Leadership and Management

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2 Faulty Thinking Patterns Leaders Must Ditch

By Christina Lattimer • November 14, 2013 - 3:00 pm Leadership Development

Most progressive people in business understand only too well that the old paradigm of faulty thinking has long gone.

Examples like “profit before values”: underhand strategies of “the end justifies the means” or “we are important so we deserve special privileges” have been exposed and deleted by the best organisations. While businesses regroup and to make amends, change doesn’t happen overnight. Some two years or so on from the major scandals, there is still much to do.

Optimistically change for the better must occur, and evidence of proactive and definitive change is happening, typically illustrated by the very strong corporate statement issued by the likes of where they set out in no uncertain terms their ethics and standards moving forward. Other companies are positioning themselves accordingly.

Many of the problems arose, not because people involved in the scandals where inherently bad people, but because they were victims of “faulty thinking”. Faulty thinking taken to the extreme. Throughout history you can see examples of faulty thinking being taken to the extreme. Think Hitler and modern day dictatorship, terrorism, and modern day slavery. There are lesser degrees of faulty thinking, but if adopted globally then innocently seeming “right” thinking can be catastrophic.

There are some key beliefs and thinking patterns which underlie many of the “ills” of society and of course can be evidenced on the leadership stage. These beliefs have permeated our culture as a global society and therefore have become a paradigm which acts like a closed cell door and makes it seem difficult to get out. Much is of course unconscious faulty thinking. This might sound bleak, but actually by acknowledging such faulty thinking, then we are able to shine a light on this paradigm and change our beliefs and thoughts to more positive and affirming thinking which will of course create a brand new paradigm and a much brighter future.

The following set out 2 ways we continue to exercise faulty thinking and therefore limit great changes in the world and in business.

There is not enough to go round

The economic crisis is not yet over, and there is a cacophony of voices telling us there is recovery, and others who are predicting the end of society as we know it. Who knows? The whole debacle has been made by ongoing and systematic faulty thinking about our collective purpose and the possessive of money in particular.

The scarcity principle is one which is one of the most prevalent traits of faulty thinking, and one which people feel most justified in bowing down to. But it is a faulty system, borne of faulty thinking. There is no real scarcity in the world; we have made a system where we have bankrupted the world, businesses and individuals. There is plenty of food to eat and there are enough resources, we have sufficient intelligence to overcome the majority of problems which arise. We just don’t do it. Why? Because we believe there is scarcity, on a global, collective and individual level. The scarcity is literally all in our mind.

For a business leader, this is a difficult one because the thought and “evidence” of scarcity through downturns in economy, reduced budgets, income etc. is compelling. The scarcity principle is one which makes people work longer for less with little hope.

The unified alternative is to find the opportunity in any situation whether reduced economy or other situation where scarcity is the fear. Use the experience to find ways of creating more, leveraging growth and learning to challenge beliefs and assumptions and “the way things have always been done”.

This is not rocket science. Every savvy entrepreneur knows that there are always opportunities in adversity.

Favoritism

There is a standing joke on the UK version of the “X Factor” involving Louis Walsh, the long serving judge from Dublin, who is said to favour acts from Ireland whether they have talent or not . I think most people see it very much as harmless fun, and it always raises a laugh. This is only a TV show, and while I’m sure some hopeful with talent might feel put out about being turned down because people with less talent have got through by virtue of their place of birth, they hopefully can get their talent recognised elsewhere.

Favouritism in other arenas and especially in the workplace has more serious connotations. At its worst, favouritism stems from a conscious or even unconscious form of discrimination and can seem harmless, but it has far reaching effects. At best, favouritism is simply a matter of keeping ourselves in our comfort zones, because of a fear of “difference”.

Many years ago I applied for a job. Pitching up for the day of assessment and interviews, I was joined by 6 other hopefuls. Of the seven of us there was one man. We were collectively greeted by the CEO and his board, all men, and the day of interviews commenced. I remember thinking they were doing really well because they must have recognised the overly masculine nature of their top team, and they had called 6 women to interview. Surely they were committed to giving women a chance. I don’t know indeed they may well have been. The next day, I got a phone call to say that I had been an “exceptional candidate” and the board had been very impressed, but that they had decided to offer the job to another person. I was fine, and was quite amused to note when they announced the appointment, it was the only male candidate, who was successful. Now I’m not saying that they were discriminating against women, nor am I saying the male candidate didn’t have the best qualifications. But I did wonder if they were pretty comfortable in their “all male” group.

Favours can consist of securing contracts, promoting, awarding bonuses, praising, promoting, spending time, allocating quality work etc. to others with little regard to contribution or effort but because they are in the “favoured few” circle. It can mean employing family members even if they aren’t the best qualified.

The unified alternative is to be open to many different types of contribution and value them all. To develop a framework of fairness, appreciation and reward open to all. Be aware of, and guard against biases. The underlying premise to this is of course that we are all equally of value in whatever situation.

There are many ways we think in a faulty way, but if we solved those two we would have opened up a vista of opportunity, the like of which has never been seen before.

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Burying the Hatchet on Work Place Disputes

By Christina Lattimer • October 31, 2013 - 2:46 pm Leadership and Management

Disputes at work cost us much more than loss of productivity

As we speak I have placed myself at the centre of a dispute. Now for me this is quite a big deal because quite frankly I am against being in dispute per se. The details of the dispute are immaterial because all it really boils down to is that the other person I am in dispute with simply sees things differently to me, and they are trying to foist their perspective on me. (Conversely, I’m at it too!).

Because I know that disputes are futile egotistical diversions, which waste a lot of time and energy I usually avoid them like the plague. That’s not to say I don’t feel strongly about certain issues, and I abhor it when my values are being dishonoured, it’s simply that I know enough to realise that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Also life is simply too short to become embroiled.

The thing is with disputes though; it is usually when someone else’s rules, opinions or behaviours impinge on our own personal boundaries that we can no longer turn a blind eye.

Some of the facts

At work in the UK, around were recorded in 2012/13. The introduction of payment of a fee to lodge an employment dispute to a tribunal which was introduced in July 2013, has many HR professionals and employment lawyers waiting with baited breath to see if there is a sharp downfall in claims as a result. The most recent released by the UK Government are pretty inconclusive and the trends have certainly not been established.

But whether or not the payment of a fee helps to direct the minds of claimants whose disputes may be dubious is really a bit of a red herring. The emergence of an application to an employment tribunal is quite often the end result of a long and arduous route whereby somewhere along the line, parties to the dispute have failed to find a solution, or a meeting of minds.

Workplace conflict is extremely costly; in a , it was found that resolving conflict took up, on average, one day per month for each and every worker. If you start doing the math, then you realise that the cost to businesses is pretty huge. But even then, as we all know; disputes at work have a ripple effect. Not only do they take precious time to resolve, they can create an awful atmosphere, absence from work, knotty HR issues while disputes are being solved and simply drag down the business.

Why disputes occur

There are many reasons why disputes occur, but some of the common dynamics present are; roles of victim and victimiser, a sense of unfairness or injustice, a need to be right and the other wrong and sometimes a need to be better than or indignation at being seen as less than.

Some of the causes of disputes arise from:

Rules imposed by one party have been broken by the other, but the other doesn’t agree on the rules in the first place.
There is a disagreement on the facts
One person is being seen as having an unfair advantage over another
A person’s behaviour is, or is seen as, unacceptable
Decisions are made which don’t consider the person or their circumstances
There is a personality clash
Inadequate communication exists.

I’m sure there are many more, but in my experience many disputes are contained within those seven causes.

Because we are all so unique and our perspectives are so very different, conflict resolution management is not really a huge success, as can be seen by the number of disputes which have reached employment tribunal. In fact many companies might argue that the most important HR Expertise is being able to minimise the effects of disputes in the workplace.

A different mind set

There is no magic wand unfortunately. Human behaviour doesn’t transform instantly. A change of mind is needed, and this is not just in the workplace, but at home, in politics, in global leadership. The following mind-set shifts would produce a significant change in unhealthy disputes which simply squash the spirit, waste time and stunt creativity and innovation. Creating dynamics of equal value, a goal of harmonious working (healthy conflict is allowed!), and respect of boundaries and understanding each other.

These can translate into possible actions such as:

Helping people who feel victimised to access their inner strength and honour themselves.
Creating a common purpose and vision when setting rules and boundaries, and when others can’t or don’t meet them, helping them as much as possible to do so.
Allowing people to make an occasional mistake.
Treating everyone with equal value as a person
Involving and honouring everyone when instigating change
Being aware of and acknowledging when decisions are made they may have a negative impact on others and finding ways to help people when that is the case.
Raising awareness of how we operate as human beings, and our impact on others.
Creating congruent communication, where different styles are respected and used.

The funny thing is, when I began to get into my current dispute, a big part of me was saying, just surrender, don’t go down that route, let it go! But my rebel sense of indignation and rightness won over. Well for a short time anyway. I think though, it might just be time to bury the hatchet!

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10 Steps to Find Balance in the Pursuit of Excellence

By Christina Lattimer • October 17, 2013 - 1:55 pm Leadership Development

Finding balance while pursuing excellence

I met with some very dear friends earlier this week, we are friends and business colleagues and so much of the topic of conversation revolves around our respective business issues. We were recounting our progress with varying amounts of success. One of my projects is taking much longer than I thought, and I was happily talking about the qualitative changes I felt I must make before moving forward, when one of the group suggested that perhaps I should take the approach that “just good enough” might be the mind-set I needed right now. I immediately replied that I wasn’t prepared for “just good enough”, I wanted my product and services to be excellent. But as usual the exchange got me thinking. Was the pursuit of excellence on my part simply a delaying tactic?

As a master procrastinator I am usually more obvious in my efforts to avoid doing things I should, the tax return filed only 7 days before the deadline, the marketing product I have been working on for weeks but I always find something else more urgent to do. The friends I must call because I haven’t seen them for so long.

I have experienced first-hand, business owners who don’t move forward because they feel there is always more preparation to be done; when deadlines are missed because some other factor comes into play and they want to make sure everything is lined up before they move on. Such environments simply call time on innovation, motivation and enthusiasm, because nothing ever is achieved. My friend’s question made me think: Is this me?

Social media and globalisation has forced a pace on most businesses, not only to be active transparent and visible, but also to do things in an increasingly bigger, more connected and excellent way. The platform is equally open to large multi-nationals as well as the small sole trader. There is room for all, and the benchmark for excellence and the way we do business is changing rapidly. Will Yokowicz’s article “Get Ready for the Social Network of Things” gives a vivid picture of the mind-set shift which is taking place right now. Leadership Development programmes must help develop appropriate mind-sets moving forward.

There is no place to hide anymore; procrastination is not going to cut it, nor is anything other than a pursuit of excellence going to be tenable. How do we reconcile almost superhuman efforts with the fact that the vast majority of us are human? How do we drag our fallible, procrastinating, pressurised, vulnerable selves to balance work, relationships and conflicting demands, and still achieve visible excellence?

There are a number of ways we can negotiate the path of excellence without creating unnecessary stress, pessimism or doubt. Its vital leaders have a realistic strategy to both achieve the excellent results they need while on a daily basis recognising in what situations “just good enough” is acceptable. Here are my top 10 steps which help navigate the way through.

1. Be committed to achieving a clear vision

There are going to be days when achieving your vision seems like a million miles away. When this happens just keep the vision in mind and know that the universe is conspiring to help you achieve it.

2. Setbacks are simply learning curves

If you can develop the mind-set that setbacks are simply opportunities to make improvements then you will recover much more quickly. Not allowing despondency or doubt in, will accelerate growth.

3. Listen to your intuition

Sometimes a lack of progress or huge resistance is a big sign that you are working on the wrong thing. If you continually feel uninspired, stressed and pressurised then you are definitely on the wrong track.

4. Create a great team

You really can’t do it on your own. You need help to achieve excellence whether through employees, partnerships, contractors, a support network, friends and family.

5. Look after yourself

You need to take time out to rest, connect with others and do other things. Health is one of the biggest pre-requisites for achievement of excellence, and could be one of your biggest stumbling blocks if ill health prevails.

6. Be clear about your priorities and values

If for example a family crisis comes along and you need to delay then don’t agonise over your decision.

7. Plot small milestones and celebrate success

It is easy to forget all the hard work and successes you have had along the way. Sometimes you can get so focused on what’s not achieved, you don’t realise how much you have achieved.

8. Forgive yourself

When you set out on the road to achieving excellence you put your head above the parapet. You are not always going to feel like following your own path. When you feel like rebelling, then forgive yourself and get away from it until as long as it takes to get back into the right mind-set.

9. Don’t cling to results

You are going to get the right results at the right time. Even if you believe they are poor, they are simply results, giving you a nudge and an indicator to say you need to look again. A journey to excellence is about progression and constant re-evaluation.

10. Get it into perspective

In his book “” Michael Singer helps the reader get their life in perspective by saying “You’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere”. That’s not to minimise your efforts towards excellence, but realising that in this world everything ends eventually helps you to enjoy the journey much more than focusing on the destination.

Having thought through whether I should settle for “just good enough”, my resounding answer is still “No”, but I realise there are days and times when maybe I have to settle for “just good enough” rather than excellence as a temporary measure, and when I get to those times, I simply take my own advice!

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The Cornerstone of Authentic Leadership

By Christina Lattimer • October 10, 2013 - 3:29 pm Leadership Development

Authentic Leadership skills include learning from relationships.

Many years ago I worked with a client who was thinking of starting up her own business. She had many talents, and interests with lots to offer. Part of the process of finding out where she wanted to go, why and how she might do it was to explore her current employment which seemed to be causing her much angst, anger and frustration.

One of the biggest “thorns” in her workplace side was her boss. He seemed to evoke many negative emotions. She felt she was really good at what she did, but was often overlooked. She observed that her boss was quite formal and sometimes strained with her in comparison to other people who worked with him. Worse, she recounted a couple of occasions when others had got great work projects and raises, and she wasn’t even considered despite her obvious and impressive skill at what she did.

The relationship between one particular colleague and the boss made her completely see red. Her boss had a particularly great working relationship with the other lady, and even the little things like her boss saying “good morning” with gusto to this lady and sharing a laugh and anecdotes, made my client feel left out, isolated and unappreciated.

When I asked her to tell me what she thought of her boss she happily rattled away about his ability to be divisive, unfair, have favourites, unappreciative, and moody. I then asked her to put herself in her colleague’s shoes and to think about how she might describe him. The light, even at this early stage began to dawn, when she started using words like, friendly, likable, amusing, appreciative, and many more being the opposite of her own view. I then asked her if she had ever considered that her colleague might have a more successful relationship with their boss because she saw him in a more positive light. Setting a task for her to go into work and to simply view her boss through the eyes of her colleague and to see what happened; even I was unprepared for the magical change which she experienced between that coaching session and the next.

At the next session she was simply amazed at the difference she found with him when her attitude towards him changed, even though she didn’t actually say too much to him. She said he started off smiling at her, began stopping by to have a chat now and then, and even took her into his office to tell her what a remarkable job she was doing. The penny had dropped and she learned a valuable life lesson in that our relationships are often formed by our attitudes we hold towards others. Authentic leadership is born of such understanding.

Human relationships are one of the most fertile, challenging and rewarding arenas for growth and development of self-awareness, and they are the best training ground for authentic leadership. Being aware of and actively improving relationships both inside and external to the workplace is the cornerstone of great leadership development,. and authentic leadership. Not only must relationships be evaluated and given attention and effort, they must be appreciated for the learning opportunities which they hold.

The problem is we look at relationships through the wrong lens mostly. We use relationships to gauge our own or others self-worth, or we use them as if there is a hierarchy of good and bad people (I can hear the outcry now), we use them to suffer rather than celebrate. In the workplace, the extent of our discussions about relationships is limited to those about . These simply ignore one of the fundamental musts for authentic leadership, personal relationships, and I don’t mean romantic ones! If only we could just grasp the fact that relationships are learning opportunities which increase the opportunity for authentic leadership, then we would create a much better world and lay the way for much more effective and caring authentic leadership.

For me, some of the authentic leadership lessons, human relationships hold are:

Learning that love comes from within, and is not lost even when another is not around – find the love within despite what is happening outside.
That we hate in others the capacity or capability of that trait in ourselves – Forgive others. and yourself if you manage to see the potential or even the behaviour in you.
People feel what you are thinking about them, even if they aren’t consciously aware and so honesty is vital – Examine your thought behaviours and patterns as if they were transparent.
We often project our own script onto others – True listening and open-mindedness is essential to hearing others and understanding who they are.
Fear makes us want to attack and we fear being attacked – heal the fear and learn to trust one’s own self first.
Everyone is equally as valuable – without exception. Yes some people do bad things and I am not minimising that, and some people do heroically brilliant things. At the heart of who we are we all have some good, some bad and the extent of the love or fear we allow in our lives dictates our behaviour.
Perceptions are not fixed, in any given situation they can change. How we perceive others cannot ever be wholly accurate and therefore not to be trusted as an absolute authority.
Withholding judgment of others doesn’t mean not getting out of harm’s way.
We are interdependent, no “man” is an island
Love is the force which we always uncover if we are open to it.

In the workplace, while relationships may not be so intensely reflected as in the above examples, the principals still hold true. Authentic leadership, can flourish when it is know:

All roles in the workplace are important and everyone is valuable for the part they play. On a human level everyone is equally as valuable.
People of different abilities and skills will come and go in the workplace equal to the growth of the organisation. Appreciating that there should be healthy relationships for past, present and future employees are essential.
The quality of the way teams and individuals view and speak about each other in the workplace needs work and attention. Relationship building should be pivotal in growing and succeeding in the business.
People will live up to the leaders expectations of them. When operating from authentic leadership, the best is expected.
Communication strategies have to be honest, authentic and two way.
People must be encouraged to learn about themselves and others with a view to widening understanding.

Relationships are one of the cornerstones of authentic leadership, badging these as “soft skills” simply isn’t tenable any longer. They are HARD, emotionally charged lessons to learn, but if we have the courage to get into that particular class, and truly learn those skills then the rewards will be huge.

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10 Ways to Get Focused When You Simply Have Too Much To Do

By Christina Lattimer • September 19, 2013 - 1:59 pm Miscellaneous

10 Tips on How to get Focused When Multi- tasking

I don’t know about you but I do struggle at times to feel in control when my “to-do-list” is over the page. Unfortunately while mindlessly reacting, I’ve developed an almost comic strip routine, a little like starting a new healthy eating regime, it only lasts a few days and then old habits usually take over. The routine goes like this: I draw up a new to-do-list; I prioritise it, and start working through it. What usually happens is an emergency occurs, or something unexpected becomes the priority of the day, and my carefully planned prioritisation goes out of the window. I spend a day or two trying to get through some bulk volume work, spend unplanned evenings catching up and then the whole cycle starts again.

My 16 year old son has just started into 6^th form, for a lad who simply hates homework, at least 16 hours of it each week is a big stretch; it’s a whole new paradigm shift for him, one which already into the 2^nd week has become a source of stress. Of course he has to build habits which are going to help him to avoid being stressed. As I was giving him some advice about how to focus, I realised it was about time to take my own advice. So here I am writing this blog (on time) because yesterday, I began the process of practicing what I preached. I have heard many times that you learn best what you teach, so I thought in that spirit, I would share my advice with you! If you are ultra-organised and can add to the list, please do share! Any advice will help me I’m sure.

Ten ways to get focused :

1. Turn off the technology

With an array of teenage social media such as Snap chat, Instagram, Face book and IM, my son’s phone pretty much pings constantly. For me, my guilty time waster is to open emails when they ping into my inbox on my desk or laptop. This idea is as old as the first installed workplace computer, we all know we have to do it, but it takes some discipline and determination to ignore our ever increasing online communications.

2. Do one thing at a time

I know, I know it’s not rocket science, but I do flit about from project to project at times. My son started some Psychology homework, got stuck and instead of getting over the “difficult hurdle” he put it down and started something else. Doing one thing at a time means doing it from start to finish, without being distracted with something else. To actually do this takes determination and concentration, but it is well worth it as even difficult tasks get ticked off.

3. Diarise non urgent tasks a month ahead

If you have a million things to do and half of them are routine and definitely not going to be urgent in the next week or so, then diarise them a month in the future. I know it doesn’t get them off your list, but it gets them off your list for now. For me, it is like a breath of fresh air to know I don’t have to give those routine items a priority, and if I do happen to get up to date, I can always reach forward and get those things done and feel even more virtuous!

4. Chunk down daunting tasks

My son had his first 1000 word essay to do; he was daunted to say the least (while I tactfully kept quiet about the 10k and 20k feats which might come if he goes onto higher education). If you are daunted by the size of the task, then chunk it down into manageable tasks. Put each smaller task into a series of priorities and complete each one in order. It is easier to concentrate on a task if you know it’s only going to take an hour or so, than when you know it’s going to take a couple of days.

5. Have a purpose

When I have a mundane, but a priority task to do, I need a good purpose. So for example, when I got my tax return done earlier this month, I had to remind myself that if I got it done, not only would it not be hovering over me, like the ghost of Christmas Past, but I would be able to completely get focused on tasks I really love and enjoy. My son had to remind himself that he wanted to spend some of his weekend playing football and going out with friends, and not have to do homework instead. Having big picture purposes can help too, although tend not to be so effective, as small ones. At the moment, my son has a vision for his future, so he needs to remind himself that by focusing now, it will help him achieve his goals.

6. Don’t do it

Ok, this tip isn’t about focus, but getting rid of unnecessary or habitual tasks helps to get you focused on the important and necessary tasks. If you can’t find a good reason to do it, other than, you always do, or its part of your routine, or you’re scared to let it go, then stop.

7. Be in the right environment

We are lucky because we have a spare bedroom which my son is now using as his study. It means he can shut the door and escape from the hub-bub of the rest of the house. If you are in a busy office and can’t concentrate for interruptions and activity around you, then go somewhere else. I managed a busy office with over 80 employees on site, and as my door was wide open, I had a constant queue of people coming to see me. During one particular crisis we encountered, I was struggling to pull together an urgent report, when one of my dear team members, marched over, popped her head round the door and said, “excuse me, but this is for your own good”, and she shut the door and taped a “Do not disturb” sign on my door. Yes I should have done it myself of course, but being in reactive mode can sometimes be a lifelong habit.

8. Take a break

If you get to a point where you are finding it hard going, take a break. Taking a break does not mean checking your phone or emails, it is about going to get a coffee, getting some fresh air or even practicing a five minute mediation. It is about quieting your mind, not populating it with fresh information

9. Establish a routine.

If you are a morning person then getting through your priority tasks should be done as soon as you get to your desk, or as soon as you can. You know what times of the day you are most productive, don’t waste those times on routine non urgent tasks, reserve them for the things you really need to do to make a difference. Once you’ve established your time zone, then stick to it and make it a habit as prevalent as brushing your teeth.

10. Borrow tips

My tenth tip is borrowed from a great mentor of mine, the eminently successful Peter Thomson, who is the UK’s most prolific Information Product Creator. So sorry, I don’t want to steal Peter’s thunder, so you will have to wait for this one, as I have interviewed Peter for the next issue of our monthly E-Zine “The Extra MILE” where he tells readers all about his work and in amongst his great advice he also shares his brilliantly simple tip to help people get things done, which is brilliantly effective! Do visit our website, and sign up for the E-zine to be sent directly to your inbox so you don’t miss out on Peter’s sage advice.

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3 Ways We Block Success

By Christina Lattimer • September 13, 2013 - 1:42 pm Leadership Development

Three Ways We Block Success

I’ve often wondered why people don’t as a rule live up to their potential:

People with fabulous skills who for many reasons don’t feel the need to use them. A great friend of mine has the interior designer skill of Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen. She tirelessly attacks her house like painting the Forth Bridge, where she just finishes designing and changing her final room, then starts again. Her imagination, flair and precision to detail and colour are amazing. She makes her living from a completely different profession, one which she contributes greatly, but is hard work and low paid. A few years ago I asked her why she didn’t take her outstanding design skills to the next level, get paid for it, and become a success. I realised there was a lot at stake when she gave me about 15 resounding reasons why not.

I wasn’t surprised, and I know enough never to judge another person’s destiny or life, but I’ve seen it again and again, when hidden talents are just that: hidden away and not acted upon.

When researching for my degree dissertation, one of the questions I asked about 100 people was: “If you had all the money you wanted and there were no obstacles, would you be doing what you do now?” I can’t remember the exact figures, but it was in the 80%+ bracket of those interviewed who said “no. They wouldn’t”. When I asked them what they would do instead, some had startling clear ideas, some had a bit of an idea and others didn’t know, what they were sure of though was it wasn’t what they did right now.

It’s not just about making use of our talent and skills, many of us (me included) procrastinate, and talk about the fact that “we should get more sleep” or “we should lose those extra pounds” or “we need to stop working so hard, spend time with the family, take that holiday we’ve always dreamed about. I imagine you can add to the list.

I’m listening to the audio version of “” (2009) a co-authored book by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. The three authors describe their unique perspectives of how our unconscious or our shadow affects us all. For those on a spiritual path, the book is a must, for those of you who aren’t there is still many great psychological principles which are useful to understand if you want to really be your true self.

In the book, Debbie Ford describes how our shadow dictates our behaviour at times and how we need to look within to harness and direct what can be an unconscious destructive power. The problem of course, is, if we are being driven by an unconscious force, then we don’t know about it and are in denial! Our shadow is made up of all the characteristics, feelings, memories and traits we want to bury away and forget. The problem is, when such episodes are repressed then, they don’t go away and resurface in a number of destructive ways.

I have done enough reflection and work on myself to have experienced the sweet release when you face up to a painful or shameful memory, and come to terms with it, and so recognise the healing power of looking at our shadow, although it doesn’t make it any easier, and there is always something to look at! It is very much a lifelong journey.

In the workplace, again and again, I’ve seen characters who had potential to be a success, who at the last minute would do something to jeopardise their progress. I saw people yearning for a different lifestyle, not extraordinary outrageous changes, just simple ones, but forever keeping it out of their reach. There are many ways we sabotage our success, but for me these are the 3 most prevalent.

1. Repressing painful memories, which make us fearful to move forward, or keep us locked in unsatisfying and dead-end relationships.

Not facing up to our inner pain seems like a good strategy. Who wants to feel pain? Of course we don’t. Allowing ourselves to work through pain heals and releases us from unnecessary suffering. The main reason we hold onto unnecessary pain, is that we have interpreted the pain we are feeling to mean something about us. “He left because I wasn’t good enough”, or,” he lost his job because he is just one of life’s losers” We bury the pain, because we cannot bear to face the incorrect interpretation we have arrived at.

2. Allowing fear to prevent us from taking our talents to where they can benefit and help others.

Many of us live in our comfort zone and facing fears is part of growing and living. When I asked my friend why she didn’t want to take her interior design skills and get paid for her obvious talent, one of the many reasons she stated, was: “Who would want someone of my age to design their houses?” (She was in her mid-40’s at the time). What this response and many others amount to, one of our many human foibles is that many of us just don’t feel good enough. The truth is of course, that we are all good enough, and we don’t have to be perfect.

3. Claiming inappropriate guilt when we have honored ourselves.

My friends got together many years ago, leaving their respective spouses. They had kids, and it was a terrible guilt-gut wrenching time for all involved. A couple of years ago, my friends realised that guilt was still dictating their lives, when their children were all stretching them to the limit and causing havoc. Although they didn’t realise it, they were not drawing appropriate boundaries and limits because they felt guilty. One of the ex-spouses had never married again, proclaiming that their life had been ruined. This spectre of blame and guilt over- shadowed the lives of the long married pair. When removing oneself from a poor relationship, it is a way of honoring oneself. That is not to say there should not be respect, kindness and consideration for the other partner who may not want the split; certainly if you want to move on from a relationship, you have to take responsibility. But how long should you wear that hair shirt? Of course, it benefits no-one and especially those children, who needed to understand that sometimes, life’s like that. Once they realised their guilt was governing their lives, they made some big changes, and months later, much happier children, and a much happier family life was achieved.

At work too, the collective shadow can come into play, keeping great potential cloaked in an unhappy comfort zone, creating conflict and affecting the success of the team. Organisations carry their own stories of guilt, repression of feelings and fear. That’s why story-telling and re-framing the past as well as stories about the vision for the future is so important for businesses.

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3 Ways We Block Success

By Christina Lattimer • September 13, 2013 - 7:15 am Miscellaneous

Three Ways We Block Success

I’ve often wondered why people don’t as a rule live up to their potential:

I wasn’t surprised, and I know enough never to judge another person’s destiny or life, but I’ve seen it again and again, when hidden talents are just that: hidden away and not acted upon.

Repressing painful memories, which make us fearful to move forward, or keep us locked in unsatisfying and dead-end relationships.

Allowing fear to prevent us from taking our talents to where they can benefit and help others.

Claiming inappropriate guilt when we have honored ourselves.

Christina has managed people for twenty seven years and led hugely successful teams. She has worked with people at all levels in various organisations to help them achieve their potential, and she has been actively involved in the learning and development field in a number of different roles.People Discovery is a Leadership Development coaching consultancy, based in North East England, working globally. The e.MILE Community is a networking, sharing and business directory for people who know “there must be a better way”By Christina LattimerFollow us on

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3 Reasons Why A Great Engagement Strategy Isn’t Enough

By Christina Lattimer • August 23, 2013 - 10:44 am Leadership and Management

An engagement strategy means the ability to create an environment where employees are engaged and encouraged to bring out their self-motivation are “must have” leadership skills.

I have worked with many leaders who have made great efforts to put in place a culture which gets the best out of people and gets them involved and committed. But sometimes their efforts simply weren’t, frustratingly, enough. Indeed many organisations invest much time and resource into getting it right, but even though they are well-intentioned, sometimes, often, their initiative is simply doomed; if not to fail, then at best, the outcomes simply don’t live up to expectations.In my experience, there were times, even when the company was doing well, a constant thread of discontent existed amongst the team or even across the whole organisation. For a long time I put this down to human nature. There are positive people and negative people and you can’t get it right 100%: right?I even found times when team and organisational results were high, and leaders were celebrating their successes; employee engagement indicators showed there wasn’t a corresponding “high” in the way employees were buying in or not to the success of the business. In one scenario, one organisation won accolades for leadership excellence when the engagement index for staff was actually sweeping the bottom of the industry league tables. Obviously the criteria for leadership excellence were missing some vital ingredients in engaging and enthusing their people.

For me, I have found, there are three common problems which if not tackled and given focus and attention will leave the best intentioned leaders and managers left scratching their heads in their efforts to create a great working environment. At first glance, most leaders and managers would probably deny these problems are alive and well in their workplace, but often denial can stem from the lack of perspective, given their proximity to the problem.

The three problems, I believe if not tackled will sabotage attempts to engage and motivate people are:

Lack of Drive to Excel

This syndrome often occurs when organisations are getting reasonable results. It’s a little like living with an old and trusted cooker. As long as it’s working and cooking tasty meals, then there’s no need to change. Once it’s broken though, then you will start looking around to see what’s out there, and slam, the realisation that your oven was “in the dark ages” compared to the brilliant new technology available and how much time can be saved with technological advances, comes into your awareness.

Many organisations are still “cooking on gas”, in their minds, but they haven’t caught on to the many brilliant possibilities that exist, if they decided to raise their game, and invest in something new. In a nutshell, the organisational culture is resistant to operating outside of the established comfort zone, which would have been forced had results been poor or disappointing. Results which were “good enough” didn’t leverage sufficient motivation to change and achieve even better results.

Believing in Average Ability of their Employees

Some 5 years ago, I applied to win a place in a local Academy for my son. In those days Academies in the UK were few and far between. This particular school was amazing. At that time, results showed it was in the top ten schools in England. The school didn’t have formal feeder schools, so each one of its 190 odd intake of pupils was by application. They were and continue to be 2 – 1 oversubscribed.

In my ignorance, I expected the school to favour “bright” children, given its amazing results. What I found, still makes me wonder. The school intake policy includes an obligation to take in pupils from the whole spectrum of “ability” from children who had “special needs” to those who were nearing genius status. The bulk and the majority of children had to be sourced from average to below average results. It worked out at about 70% of the pupils were average achievers when they arrived at the school.

When the head was asked about how they managed to get such amazing results given the mix of abilities, he told the silent parents that unlike other schools, they truly believed that everyone was capable of excelling and so from that belief they got the best out of the vast majority of their pupils.

What I have seen in many organisations is a similar syndrome to that which most schools suffer, unlike the Academy. The general belief in the average ability of a large percentage of their employees which resulted in a self-fulfilling prophesy, i.e. they produced average results in the main.

Lack of Internal Customer Service

I have seen many organisations have great outcome related external customer service policies, and strategies. They have plans to engage people with the organisational “big picture”, “mission” and they hold focus groups and ask people constantly how they can make things better, but they continue to ignore the internal relationships between peers, teams and departments.

Insufficient attention is paid to internal relationships, contribution ethos, innovation, values and helpfulness within an organisation. This is all about internal customer service. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with friendly rivalry between teams if their starting line is that they always act “for the greater good of the organisation”. It doesn’t matter how much effort is put into engaging, planning and rewarding people, if the relationships aren’t designed to “serve” each other as internal customers, excellence is never going to be achieved.

Including some well needed perspective to lift your team out of their comfort zone, help foster self-belief in your people and get your internal customer service to work brilliantly must be part of your plan if you want to be brilliantly successful.

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Leaders Make Mistakes Too – 5 Steps to Redeem a Potentially Fatal Error

By Christina Lattimer • August 15, 2013 - 3:07 pm Leadership and Management

Repeated mistakes are no longer sustainable

Ethics, morality and values based leadership are high on any thought leaders agenda right now. Realisation that materialism, self-gain and profit above ethics is no longer tenable, means leaders now have to be really clear their organisational and personal values, not only have to match, but must be demonstrated on a day-to day basis.

The public outcry in response to the face book status, made by Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In Editor, , is a stark demonstration of how questionable values can destroy trust.

For readers who have not yet followed this undoubtedly viral story, Jessica Bennett’s status invited applications for an “unpaid intern” with a description of the desired skill set and expectations in terms of the intern’s availability.

The response was immediate, with the majority of responders expressing “disgust” at the decision to attempt to get unpaid help, while Lean In’s purpose to promote and foster equality in the workplace, appears to be compromised. To make matters worse, it seems, Sheryl Sandberg’s widely reported sale of $91 Million Worth Of Facebook Stock” would suggest the founder of the organisation is not short of a bob or two.

Some brave responders disagreed and suggested the opportunity to gain the experience Lean In could offer would so benefit the intern that to work for free was a “gift”.

At the time of writing Sheryl Sandberg had yet to respond, while the Los Angeles Times, published a a short statement from Lean In. “Andrea Saul, a spokeswoman for Lean In, said in a statement: “LeanIn.Org, like many non-profits, has enjoyed the participation of part-time volunteers to help us advance our education and peer support programs.”

Whatever the intention behind the Facebook status, the announcement has not only caused readers to question Lean In’s organisational values, but also demonstrates how different perspectives and views take on a life of their own and can call into question the values of the leader.

The problem with values at work is that actions always speak louder than words. Leaders who say one thing while doing another are simply creating an environment of distrust and division. Care needs to be taken that all actions are aligned to fundamental values. This is true not only when public announcements take place, but when internal decisions are being taken. Every action is conveyed out, and note will be taken, whether the leader likes it or not.

For Lean In, there may be a number of valid explanations for calling to recruit unpaid people to work for the organisation, but lack of clarification or communication is allowing people to simply make up their own minds. At best, this is a badly worded gaffe. At worst, it demonstrates a lack of commitment to organisational values and therefore calls into question the effectiveness of the aims of the organisation.

Like it or not, if you are a leader, there are going to be times when you either communicate inadequately or simply make a wrong call.

I’ve made many mistakes in my time, and the incident which springs to mind, happened only a few years ago.

I had worked hard with my team to foster a culture of inclusion and collaboration, making sure everyone was heard and had a say, where it was appropriate to do so. I also wanted to offer a service to our customers that was second to none, and the team was tasked to develop a strategy to do so.

Ever an opportunist, while this process was going on I got the chance to sign the entire team up for accredited customer service training for peanuts, as the training provider had access to grant funding. After a pretty unscheduled demonstration I signed on the dotted line, thinking I had bagged a brilliant bargain and a great opportunity for my team.

As soon as I made the announcement, I realised of course, I had made a tremendous gaffe. Notwithstanding the training and assignment time was completely in work-time, notwithstanding the team were going to get a recognised qualification, as well as learn the skills of brilliant customer service, all for a price which hardly made a dent in our ever pressed budget; I had violated at least three fundamental values, which I had been at pains to stress over the months I had worked with the team. The first one was simply to communicate with them, the second, to consult with them about major decisions which affected them and the third was to allow them to develop the overall customer service strategy, and take ownership of it.

Thankfully they took me to task about my actions in no uncertain terms. I was within a hairsbreadth of losing their trust forever. I knew my intentions were good, but I also knew I had to do something honest and with integrity to make matters right. The following framework can be applied to most situations, although they may come in different orders depending on the impact of the gaffe.

Admit you were wrong and apologise. I told them I was sorry, and honestly explained that in my enthusiasm to capture what I thought was an amazing opportunity, I had acted too quickly.

Set out your original intention. I wanted to be able to help my team develop exceptional customer service skills. I wasn’t expecting them to study or attend workshops outside of working hours. I also wanted to give them an externally recognisable qualification so it added to their bank of transferable skills. Most of the time, we do make decisions with the best of intentions, even if we haven’t thought through the entirety of our actions. Without being defensive, it is part of being honest to describe your reasons for making the decision. If well-intentioned then your reasoning is a valid factor.

Get Feedback. It’s no good forging on and making good without really listening to what your team are saying. If you want to make things right, you cannot assume anything. When I first heard objections to the proposal for training, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the team just didn’t want to commit. Luckily enough I had enough experience to realise this probably wasn’t the case. When I realised it was because they thought I had tread on their space and usurped their decision making powers, I could not but be grateful that the very values I had tried to introduce were alive and well.

Understand Your Bottom Line. Sometimes good decisions are made in the wrong way, and the outcome is un-negotiable. At other times, there are some options, where some compromise can be made and then you can find a solution within those parameters. In some cases, you just have to put your hands up and ditch your decision. In this situation, having listened to team members, I gave them back their decision making power, and made entry onto the course optional; although it was understood we had to find a way to help those not undertaking the training to find a way to meet the aspirational standards we needed. As it happens every one undertook the training (and passed!).

Make Amends. The customer service you remember is when the provider or supplier goes the extra mile. Things may go horribly wrong, but it is how the supplier deals with the situation that you remember best. It is the same with making a gaffe. It is how you subsequently deal with it which is at the heart of your redemption. As well as all of the above steps, in this case, I asked the team how they wanted to interact with me in the future, to make sure they were fully informed about potential developments and also that I consulted with them. I committed to this and made sure I followed up with my promise because I realised how tenuously close I had been in losing trust.

No doubt it will become apparent what the intentions behind the “Lean In” situation are in reality. It may be decided to quietly withdraw the post and make no announcement. I sincerely hope though they follow the 5 steps above or take similar action to deal with their gaffe.

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The 3 Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make Which Diminishes Their Credibility

By Christina Lattimer • August 1, 2013 - 11:25 am Miscellaneous

The 3 Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make Which Diminishes Their Credibility

Inconveniently, I’ve always had a conscience for some reason. This is not a holier than thou admission, it is just telling it how it is. It doesn’t mean I’ve always done the right thing, in fact I could fill this page with actions and reactions I’ve made over the years which make me positively cringe.

What this meant for me for many years, was I would act in a way which logically was right, but I often walked around feeling bad. When I would react in anger or judgement or just downright selfishly, I always had a stab in my abdomen which told me (I thought), how bad I was. Certainly when I was younger I was often angry or judgemental so I felt pretty bad much of the time.

As I grew, I realised that the stab in the abdomen was a warning that I was pretty much going to get myself into trouble, and that I was on the wrong track. It took me years to listen, but when I did, I realised inside me I had a brilliant guidance system which if I listened hard enough would help keep me out of trouble. I think I was lucky though born with a preference for intuition, even though my ego like an unruly rebellious child simply wanted to ignore it much of the time.

What I learned when leading and managing teams was that my intuition was absolutely vital and valuable, when I chose to listen of course.

There are a number of things my intuition told me as I led and managed others. The first one was to act with integrity. I strived to do this; tempted often to be expedient rather than act with integrity I mostly managed it, the gut always flashing that red warning light when I ignored this sound advice.

The second was to value everyone equally, and be scrupulously fair in my dealings with others. This was a challenging call. Like everyone else, it’s easy to lean towards those who are like you and who make your life easier. It’s much more challenging to embrace those who aren’t and who seem to give you endless headaches.

The third I want to highlight is to live a life of contribution. Definitely the most challenging tasks my intuition kept hammering home to me. Although I was always pretty motivated at work (ok, some would say a workaholic), it was only up until a very few years ago I was driven by my own desire to do a good job, my main motivation being to demonstrate to and give my kids a better life. My kids are pretty much grown up now, so once I realised I had kind of achieved that goal, a mini depression set in because I had lost my purpose. And of course, this was just the opportunity my intuition had been waiting for! The only way I was able to regain my sense of purpose was to start down the path of contribution.

There are many lessons my intuition has taught me, and they have all been kindly and affirming. When I have ignored them my intuition just waits silently, not judging, not impatiently, simply waiting for the time when I was ready to listen.

Its vital leaders get in touch with their intuition, because when they do, decision making doesn’t come any easier, but it does have better results. I have found, through both bitter experience and observing others, many ways leaders destroy their credibility and lose the trust of their team. The following are for me the most prevalent.

These mistakes of course, are not limited to leaders and managers; they demonstrate the character of you as a person. So today, ask yourself if you are making these mistakes. If you are don’t worry, we are all do to an extent. But with awareness comes change.

Don’t act with integrity

There are many versions of integrity, and sometimes the components of integrity are difficult to articulate. But for me acting with integrity describes a number of forces at play. Some of them include acting in accordance with the values you lay claim to. Understanding what others value and respecting them even if you don’t agree with them. Accepting others, being non-judgemental, discerning and being true to oneself. Being open to being wrong is always a key component of integrity! To act in true integrity can infer a heightened consciousness, or self-awareness. When leaders don’t act with integrity, then team members don’t feel safe.

Don’t value others equally

This is a hard one, because when someone is making life difficult it is hard to value them as much as someone who isn’t. We all make judgements even superficially. Our unconscious biases are always in play. The differences for leaders who consciously value others equally are the fact they are always questioning their decisions.

One of the biggest problems I find with clients is in their desire to get rid of a difficult person they form an attitude about them as a person. This just gets in the way. The best way to deal with difficult people is to maintain respect for them as people, but deal with their behaviour. Just because you value people equally, doesn’t mean you don’t deal decisively with unwanted behaviour. You are just kind when you do. When leaders don’t value others equally for being human, then even the most favoured employee will observe and note the unfairness, even if they aren’t at the receiving end of it.

Lack a contribution mind-set

There is nothing wrong with a leader who is competitive, results orientated, commercially driven, or profits orientated. But if their drive isn’t coupled with a genuine desire to make a meaningful difference; to help others; to contribute to the community, or to honour others, then no matter how successful, their credibility as a leader will be diminished, even if only a little. Like it or not, our nature is to contribute. If a leader doesn’t embrace that drive within us, then the team whether they are consciously aware of it or not, will hold back with their loyalty and commitment.

So there are my 3 top ways that leaders and managers compromise the trust and credibility with their team. What would you add?

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