Go The Extra Mile and Live Your Best Life

87681979For many years I aimed to go the extra mile in terms for customers and was extremely successful.

Setting a vision and outcomes in a working environment, it was pretty easy to set stretching and challenging objectives, not only to meet customer expectations, but to exceed them.

As I matured as a leader I began to realise that the jewels in my crown were my team and without them I simply wasn’t able to achieve what I wanted. I also realised that I needed to go the extra mile for them also, and sometimes unfortunately the ways I wanted to reward and motivate them weren’t always in my power. But what I could do was encourage, engage and give them as much as I could to help them do their job really well.

I would like to put my hands up and say I have always gone the extra mile for my family, both my children and my siblings. It hasn’t always been the case though. Don’t get me wrong, we are a tight knit family and care about each other a lot. I tend to go the extra mile on birthdays, Christmases and holidays. Family occasions feature highly. But do I go the extra mile all of the time?  Probably not, but I am working on it.   (Don’t we so often take our nearest and most loved people for granted?)

In my business I am determined to go the extra mile for my connections, customers and clients, and sometimes it can be a challenge to find out what will make people feel that they have received a brilliant service. Years ago, one of my stock answers would be to of course “Ask them”. That’s a good tactic, although we can get stuck in asking the wrong questions.

So for example asking what people want as an outcome is good: Better than trying to tell them what they need for sure. The really effective question though is along the lines of “What would make you believe that you had received the best and most excellent service from my company?”

Short of asking people, the next strategy is to observe. Try different things and see what delights people. Gauge reaction and be innovative.  Just seeing how people respond is valuable information!

I believe adopting the philosophy of going the extra mile is a great way of living, and there are for me five main reasons why everyone should consider living their lives by going the extra mile.

Going the Extra Mile:

  1. Makes you think hard about your contribution and the difference you are making. Our world is a matrix of giving and receiving. By going the extra mile you are bringing a sense of into sharp focus.
  2. Surprises and delights people, and it’s always good to be a positive influence
  3. Increases your own energy. Energy breeds energy and the additional effort it takes to go the extra mile, helps you to increase your energy, output and commitment
  4. Attracts great energy back to you. What you give out, you get back. It was Newton who said “for every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction”
  5. Sets a great benchmark for yourself and others to aspire to.
 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Take Another Look : How Your Perception Is Changing Your World

 

78491057I’ve wanted to write an article on perception for a long time, and for a while, until today, the words haven’t come.

Today I had a big personal breakthrough when I was able to see something I had long viewed in a certain way, differently. I feel differently and I know that my experience, has, and will change. The reason we need to understand the way our perception shapes our world is because if we want to experience something different, the change must come from within.

Some time ago a friend of mine, in mid-life, lost her job. She didn’t even see it coming. One day she walked into her workplace and was told, along with the rest of the workforce, that she no longer had a job. After a few weeks she decided to set up a business on her own. After only 18 months she gave up and went to work for a local business in a role which didn’t really reflect her expertise or indeed her valuable experience. A year into the job she came to me for some help.

Describing how she felt, she said she had “lost her mojo”. After some unravelling we got back to the day she lost her job. On the day of the “bombshell”, she took herself off for a walk, numb and stunned, her thoughts went along the lines of “Why me?” “What has gone wrong?” “How am I going to manage?”

Knowing how her family relied on her salary she felt like a failure and even up to the day we discussed the situation, she wondered why this catastrophic change in her life had happened.

She had attempted to pick herself up, starting the new business and then latterly with the new job, but she had lost something valuable inside and her and faith had been severely shattered.

During the conversation, I suggested that some people after the initial shock may have thought “Yippee” I can now explore something else, I can use my unique talents I have to do something great with my life”. She looked at me as if I had gone mad, and I could see she thought I was probably out of touch with reality.

But that is the real problem. We think the reality we see and how we interpret it, must be right. But in any given situation, we can look again and interpret it in a different way.

I realised many years ago that the world I was seeing was a reflection of my perceptions. When I was a young single mother I felt unsupported and alone. I had lots of friends and family, but I always perceived them to have busy lives and asking them for help was a big deal for me, so I rarely did it.

Unwittingly, I was fulfilling my perception of: “I am pretty much on my own, and if I need anything, I had better do it myself, because others are too busy to help”. After many months of feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and alone; a back problem forced me to ask for help.

At first it was difficult and uncomfortable; I felt I was imposing my own problems on others. But after a while, something magic happened. I began to see that people around me, cared about me, and wanted to help.

When I asked people for support they overdid the support they gave me. I saw that when people were helping me, they felt connected and were happier helping me than watching me struggle alone.

I finally realised with a great big light bulb moment, that my outworn perception had unwittingly kept others at a distance and not only was my perception wrong, but my need to be right kept my perception in place even when I desperately needed to see things in another way.

When my friend and I started talking about the choices we have and how we can see things in a different way, she realised losing the job was not a personal indictment on her. She eventually also saw she had been holding on to a faulty perception of the job loss and this faulty perception was affecting her life every day.

She decided to look at the situation differently and came to the conclusion it had nothing to do with her, it was simply a change in her life, albeit an unexpected one. I recently received an email from her. She told me that she was becoming quite an expert at switching her perceptions and most importantly, she had her mojo back!

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Are You Awake To Change?

ChangeChange has been quite a topic for me this week, both from a personal point of view and from some of my clients.

Change models are helpful and I have found with clients that any approach to change and therefore the preferred model, depends pretty much on the situation and the preference of the person wanting to instigate the change.

Standard models, like Kotter’s “8-Step Process for Leading Change” are effective and helpful, and for some are enough.  I always find it helpful to illustrate Lewins “Force Field Theory of Change” when looking at resistance to change, although even setting out how behaviours and resistance will manifest, doesn’t usually prepare people for the actual experience of these phenomena when the process is underway.

Levels of change are best described in Bandler and Grinder’s which is for me one of the most helpful models, because it clearly describes the hierarchy of change.

There are many more models out there, so why is it then when change is happening, even when teams are aware of the Kubler-Ross change curve, does it often become so distasteful, stressful frightening and difficult?  Is it simply because the experience of actually going through change is much messier than the models lead us to believe it will be?

Through years of experience of leading change and helping to lead change I have found some common factors which help to make the process of change much easier, less painful and less problematical.    These factors I call AWAKE.  I am not a big fan of acronyms but without any effort the five factors fit, so without apology I present them in this way, because you never know, thinking of AWAKE might help you to remember these factors the next time you are involved in a change, whether personal or work based.

The five factors are all about the energy which is brought to the change.  It doesn’t matter which model is used, if the underlying energy isn’t right then the change will be more difficult; take longer and be riskier.  I have broken the factors down as follows.

Attention

We

Attitude

Kindness

Energy

 

Attention

Any change needs to have attention.  This is about the concentrated focus of the mind and the mind-set either in your personal life or your organisation.  To achieve real successful change, the change must become the most important thing in the universe during the time it takes to initiate, implement and achieve the outcomes. It is akin to Kotter’s first step about creating urgency, but it is more than that.  If you have several programmes, projects or changes going on at once, then the order of attention, priority and importance must be determined. If too much is going on, attention is diluted, the change is slower, and the impetus is lost.

We

It doesn’t matter if your change affects a team, an organisation, your family, or it is an individual change, like giving up smoking or moving house.  As an individual you have different aspects to your personality just as much as there are different personalities in a collective change.  For example if you want to give something up, then there are parts of your personality which don’t want to.  If you want to change something in the organisation then there will be people who don’t want to.  There will also be aspects of you, which do want the change, and people in the team who embrace change readily.  The difficulties arise when opposing parts of yourself or people in the team become pitted against each other, even if this is in the short term, and this is when conflict arises.

If you recognise that when change occurs, all parts of the organisation (or all parts of you), need to be understood and listened to:  Then conflict is understood and dealt with, and any potential for hidden or unconscious sabotage or resistance is lessened.  Coming from the power of “We” takes a certain level of maturity because it needs the understanding that “we are all in it together”, “the sum parts make a whole”, and “everyone counts”.  The stock phrase for this dynamic is that “we are changing, and we all count”.

Attitude

I would like to bet that instigators of change believe they have the right attitude because they fervently believe that they want the change, they know the change is for the better, it can benefit all.  They have a vision and they understand deeply the benefits.  Sometimes though, during the change, conscious or unconscious doubt becomes apparent. The doubt is not about whether the change is needed, it is about whether the change can actually be made.   For individuals they may fear their own levels of resilience, or for leaders they may doubt the ability of some of their team to make it.  The attitude to change must be one of “Can do”.  It sounds simple I know, but that resistance if not uncovered right from the outset can slow down and sabotage change unwittingly.

Kindness

If any of you have gone through difficult or long-winded change which has proved stressful, combatant, or fraught with problems, then along the way you may have experienced the tensions and conflicts brought out the worst in everyone involved.  If at the outset, you make one of the conditions of change to be kind to one another (or kind to yourself); the energy of the conflict, resistance or problem simply has to change.  It might sound corny, but if you are talking about a particular problematic aspect or dealing with fears or resistance, to start off the interchange with “How can we remain kind in this situation?” just changes the dynamic.

Energy

The AWAKE model is all about the often unspoken energy which is brought to the process of change.  To acknowledge the process of change as energy can be empowering, as it raises awareness.  There are two further aspects of energy to consider:

Firstly, Newton’s 3rd Law, “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions” and

Secondly, Ghandi’s often misquoted declaration; “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him”

If you are awake to change you will have a head start

What these mean in practice is: If you voice your frustration, or have low expectations about yourself or the people involved in the change then that becomes your experience.    If you complain about others, then you are slowing down the change, because the energy you are emitting becomes part of the change process.  Even though you might think others don’t notice, on the level of energy they know something isn’t quite right, and they will react accordingly.

So there you have it:  Are you AWAKE when making change?

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

End The Struggle – 5 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Intuition

If you’ve ever been confused, stuck or overwhelmed, when your life has presented you with a critical decision, then you are not alone.  Many of my clients come to me because they are grappling with major decisions.One of the reasons we get stuck is because we look from different perspectives and this can result in a range of options with no real insight into what is best for us or others.Much of my work is based on Carl Jung’s personality types, deriving from which the Myers Briggs Personality Type (MBTI) tool was developed.   Although I use MBTI, it is Carl Jung’s enlightened understanding about how our personality works, which enables me to help my clients to make better choices, as they align with their heart and mind.Part of the decision making process is gathering information.  In simple terms, you usually gather information in two ways:

The first and most common way is through your senses.  What you see, hear, touch, smell and taste. Predominately you are gathering information through the first three, although sometimes all five senses, depending on the situation.  If you prefer gathering information through your senses, then you tend to like evidence, facts, and data.  You are often described as a “down to earth” person and you like to analyse the information you are receiving to inform your decision making.

The second way you may gather information is through your intuition.  Your intuition can work in two ways, it takes the information it sees through the senses, and forms patterns and possibilities, which can be creative and involves using your imagination.  The second way is to tap into insights, ideas and guidance which can be described as coming from your unconscious part of your mind. When your intuition is tapping into your unconscious it can give you illogical insights and wise guidance. This can sometimes be known as your “gut instincts” or “higher self”, or “collective unconscious”.

We all have the ability to tap into both types of information, but as Jung and the Myers Briggs team have demonstrated we have a preference for one or the other.  Sometimes this can be a very strong preference and sometimes it can be border line.

You also have a preference about how you make decisions. The two decision making functions are “thinking” and “feeling”.  Some of us prefer to make decisions based on our feelings about the information, and others through our logical conclusions about the information.   Often when we are confused, we are alternating between the information we receive through our senses, and that which we are receiving through our intuition.  For example, “I have a strong gut instinct to take that job, but the salary is less and there seems to be no promotion prospects”.

For me the best decisions are made when you feel good about the decision, and the logic about the information which informs your decision aligns with your beliefs.  Part of the formula for doing that is to get in touch with your intuition and trust it.  If you have a strong preference for sensing, then this can be uncomfortable, but do-able.  Over the years, I have found the following 5 ways help people get in touch with their intuition.

There are many definitions of some of the descriptors used, the following describes the context and meaning in the way I use them, rather than referring to any universal definition.

Meditation is giving you a holiday from the clamour of your daily thoughts and stream of information.  It is finding the gap between your thoughts and staying there.  Silent and observant, you can watch your thoughts without attaching yourself to them.  It is allowing your intuition or your unconscious wisdom, space.  Through mediation, your intuition may come to you in different ways, either through thoughts, ideas, or an encounter with someone or something.   Use meditation to be open to whatever comes up.

Contemplation is also about clearing your mind, but for me it is more purposeful.  You may have a problem or a situation where you’re not sure what to do, or don’t know what the solution is.  Ask clearly what the problem is, and then simply observe the problem from different angles and instead of actively thinking about the information, let thoughts come up.  Often, you can be inspired with a solution, although sometimes the emerging solution isn’t immediate.  It can pop up at any time.

Writing is extremely powerful if you are disturbed or upset, even if you aren’t sure why.  Writing down how you are feeling, why you are feeling that way and then ask your intuition how you can look at the situation differently.  Then write down different ideas, until you find a perspective which feels good and you can believe.   Writing is about telling the story of what is going on in your mind and giving you an opportunity to see it from a better perspective.  The true trick is to ask your intuition how to perceive the situation so that you can be at peace with it.   It’s not about repressing feelings though. Feelings are a great emotional guidance system, and it’s important to let them come up and help to inform the writing process.

Listen to Music – You are better aligned with your intuition or higher self when you are feeling good.  You know you are feeling good when you are in touch with appreciation, gratitude, love and laughter.  Listening to music you love can quickly help you get into those places which feel so good.  A daily dose of music you love can definitely align you with your intuition.

Going outside -  Whether it’s fresh winter air or warm summer sunshine, getting away from the clutter of a busy workplace, or a demanding home can clear your mind and give you a space which you might not otherwise give yourself.  Staying in the present moment and clearing your mind while you are outside is a must.  It’s no good getting out into the open and taking all your clamorous thoughts with you.

Are you a sensor or an intuitive? Or do you flex between the two?  What do you think?  If you’d like to undertake the MBTI type tool and find out about your preferences, contact me at

If you liked the information in this article, why no sign up for my weekly blog and claim your free EBook “The Magic of Seven” 7 x 7 ways to be inspirational at work!

 

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

The Single Daily Choice which will Change Your Life for Good

Yesterday,  I had some news which made me want to cry with frustration. This problem had come up a couple of times before, and I had, with much annoyance, sorted it out, and here it was again.   I won’t bore you with the problem because problems are two a penny, and the real issue is what I did about it.I had always thought of myself as “A cup half full” person until about 15 years ago.  I had an ability to identify and solve problems, and therefore make (what I thought) was a positive contribution to whichever world or organisation I was impacting upon at the time.It was in a session with a coach I had hired to help me make a particular transition in my life who brought that self-concept sharply into question.  We had been talking about a situation in my life where I was explaining what was wrong and how I thought I had done all I could to make changes, when she looked me straight in the eye and said “You have a slightly negative outlook on the world don’t you think?”

The silence must have only lasted about 30 seconds but it felt like about an hour while I contemplated with horror what she had just said.  In one fell swoop she uncovered one of the biggest blind spots in my life.

In the moments that followed, I didn’t even try to deny it, the only words I could muster were “Do you really think so?”  And she nodded.  I felt like I had been punched.  The horror I think was more acute, because I actually woke up in that moment and realised it was true.

The pattern of my thinking and my self-concept had been mismatched for the majority of my working life up until that point and I’d had no idea until that moment.  It was a defining moment for me because it made me look within, and thus the journey to uncover the largely unconscious and negative thoughts and beliefs in my mind began.

For the next few years I worked at becoming conscious of my beliefs and thought patterns and it was amazing how judgmental I had been, not only of myself but others.  During the journey, I uncovered many patterns I had acquired.

For me ingrained beliefs and patterns of thinking are like well learned habits, which like tying shoelaces or riding a bike, you have learned so well they’ve become unconscious.  When you try to go back to identify the sequence of the beliefs and thoughts it takes some effort to uncover them, and then some real practice to change the way you’ve habitually become used to believing and thinking.

The journey has been painful and liberating and in the end totally empowering.  I would love to say that I no longer participate in negative thinking but it’s a lifetime’s work I think for me.  I now have strategies in place which can almost instantaneously change my thinking for the better, and some of my limiting beliefs at the same time.

The barometer which measures my progress is my feelings.  When I am feeling positive and peaceful emotions, I know my thinking is aligned with who I really am at my core. puts forward the idea that your emotions are a result of your intentions, unconscious or not.

So when I started feeling anxious and fearful as a result of the problem.  I realised that my intention in that moment was flawed.  I was about to let my beliefs ideas and thoughts turn towards a victim mentality.  “Why did this happen to me again?, it must be karma”   Helplessness, “What if I can’t solve it?” When you see this pattern in black and white, it seems quite silly.  But much of our suffering in life is because of the habitual default to our mostly unconscious negative fears, beliefs and thoughts about us.

You may well have heard the quote “Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional,” By the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami.  If you put this with the quote by the Greek playwright, Aeschylus, “Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” In those two quotes you have the single choice, which can, if practised habitually, transform your life.

It is making the choice to be happy, no matter what.

So this is what I did about the problem yesterday.

  1. When I began to feel anxious and worried, I stopped thinking about the problem and let my feelings come up.  It took a few moments for the feelings to pass through.
  2. I contemplated for a few minutes, and then decided to look at the problem through a different lens.  I realised I had solved the problem twice before and I could very well do it again.  The fact I had this problem again, didn’t make me a bad person. In fact, the problem was a real gift because it allowed me to release some of the unconscious worry and further reinforce liberating beliefs, ideas and thoughts which I knew to be true.
  3. Despite the problem, I decided to be happy, and I began to think about and feel grateful for the good things and people in my life.  I thought about how blessed I was because I could actually choose to think empowering, and peaceful thoughts, which then translated into positive feelings.

I have this now down to a fine art.  The whole process took about 5 minutes in all.  All those years ago, it could have taken me 3 days to feel positive again after encountering such a problem.  Progress indeed.

If you’d like to read more about some of my methods I have learned over the years, sign up for my weekly blog and download your free e-book:  The 6 Secrets of Great Emotional Intelligence”

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

7 Common Qualities of Inspirational People, Leaders Should Know

 Leaders can learn from inspirational people

I’d read about Philippe Petit some years ago, and while being amazed at his death defying tightrope walk between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre in New York City, I was either was too young, too busy, in the wrong country  or too focussed on other things to truly absorb his story.  That changed last weekend when I happened upon an old documentary in which Philippe was recounting his experience on that day,  7th August 1974, and the events leading up to it.

I realise as I write this, I am almost 40 years behind, but I also know there is a right time for everything, and I needed this story now, because it clicked into place a piece of jigsaw I was toying with, but not quite knowing where it fit.

I have always admired people who have made a significant impact, and have been inspirational people.  People who particularly inspire me are Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Ghandi, Viktor Frankl, Sir Winston Churchill, Carl Jung, Abraham Lincoln , and latterly Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, and Steve Jobs,  to name but a few. I am now adding Philippe Petit to my list.

These inspirational people on my list are famous for very different achievements. Some didn’t particularly set out to be “world” leaders in their field.  But to me and many others of course, they are leaders, because by virtue of their achievements they have led a way, which has helped many people, and so been inspirational. Their stories and work have certainly changed my world.

Simon Sinek in his brilliant book “Start with Why” concludes the reason some inspirational people and their dreams (like Jobs and King for example) are globally successful is that they act from the inside out, they don’t sell their products, they sell their beliefs.  It is these beliefs that other people relate to which harnesses their commitment, support, and buy in.

I was blown away when I heard Simon speaking about this phenomenon, because I know it to be true, certainly about me. I finally realised the reason I was so enamoured  by these inspirational people was my interpretation of their beliefs and qualities embodied my own beliefs and value systems which I aspire to.

When I examined my own list of inspirational people, I discovered several qualities they displayed which I aspire to, and therefore inspire me.

  1. They owned a deeply held vision
  2. Inner and self- directed, they listened to their intuition and the world around them became secondary if it didn’t accord with their inner guidance.
  3. What they did/shared benefitted the greater good, even if they didn’t realise it at the time.
  4. They were committed and dedicated; in fact most, if not all, view their achievements as their life’s purpose.
  5. They weren’t deterred by popular opinion,
  6. They acted fearlessly, even if inside they felt fearful

And finally, what Philippe Petit made me see so clearly:

7.  They are aspirational, they dare to attempt “the impossible,” feats and successes which any rationale mind may have said weren’t possible.

Inspirational people lead others by letting them see that their hopes, dreams, aspirations, and values are not only desirable, but are possible, by demonstrating they can be done.  Once you have seen impossible being achieved, then the world has changed.

So how can this help our everyday leaders, who aren’t out to change the world, but who grapple with the day to day reality of where they are right now?

I asked this question of a very dear mentor of mine.  “How can I lead in my small way, when all my inspiration comes from people who have changed the world, it seems overwhelming?”   What he said to me can also be true for leaders in every field.   He said, “Don’t concentrate on the world; apply your beliefs, principles and values to your world and the rest will take care of itself.”  Although I agreed I still felt apprehensive.   That was until I witnessed Philippe’s mad impossible mission and suddenly the impossible was possible, and the final piece of the jigsaw slotted into place.

You don’t have to walk a tightrope across tall buildings or ravines to inspire your employees and customers; all you need is a clear vision, faith, commitment and courage. Together with the knowledge you are making a real difference for the greater good.  For me this is the real formula for success.  

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Leaders: Should Employee Happiness be on Your Agenda?

International Day of Happiness

In April last year, the United Nations held its first conference on happiness and wellbeing in New York City.   The conference introduced the concept of “Gross National Happiness” which I have to say made me very …Happy!

One of the announcements made was there will be an International Day of Happiness on 20th March each year.

I am a big believer in happiness, and the benefits happiness can bring.  I have had many discussions with peers and colleagues and I rather believe I may be in a minority.  Not that many people disagree that happiness is a good state in which to be; mostly they just think it’s unrealistic.  Certainly in the workplace many people think it’s not even a consideration.

Happiness is An Inside Job

Now I know that employers and leaders cannot be responsible for employees’ happiness.  Happiness is an inside job.  If any of you have been in a relationship with the intention of “making someone happy” and that person is not intrinsically happy, you know how impossible it is.

The truth is, people choose to be happy or not.  Self-aware people understand that external “things” may help you get in touch with happy feelings, but rarely do they last.  In fact really happy people understand that due to the temporary nature of anything in the world, happiness is an internal state largely consisting of acceptance, interpretation and choice.

As a Leader, all you can do is increase the odds of people being happy

As you can’t control how people choose to feel, act and think; all you can do is create the right environment which increases the odds for people to happy.   You might be asking why on earth you should even consider taking such steps when you are financially strapped, your employees are revolting and daily your problems seem to be increasing.  Haven’t you enough on your plate? And why help people to be happy when there is no guarantee of success?

With the right direction, the benefits of people being happy at work are: They

  • get more work done
  • will be more committed to the task and the company
  • will be physically, mentally and emotionally more healthy
  • will infect your customers with their happiness
  • have more productive relationships with other employees
  • have fewer conflicts
  • be more resilient

Develop a Happiness Quadrant

If any of you are battling with poor employee feedback, performance issues, high absence rates, conflicts and complaints, then you might want to take some positive measures to change things.

Alright I know if you go along to the board meeting and suggest a “happiness quadrant” your fellow board members might be checking your temperature and looking for signs of addiction, but the following suggestions can be combined with your organisational development or strategic activities.

Create respect and admiration at the organisation identity level

  • Commit and demonstrate company values
  • Develop and maintain a meaningful purpose
  • Identify and communicate a worthy contribution

Celebrate and engage employees and teams

  • Monitor and put in place measures to help people meet 4 basic needs, of feeling valued, safe, in control and being a contributor
  • Help people be responsible and gain autonomy to deliver their contribution
  • Celebrate success, internally and externally
  • Tell great and meaningful organisational  and individual stories which engage emotions

 Develop a Community Culture

  • Have a defined social structure – even if it’s just the annual Christmas party
  • Accept that people aren’t perfect, create environments where people can let off steam, solve problems, or deal with frustrations and fears – safely
  • Develop sensible work/life balance
  • Develop an ethos of internal as well as external customer service.
  • Encourage and allow people to care about each other

 Create a Learning Ethos

  • Help employees gain mastery and transferable skills
  • Introduce learning which helps people to understand themselves and engenders personal growth
  • Turn mistakes into learning opportunities
  • Help people to learn and take responsibility for their own wellbeing, whether physical, emotional or mental

I know some people will think putting happiness on the agenda is not a strategic move.  My challenge for those people would be my favourite mantra “Would you rather be right or happy?”  So go on I urge you to choose “happy” and celebrate the World Happiness Day on 20th March, with some strategic thinking about creating a happy environment at work.

In the spirit of the World Happiness Day, I hope this article made you smile as well as giving some ideas about creating a happier culture at work.

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Dealing with the Negativity Epidemic

You can do something positive about negativity

As a result of an internal transfer, a client recently took over a new team. But he quickly realised that some of its members had a negative and unhelpful attitude.

This negativity manifested itself in a small clique complaining about customer expectations, some of their working conditions and the amount of work that they had to do (for which they believed that they got little thanks).

Although my client knew that he couldn’t let the situation continue, he felt that he didn’t have much of a lever with which to tackle it because, not only was the work being done, but fellow colleagues seemed to have a fairly neutral stance towards the others’ negativity. It seemed to have become the cultural norm.

Negativity is a badly acquired habit

Unfortunately, negativity can become an insidious habit within organisations. If such behaviour falls short of misconduct or appears not to have a detrimental effect on outcomes, however, it can seem easier to simply let it go.

Many teams that show a mixture of positivity and negativity muddle along without too much drama. Unfortunately though, even though performance may not appear to be hit, habitual negativity will inevitably prevent them from reaching standards of excellence or exceeding goals and targets.

For this reason, if you want your team to be outstanding, you need to tackle the negativity issue and, paradoxically, introduce a change of focus. Here are some tips for how to it:

  • Pay attention to negativity, but only with a view to moving the attention towards positivity
  • Don’t take the complaints personally
  • Be kind and don’t react to negativity with negativity – it simply perpetuates the habit
  • Remember that complaining is simply a form of communication, but you can teach people to communicate in more empowering ways
  • Talk to complainers on a regular basis and challenge their negative views. Do this on a one-to-one basis, if possible, as it is far more effective that way
  • Describe the impact that negativity has on the rest of the team
  • Help complainers reframe how they communicate their dissatisfaction
  • Where possible, help complainers to get what they want, but also show them possible means of communicating that will get better results
  • Be clear about the consequences of unacceptable negativity, which amounts to either attacking other people or having a detrimental impact on performance.

If you simply focus on the negativity, quite often the focus as with most things creates more of it.  You have to be able to swivel the focus from negativity to any positives, and there always are some.  Here are some ideas about how you can make sure the attention returns to the positive.

There are tactics you can use to replace negativity with positivity:

  • Reward positive behaviour and communication
  • Tell positive stories
  • Celebrate success regularly
  • Start meetings with positives. Be prepared to bring out the negatives, but ensure that you move back to the positives, ending with an upbeat summary
  • Set challenging targets and objectives that bring out the best in the team
  • Help the team to connect emotionally to its purpose and meaning and ensure that you get positive buy-in
  • Treat others on an adult-to-adult basis – and remember that negative complaining is a sign of immaturity.

negativity
[custom_button text="YES PLEASE SUBSCRIBE ME AND SEND ME THE LINK !" title="Custom Button" url="http://peoplediscovery.us4.list-manage1.com/subscribe?u=c02fe68c46a2c8b4bb7033d76&id=917218b7c9" size="medium" bg_color="#9F0A12" text_color="#FFFFFF" align="left" target="_blank"]


 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

What If Everything Was OK?

blog pic 2What if things were really ok?

Two nights ago, I went swimming.  It was an activity I had been looking forward to all day.  I usually go quite late because it tends to be more peaceful and as I swim I can ruminate and contemplate.

Tired and tense for the first 10 lengths or so, instead or relaxing, I found my mind worrying about a number of pieces of work I had still to complete. The anticipated peaceful relaxing swim was eluding me

As I carried on, I remembered a technique I use quite frequently with clients.  It is the “What if” frame.  It’s a well-known Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique used to help people tap into their imagination and explore situations they otherwise might consider being impossible.   It is usually used to break down limiting beliefs.

For example, a friend of mine loves his sales job, but confessed once he sometimes felt frustrated because never seemed to earn more than £50k annually.  He had never exceeded this figure and was convinced it wouldn’t get any better.  When I asked why he thought that was, he explained he didn’t think the number of customers were available to exceed that limit.

I recognised his frustration because he had simply hit a limiting belief.  I asked “What If you wereable to find ways to exceed earnings of 50k?”  What would you have done differently, and what else could you do?  He furrowed his brow and started thinking.  What this technique does, is lift a person over the “I can’t” barrier, and helps open up possibilities, to incorporate ideas and suggestions, to achieve a different outcome.

Asking “what if” can be a powerful way to get your creative juices flowing.  So when my daughter’s friend was planning her wedding, she floundered about the kind of venue she wanted and the colour of the bridesmaid’s dresses etc.   So I asked her “what if, you had the wedding of your dreams, what would the surroundings look like?”  This and questions like it helped her to begin to describe her highest desires.  From there, she was able to begin to imagine and thus describe what would work for her.

When swimming, two nights ago, I didn’t need to use my imagination, or break down my limiting beliefs.  On the contrary, my imagination was working overtime, and it was my lack of limiting beliefs, (I know only too well the possibilities open to me!), that were actually overwhelming me and making me feel stressed.  So when the “ What if ” came to my mind it was in a different context again.

As I swam, I recalled the final way I use “What if” exercises with clients, which helps them to get in touch with feelings.  Used in this way asking “what if ” is used to switch feelings.  If you are feeling low because you are scared something isn’t going to happen, or things haven’t worked out in the first place, the state you are creating can become like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, you’ve applied for a job, but you didn’t get through the last job interview, and your confidence took a dent.  Your anxiety about failing and the pressure you feel to be successful this time round simply intensifies.   You worry about it for days beforehand, and by the time you get in front of the interview panel, you are so nervous, they can’t help but wonder if actually you are up to the job because you have been wringing your hands, and stammered your way all through the interview, simply because your anxiety took over.

If, before the interview, you had asked yourself the question, “What if I were successful at getting this job?”  You imagine what it would feel like and get in touch with the joy, excitement, gratitude and enthusiasm you would experience.  If you took that experience/state into the interview room, believe me, your interviewers would also have a completely different experience of interviewing you.

Ten minutes into my swimming session, I simply asked myself.  “What if everything was OK?”  I immediately stopped worrying, the knots in my back started to relax, and suddenly my state felt peaceful.  As I swam on, I realised the worst thing I can do is not take my own advice.  What was almost certainly going to turn out a most stressful hour of battling against feeling overwhelmed and anxious, completely switched.  I realised if everything was OK, I could enjoy this hour, and simply unwind and relax.   So I transformed the next fifty minutes.

Why not transform your next hour and imagine “What if, everything was OK?”

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

The Golden Triangle Of Open-Mindedness

open-mindednessI don’t think any of us can practice total  open-mindedness because we continually have to make decisions and in order to make decisions we usually have to come to some sort of conclusion even if that means not making a decision at all.

Practicing open-mindedness, isn’t universal a characteristic we are born with.  To be effective leaders and managers we often have to develop the crucial habits of self-reflection, observation, challenging beliefs and perceptions.  For many of us, until something in life looms up to challenge us, then we simply don’t make the effort, or we just don’t realise, we should be questioning our daily paradigm.

Some of the pitfalls of not practicing open-mindedness are:

  • Having a Groundhog day experience
  • Seeing other people grow away from you
  • Staying in a miserable situation/state/relationship
  • Giving up on dreams
  • Feeling like a victim
  • Limiting other people
  • Stereo-typing situations or people
  • Coming to faulty conclusions

Within my coaching practice, I regularly see clients or people they work with, struggle to overcome fixed beliefs, values, judgments or even wishful thinking that get in the way of changing, or moving forward,  in a situation.

The most common reasons they struggle is that it sometimes feels painful to have to  a) acknowledge there is another way to look at things, and they might have gotten it wrong, b) they have a need to be right, or c) they have to track back to painful situations in their past which formed their limiting beliefs.

Byron Katie has a brilliant method which demonstrates how we can turn around beliefs and ways of thinking  to find relief from uncomfortable or painful emotions.   You can find out more about Byron Katie’s work in her series of books which started with. 

For me,  there is a simple formula which can help the process of practicing open-mindedness, and I call this “The golden triangle”.  In essence, this involves looking at tricky situations in 3 ways.  From your own perspective, the perspective of the other(s), and then as an observer

The role of the observer is essential in this process because it is in the observer’s role when it is possible to remain neutral, detached and to see the bigger picture.
The possibilities are endless. When you come to make decisions, using the perspective of an observer you come to realise:

  • For every argument “for”,  there is a counterargument
  • Beliefs, thoughts, perceptions and ideas are fluid and flexible
  • Values can change depending on different situations
  • Stories and myths are helpful to unraveling paradigms or thought patterns

We all need to form paradigms, beliefs and ways of thinking and making decisions which work for us, we couldn’t get through our daily lives without such a structure.  But if that structure isn’t working for you, then it’s time to visit the Golden Triangle and practice your muscle of open-mindedness.

 

This great article is from the People Discovery blog, associated with The e.MILE People Development Magazine: the Magazine is currently running a series for the 6 months April to September 2014 based on the challenges identified by The Centre For Creative Leaderships report 2013 Don't Miss Out!  Sign up here to be notified of our subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.