The Hidden Power For Leadership and Life

mindEveryone has this power, some of us just don’t realise it.

When I first began leading and managing teams, I would be irritated by negative and “play it safe” people.  My desire to get on and create great outcomes meant anyone or anything which appeared to block the team power  or create resistance was simply just a nuisance.  That was just one of the many immature attitudes I began my leadership career with.

Many years of experience later, I realised  my irritation was more to do with the fact  I wasn’t actually looking in the mirror at my own resistance and negativity and loss of power.   I’ve always seen the world as a giant classroom and what I didn’t learn via Leadership Development, I learned through reflecting on my experiences.

One of the biggest AHA moments in my life and a huge turning point for me was discovering the power of the mind. Quantum science has been showing us for some time that    “by the very act of watching, the observer affects the observed reality”.  This startling discovery profoundly changes the world that we live in, and I am not sure yet we have fully grasped the concept.  Research such as Emoto’s Water Experiment which shows how water structure changed when exposed to different thought patterns is amazing. In essence what these factors meant for me and certainly what I have experienced is this.

  • What I believed about my team was crucial to their success and secondly
  • My team always lived up to my expectations.
  • Quite often I projected the traits I did not like in myself onto my team and instead of dealing with the unwanted trait myself, I blamed others for it.

This is not a flight of fancy.  When the penny dropped and I believed my team could be dynamic, enthusiastic and creative, I focused on those aspects and not only did I encourage those behaviours, when I saw contrary behaviours; instead of getting hung up about them, I practically helped my team find solutions and develop ways to get different outcomes.

Instead of projecting negativity on them, I started to project positive and affirming traits. The fact is our minds are creatively powerful.  Imagination is the creative force of the universe.  Anything which has been created was first envisaged and imagined.  When we experience outcomes we don’t want then we have mis-created, because we have focused on what we don’t want instead of what we do; it is as simple as that.   Mother Therese fully understood this phenomenon when she said, “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me”.

Instead of anti-war; focus on peace.  Instead of diversity; focus on inclusion.  The unconscious mind doesn’t understand filler words, so if you say: I don’t want to go bankrupt, guess what you have set in motion? If you say, I am becoming successful and my business is abundant, and believe it, then that is what you will set in motion. This simple fact is hard to believe because much of our mindfulness is unconscious and it is our unconscious beliefs and tapes which are often creating our world.  Our job is to become aware of our unconscious faulty beliefs and change them with life-affirming and sustaining beliefs.

Every single one of us is creating, we just aren’t aware of it, or we have disconnected from our awareness of it, and so quite often we mis-create.  Much of leadership is about facilitating different mind-sets in order to consciously create rather than unconsciously mis-create. The mind is our creative force, and how we use it is extremely important.  Most commonly because we don’t realise or understand the creative power of the mind, we are constantly in Groundhog Day.  Our script is set, our beliefs are set in stone, our thinking patterns are habitual, we doubt our actions and our days and lives will trundle along.

Many of you will be familiar with the famous quote from Marianne Williamson “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us” The truth is whenever we are judging or blaming or denying responsibility we are in fact running from the astonishing power of our creative mind.

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

10 Steps to Find Balance in the Pursuit of Excellence

excellenceFinding balance while pursuing excellence

I met with some very dear friends earlier this week, we are friends and business colleagues and so much of the topic of conversation revolves around our respective business issues.  We were recounting our progress with varying amounts of success.  One of my projects is taking much longer than I thought, and I was happily talking about the qualitative changes I felt I must make before moving forward, when one of the group suggested that perhaps I should take the approach that “just good enough”  might be the mind-set I needed right now. I immediately replied that I wasn’t prepared for “just good enough”, I wanted my product and services to be excellent.  But as usual the exchange got me thinking. Was the pursuit of excellence on my part simply a delaying tactic?

As a master procrastinator I am usually more obvious in my efforts to avoid doing things I should, the tax return filed only 7 days before the deadline, the marketing product I have been working on for weeks but I always find something else more urgent to do.  The friends I must call because I haven’t seen them for so long.

I have experienced first-hand, business owners who don’t move forward because they feel there is always more preparation to be done; when deadlines are missed because some other factor comes into play and they want to make sure everything is lined up before they move on.  Such environments simply call time on innovation, motivation and enthusiasm, because nothing ever is achieved.  My friend’s question made me think: Is this me?

Social media and globalisation has forced a pace on most businesses, not only to be active transparent and visible, but also to do things in an increasingly bigger, more connected and excellent way.  The platform is equally open to large multi-nationals as well as the small sole trader.   There is room for all, and the benchmark for excellence and the way we do business is changing rapidly.  Will Yokowicz’s article “Get Ready for the Social Network of Things” gives a vivid picture of the mind-set shift which is taking place right now.  Leadership Development  programmes must help develop appropriate mind-sets moving forward.

There is no place to hide anymore; procrastination is not going to cut it, nor is anything other than a pursuit of excellence going to be tenable.  How do we reconcile almost superhuman efforts with the fact that the vast majority of us are human?   How do we drag our fallible, procrastinating, pressurised, vulnerable selves to balance work, relationships and conflicting demands, and still achieve visible excellence?

There are a number of ways we can negotiate the path of excellence without creating unnecessary stress, pessimism or doubt.   Its vital leaders have a realistic strategy to both achieve the excellent results they need while on a daily basis recognising in what situations “just good enough” is acceptable.   Here are my top 10 steps which help navigate the way through.

1. Be committed to achieving a clear vision  

There are going to be days when achieving your vision seems like a million miles away.  When this happens just keep the vision in mind and know that the universe is conspiring to help you achieve it.

2. Setbacks are simply learning curves

If you can develop the mind-set that setbacks are simply opportunities to make improvements then you will recover much more quickly.   Not allowing despondency or doubt in, will accelerate growth.  

3. Listen to your intuition

Sometimes a lack of progress or huge resistance is a big sign that you are working on the wrong thing.  If you continually feel uninspired, stressed and pressurised then you are definitely on the wrong track.

4. Create a great team

You really can’t do it on your own.  You need help to achieve excellence whether through employees, partnerships, contractors, a support network, friends and family.

5. Look after yourself

You need to take time out to rest, connect with others and do other things.  Health is one of the biggest pre-requisites for achievement of excellence, and could be one of your biggest stumbling blocks if ill health prevails.

6. Be clear about your priorities and values

If for example a family crisis comes along and you need to delay then don’t agonise over your decision.

7. Plot small milestones  and celebrate success

It is easy to forget all the hard work and successes you have had along the way.  Sometimes you can get so focused on what’s not achieved, you don’t realise how much you have achieved.

8. Forgive yourself

When you set out on the road to achieving excellence  you put your head above the parapet.  You are not always going to feel like following your own path.  When you feel like rebelling, then forgive yourself and get away from it until as long as it takes to get back into the right mind-set.

9. Don’t cling to results

You are going to get the right results at the right time.  Even if you believe they are poor, they are simply results, giving you a nudge and an indicator to say you need to look again.  A journey to excellence is about progression and constant re-evaluation.

10. Get it into perspective

In his book “” Michael Singer helps the reader get their life in perspective by saying “You’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere”.  That’s not to minimise your efforts towards excellence, but realising that in this world everything ends eventually helps you to enjoy the journey much more than focusing on the destination.

Having thought through whether I should settle for “just good enough”, my resounding answer is still “No”, but I realise there are days and times when maybe I have to settle for “just good enough” rather than excellence as a temporary measure, and when I get to those times, I simply take my own advice!

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

The Cornerstone of Authentic Leadership

Authentic LeadershipAuthentic Leadership skills include learning from relationships.

Many years ago I worked with a client who was thinking of starting up her own business. She had many talents, and interests with lots to offer. Part of the process of finding out where she wanted to go, why and how she might do it was to explore her current employment which seemed to be causing her much angst, anger and frustration.

One of the biggest “thorns” in her workplace side was her boss. He seemed to evoke many negative emotions. She felt she was really good at what she did, but was often overlooked. She observed that her boss was quite formal and sometimes strained with her in comparison to other people who worked with him. Worse, she recounted a couple of occasions when others had got great work projects and raises, and she wasn’t even considered despite her obvious and impressive skill at what she did.

The relationship between one particular colleague and the boss made her completely see red. Her boss had a particularly great working relationship with the other lady, and even the little things like her boss saying “good morning” with gusto to this lady and sharing a laugh and anecdotes, made my client feel left out, isolated and unappreciated.

When I asked her to tell me what she thought of her boss she happily rattled away about his ability to be divisive, unfair, have favourites, unappreciative, and moody. I then asked her to put herself in her colleague’s shoes and to think about how she might describe him.  The light, even at this early stage began to dawn, when she started using words like, friendly, likable, amusing, appreciative, and many more being the opposite of her own view. I then asked her if she had ever considered that her colleague might have a more successful relationship with their boss because she saw him in a more positive light. Setting a task for her to go into work and to simply view her boss through the eyes of her colleague and to see what happened; even I was unprepared for the magical change which she experienced between that coaching session and the next.

At the next session she was simply amazed at the difference she found with him when her attitude towards him changed, even though she didn’t actually say too much to him. She said he started off smiling at her, began stopping by to have a chat now and then, and even took her into his office to tell her what a remarkable job she was doing. The penny had dropped and she learned a valuable life lesson in that our relationships are often formed by our attitudes we hold towards others. Authentic leadership is born of such understanding.

Human relationships are one of the most fertile, challenging and rewarding arenas for growth and development of self-awareness, and they are the best training ground  for authentic leadership.   Being aware of and actively improving relationships both inside and external to the workplace is the cornerstone of great leadership development,.  and authentic leadership.  Not only must relationships be evaluated and given attention and effort, they must be appreciated for the learning opportunities which they hold.

The problem is we look at relationships through the wrong lens mostly. We use relationships to gauge our own or others self-worth, or we use them as if there is a hierarchy of good and bad people (I can hear the outcry now), we use them to suffer rather than celebrate. In the workplace, the extent of our discussions about relationships is limited to those about . These simply ignore one of the fundamental musts for authentic leadership, personal relationships, and I don’t mean romantic ones! If only we could just grasp the fact that relationships are learning opportunities which increase the opportunity for authentic leadership, then we would create a much better world and lay the way for much more effective and caring authentic leadership.

For me, some of the authentic leadership lessons, human relationships hold are:

  • Learning that love comes from within, and is not lost even when another is not around – find the love within despite what is happening outside.
  • That we hate in others the capacity or capability of that trait in ourselves – Forgive others.  and yourself if you manage to see the potential or even the behaviour in you.
  • People feel what you are thinking about them, even if they aren’t consciously aware and so honesty is vital – Examine your thought behaviours and patterns as if they were transparent.
  • We often project our own script onto others – True listening and open-mindedness is essential to hearing others and understanding who they are.
  • Fear makes us want to attack and we fear being attacked – heal the fear and learn to trust one’s own self first.
  • Everyone is equally as valuable – without exception. Yes some people do bad things and I am not minimising that, and some people do heroically brilliant things. At the heart of who we are we all have some good, some bad and the extent of the love or fear we allow in our lives dictates our behaviour.
  • Perceptions are not fixed, in any given situation they can change. How we perceive others cannot ever be wholly accurate and therefore not to be trusted as an absolute authority.
  • Withholding judgment of others doesn’t mean not getting out of harm’s way.
  • We are interdependent, no “man” is an island
  • Love is the force which we always uncover if we are open to it.

In the workplace, while relationships may not be so intensely reflected as in the above examples, the principals still hold true. Authentic leadership,  can flourish when it is know:

  • All roles in the workplace are important and everyone is valuable for the part they play. On a human level everyone is equally as valuable.
  • People of different abilities and skills will come and go in the workplace equal to the growth of the organisation. Appreciating that there should be healthy relationships for past, present and future employees are essential.
  • The quality of the way teams and individuals view and speak about each other in the workplace needs work and attention. Relationship building should be pivotal in growing and succeeding in the business.
  • People will live up to the leaders expectations of them.  When operating from authentic leadership, the best is expected.
  • Communication strategies have to be honest, authentic and two way.
  • People must be encouraged to learn about themselves and others with a view to widening understanding.

Relationships are one of the cornerstones of authentic leadership, badging these as “soft skills” simply isn’t tenable any longer. They are HARD, emotionally charged lessons to learn, but if we have the courage to get into that particular class, and truly learn those skills then the rewards will be huge.

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

10 Ways to Get Focused When You Simply Have Too Much To Do

 

10 Tips on How to get Focused When Multi- tasking

I don’t know about you but I do struggle at times to feel in control when my “to-do-list” is over the page. Unfortunately while mindlessly reacting, I’ve developed an almost comic strip routine, a little like starting a new healthy eating regime, it only lasts a few days and then old habits usually take over. The routine goes like this: I draw up a new to-do-list; I prioritise it, and start working through it. What usually happens is an emergency occurs, or something unexpected becomes the priority of the day, and my carefully planned prioritisation goes out of the window. I spend a day or two trying to get through some bulk volume work, spend unplanned evenings catching up and then the whole cycle starts again.

My 16 year old son has just started into 6th form, for a lad who simply hates homework, at least 16 hours of it each week is a big stretch; it’s a whole new paradigm shift for him, one which already into the 2nd week has become a source of stress. Of course he has to build habits which are going to help him to avoid being stressed. As I was giving him some advice about how to focus, I realised it was about time to take my own advice. So here I am writing this blog (on time) because yesterday, I began the process of practicing what I preached. I have heard many times that you learn best what you teach, so I thought in that spirit, I would share my advice with you! If you are ultra-organised and can add to the list, please do share!  Any advice will help me I’m sure.

Ten ways to get focused :

1. Turn off the technology

With an array of teenage social media such as Snap chat, Instagram, Face book and IM, my son’s phone pretty much pings constantly. For me, my guilty time waster is to open emails when they ping into my inbox on my desk or laptop. This idea is as old as the first installed workplace computer, we all know we have to do it, but it takes some discipline and determination to ignore our ever increasing online communications.

2. Do one thing at a time

I know, I know it’s not rocket science, but I do flit about from project to project at times. My son started some Psychology homework, got stuck and instead of getting over the “difficult hurdle” he put it down and started something else. Doing one thing at a time means doing it from start to finish, without being distracted with something else. To actually do this takes determination and concentration, but it is well worth it as even difficult tasks get ticked off.

3. Diarise non urgent tasks a month ahead

If you have a million things to do and half of them are routine and definitely not going to be urgent in the next week or so, then diarise them a month in the future. I know it doesn’t get them off your list, but it gets them off your list for now. For me, it is like a breath of fresh air to know I don’t have to give those routine items a priority, and if I do happen to get up to date, I can always reach forward and get those things done and feel even more virtuous!

4. Chunk down daunting tasks

My son had his first 1000 word essay to do; he was daunted to say the least (while I tactfully kept quiet about the 10k and 20k feats which might come if he goes onto higher education). If you are daunted by the size of the task, then chunk it down into manageable tasks. Put each smaller task into a series of priorities and complete each one in order. It is easier to concentrate on a task if you know it’s only going to take an hour or so, than when you know it’s going to take a couple of days.

5. Have a purpose

When I have a mundane, but a priority task to do, I need a good purpose. So for example, when I got my tax return done earlier this month, I had to remind myself that if I got it done, not only would it not be hovering over me, like the ghost of Christmas Past, but I would be able to completely get focused on tasks I really love and enjoy. My son had to remind himself that he wanted to spend some of his weekend playing football and going out with friends, and not have to do homework instead. Having big picture purposes can help too, although tend not to be so effective, as small ones. At the moment, my son has a vision for his future, so he needs to remind himself that by focusing now, it will help him achieve his goals.

6. Don’t do it

Ok, this tip isn’t about focus, but getting rid of unnecessary or habitual tasks helps to get you focused on the important and necessary tasks. If you can’t find a good reason to do it, other than, you always do, or its part of your routine, or you’re scared to let it go, then stop.

7. Be in the right environment

We are lucky because we have a spare bedroom which my son is now using as his study. It means he can shut the door and escape from the hub-bub of the rest of the house. If you are in a busy office and can’t concentrate for interruptions and activity around you, then go somewhere else. I managed a busy office with over 80 employees on site, and as my door was wide open, I had a constant queue of people coming to see me. During one particular crisis we encountered, I was struggling to pull together an urgent report, when one of my dear team members, marched over, popped her head round the door and said, “excuse me, but this is for your own good”, and she shut the door and taped a “Do not disturb” sign on my door. Yes I should have done it myself of course, but being in reactive mode can sometimes be a lifelong habit.

8. Take a break

If you get to a point where you are finding it hard going, take a break. Taking a break does not mean checking your phone or emails, it is about going to get a coffee, getting some fresh air or even practicing a five minute mediation. It is about quieting your mind, not populating it with fresh information

9. Establish a routine.

If you are a morning person then getting through your priority tasks should be done as soon as you get to your desk, or as soon as you can. You know what times of the day you are most productive, don’t waste those times on routine non urgent tasks, reserve them for the things you really need to do to make a difference. Once you’ve established your time zone, then stick to it and make it a habit as prevalent as brushing your teeth.

10. Borrow tips

My tenth tip is borrowed from a great mentor of mine, the eminently successful Peter Thomson, who is the UK’s most prolific Information Product Creator. So sorry, I don’t want to steal Peter’s thunder, so you will have to wait for this one, as I have interviewed Peter for the next issue of our monthly E-Zine “The Extra MILE” where he tells readers all about his work and in amongst his great advice he also shares his brilliantly simple tip to help people get things done, which is brilliantly effective! Do visit our website, and sign up for the E-zine to be sent directly to your inbox so you don’t miss out on Peter’s sage advice.

Get our great new flipbook “30 Days To A More Motivated Team” when you sign up to receive regular updates from the e.MILE Community. Come find more about Leadership Development and our Great e.MILE Community (Motivate, Inspire, Lead and Engage). We love connecting with like-minded people, and we want to help you either get your message out, or you can search the directory for the expertise you need.

Focused

 

 

 

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

3 Ways We Block Success

Three Ways We Block Success

I’ve often wondered why people don’t as a rule live up to their potential:

People with fabulous skills who for many reasons don’t feel the need to use them. A great friend of mine has the interior designer skill of Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen. She tirelessly attacks her house like painting the Forth Bridge, where she just finishes designing and changing her final room, then starts again. Her imagination, flair and precision to detail and colour are amazing. She makes her living from a completely different profession, one which she contributes greatly, but is hard work and low paid. A few years ago I asked her why she didn’t take her outstanding design skills to the next level, get paid for it, and become a success. I realised there was a lot at stake when she gave me about 15 resounding reasons why not.

I wasn’t surprised, and I know enough never to judge another person’s destiny or life, but I’ve seen it again and again, when hidden talents are just that: hidden away and not acted upon.

When researching for my degree dissertation, one of the questions I asked about 100 people was: “If you had all the money you wanted and there were no obstacles, would you be doing what you do now?” I can’t remember the exact figures, but it was in the 80%+ bracket of those interviewed who said “no. They wouldn’t”. When I asked them what they would do instead, some had startling clear ideas, some had a bit of an idea and others didn’t know, what they were sure of though was it wasn’t what they did right now.

It’s not just about making use of our talent and skills, many of us (me included) procrastinate, and talk about the fact that “we should get more sleep” or “we should lose those extra pounds” or “we need to stop working so hard, spend time with the family, take that holiday we’ve always dreamed about. I imagine you can add to the list.

I’m listening to the audio version of “” (2009) a co-authored book by Deepak ChopraDebbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. The three authors describe their unique perspectives of how our unconscious or our shadow affects us all. For those on a spiritual path, the book is a must, for those of you who aren’t  there is still many great psychological principles which are useful to understand if you want to really be your true self.

In the book, Debbie Ford describes how our shadow dictates our behaviour at times and how we need to look within to harness and direct what can be an unconscious destructive power. The problem of course, is, if we are being driven by an unconscious force, then we don’t know about it and are in denial! Our shadow is made up of all the characteristics, feelings, memories and traits we want to bury away and forget. The problem is, when such episodes are repressed then, they don’t go away and resurface in a number of destructive ways.

I have done enough reflection and work on myself to have experienced the sweet release when you face up to a painful or shameful memory, and come to terms with it, and so recognise the healing power of looking at our shadow, although it doesn’t make it any easier, and there is always something to look at! It is very much a lifelong journey.

In the workplace, again and again, I’ve seen characters who had potential to be a success, who at the last minute would do something to jeopardise their progress. I saw people yearning for a different lifestyle, not extraordinary outrageous changes, just simple ones, but forever keeping it out of their reach. There are many ways we sabotage our success, but for me these are the 3 most prevalent.

 

  1. Repressing painful memories, which make us fearful to move forward, or keep us locked in unsatisfying and dead-end relationships.

Not facing up to our inner pain seems like a good strategy. Who wants to feel pain? Of course we don’t. Allowing ourselves to work through pain heals and releases us from unnecessary suffering. The main reason we hold onto unnecessary pain, is that we have interpreted the pain we are feeling to mean something about us. “He left because I wasn’t good enough”, or,” he lost his job because he is just one of life’s losers” We bury the pain, because we cannot bear to face the incorrect interpretation we have arrived at.

  1. Allowing fear to prevent us from taking our talents to where they can benefit and help others.

Many of us live in our comfort zone and facing fears is part of growing and living. When I asked my friend why she didn’t want to take her interior design skills and get paid for her obvious talent, one of the many reasons she stated, was: “Who would want someone of my age to design their houses?” (She was in her mid-40’s at the time). What this response and many others amount to, one of our many human foibles is that many of us just don’t feel good enough. The truth is of course, that we are all good enough, and we don’t have to be perfect.

  1. Claiming inappropriate guilt when we have honored ourselves.

My friends got together many years ago, leaving their respective spouses. They had kids, and it was a terrible guilt-gut wrenching time for all involved. A couple of years ago, my friends realised that guilt was still dictating their lives, when their children were all stretching them to the limit and causing havoc. Although they didn’t realise it, they were not drawing appropriate boundaries and limits because they felt guilty. One of the ex-spouses had never married again, proclaiming that their life had been ruined. This spectre of blame and guilt over- shadowed the lives of the long married pair. When removing oneself from a poor relationship, it is a way of honoring oneself. That is not to say there should not be respect, kindness and consideration for the other partner who may not want the split; certainly if you want to move on from a relationship, you have to take responsibility. But how long should you wear that hair shirt? Of course, it benefits no-one and especially those children, who needed to understand that sometimes, life’s like that. Once they realised their guilt was governing their lives, they made some big changes, and months later, much happier children, and a much happier family life was achieved.

At work too, the collective shadow can come into play, keeping great potential cloaked in an unhappy comfort zone, creating conflict and affecting the success of the team. Organisations carry their own stories of guilt, repression of feelings and fear. That’s why story-telling and re-framing the past as well as stories about the vision for the future is so important for businesses.

 

Get our great new flipbook “30 Days To A More Motivated Team” when you sign up to receive regular updates from the e.MILE Community. Come find more about Leadership Development and our Great e.MILE Community (Motivate, Inspire, Lead and Engage). We love connecting with like-minded people, and we want to help you either get your message out, or you can search the directory for the expertise you need.

Christina has managed people for twenty seven years and led hugely successful teams. She has worked with people at all levels in various organisations to help them achieve their potential, and she has been actively involved in the learning and development field in a number of different roles.People Discovery is a Leadership Development coaching consultancy, based in North East England, working globally. The e.MILE Community is a networking, sharing and business directory for people who know “there must be a better way”By Christina LattimerFollow us on
 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Leaders Make Mistakes Too – 5 Steps to Redeem a Potentially Fatal Error

Mistakes pictureRepeated mistakes are no longer sustainable

Ethics, morality and values based leadership are high on any thought leaders agenda right now. Realisation that materialism, self-gain and profit above ethics is no longer tenable, means leaders now have to be really clear their organisational and personal values, not only have to match, but must be demonstrated on a day-to day basis.

The public outcry in response to the face book status, made by Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In Editor, , is a stark demonstration of how questionable values can destroy trust.

For readers who have not yet followed this undoubtedly viral story, Jessica Bennett’s status invited applications for an “unpaid intern” with a description of the desired skill set and expectations in terms of the intern’s availability.

The response was immediate, with the majority of responders expressing “disgust” at the decision to attempt to get unpaid help, while Lean In’s purpose to promote and foster equality in the workplace, appears to be compromised. To make matters worse, it seems, Sheryl Sandberg’s widely reported sale of  $91 Million Worth Of Facebook Stock”  would suggest the founder of the organisation is not short of a bob or two.

Some brave responders disagreed and suggested the opportunity to gain the experience Lean In could offer would so benefit the intern that to work for free was a “gift”.

At the time of writing Sheryl Sandberg had yet to respond, while the Los Angeles Times, published a a short statement from Lean In.  “Andrea Saul, a spokeswoman for Lean In, said in a statement: “LeanIn.Org, like many non-profits, has enjoyed the participation of part-time volunteers to help us advance our education and peer support programs.”

Whatever the intention behind the Facebook status, the announcement has not only caused readers to question Lean In’s organisational values, but also demonstrates how different perspectives and views take on a life of their own and can call into question the values of the leader.

The problem with values at work is that actions always speak louder than words. Leaders who say one thing while doing another are simply creating an environment of distrust and division. Care needs to be taken that all actions are aligned to fundamental values. This is true not only when public announcements take place, but when internal decisions are being taken. Every action is conveyed out, and note will be taken, whether the leader likes it or not.

For Lean In, there may be a number of valid explanations for calling to recruit unpaid people to work for the organisation, but lack of clarification or communication is allowing people to simply make up their own minds. At best, this is a badly worded gaffe. At worst, it demonstrates a lack of commitment to organisational values and therefore calls into question the effectiveness of the aims of the organisation.

Like it or not, if you are a leader, there are going to be times when you either communicate inadequately or simply make a wrong call.

I’ve made many mistakes in my time, and the incident which springs to mind, happened only a few years ago.

I had worked hard with my team to foster a culture of inclusion and collaboration, making sure everyone was heard and had a say, where it was appropriate to do so. I also wanted to offer a service to our customers that was second to none, and the team was tasked to develop a strategy to do so.

Ever an opportunist, while this process was going on I got the chance to sign the entire team up for accredited customer service training for peanuts, as the training provider had access to grant funding. After a pretty unscheduled demonstration I signed on the dotted line, thinking I had bagged a brilliant bargain and a great opportunity for my team.

As soon as I made the announcement, I realised of course, I had made a tremendous gaffe. Notwithstanding the training and assignment time was completely in work-time, notwithstanding the team were going to get a recognised qualification, as well as learn the skills of brilliant customer service, all for a price which hardly made a dent in our ever pressed budget; I had violated at least three fundamental values, which I had been at pains to stress over the months I had worked with the team. The first one was simply to communicate with them, the second, to consult with them about major decisions which affected them and the third was to allow them to develop the overall customer service strategy, and take ownership of it.

Thankfully they took me to task about my actions in no uncertain terms. I was within a hairsbreadth of losing their trust forever. I knew my intentions were good, but I also knew I had to do something honest and with integrity to make matters right. The following framework can be applied to most situations, although they may come in different orders depending on the impact of the gaffe.

Admit you were wrong and apologise. I told them I was sorry, and honestly explained that in my enthusiasm to capture what I thought was an amazing opportunity, I had acted too quickly.

Set out your original intention. I wanted to be able to help my team develop exceptional customer service skills. I wasn’t expecting them to study or attend workshops outside of working hours. I also wanted to give them an externally recognisable qualification so it added to their bank of transferable skills. Most of the time, we do make decisions with the best of intentions, even if we haven’t thought through the entirety of our actions. Without being defensive, it is part of being honest to describe your reasons for making the decision.  If well-intentioned then your reasoning is a valid factor.

Get Feedback. It’s no good forging on and making good without really listening to what your team are saying. If you want to make things right, you cannot assume anything. When I first heard objections to the proposal for training, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the team just didn’t want to commit. Luckily enough I had enough experience to realise this probably wasn’t the case.  When I realised it was because they thought I had tread on their space and usurped their decision making powers, I could not but be grateful that the very values I had tried to introduce were alive and well.

Understand Your Bottom Line. Sometimes good decisions are made in the wrong way, and the outcome is un-negotiable. At other times, there are some options, where some compromise can be made and then you can find a solution within those parameters. In some cases, you just have to put your hands up and ditch your decision. In this situation, having listened to team members, I gave them back their decision making power, and made entry onto the course optional; although it was understood we had to find a way to help those not undertaking the training to find a way to meet the aspirational standards we needed. As it happens every one undertook the training (and passed!).

Make Amends. The customer service you remember is when the provider or supplier goes the extra mile. Things may go horribly wrong, but it is how the supplier deals with the situation that you remember best. It is the same with making a gaffe. It is how you subsequently deal with it which is at the heart of your redemption. As well as all of the above steps, in this case, I asked the team how they wanted to interact with me in the future, to make sure they were fully informed about potential developments and also that I consulted with them. I committed to this and made sure I followed up with my promise because I realised how tenuously close I had been in losing trust.

No doubt it will become apparent what the intentions behind the “Lean In” situation are in reality. It may be decided to quietly withdraw the post and make no announcement. I sincerely hope though they follow the 5 steps above or take similar action to deal with their gaffe.

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

6 Practical Ways Managers Can Motivate Their Team

6 Practical Ways Managers Can Motivate Their Team

As a young and inexperienced manager, one of my earliest recollections was a challenge by an equally young and inexperienced member of staff. He was popular and influential and he decided that he was going to make life as difficult as he could for me.With little support from anyone experienced, I pondered my options, and worried that day by day my effectiveness as a manager was being diminished by what felt like, his sabotage. One day my dithering was over when after taking an overly extended and extremely inconvenient lunch break he swanned back into office and when I asked to have a quick word, he swore at me in front of the team.

It was a defining moment for me on a number of fronts, the most vital being the consequences of putting off taking decisive action on a team members behaviour well before it reached critical point. Secondly the subsequent events determined a path I was to tread and refine over the years.

What happened in that moment was I realised I wasn’t going to get anywhere if I didn’t harness the commitment and respect of my team. Nor would they work well unless I demanded and expected the best of who they were.

Once we got over the formality of the strong warning he received, I decided to be wholly frank and I explained the effect his behaviour was having, and at the same time I also expressed my disappointment that he was selling himself short. I managed to get him to talk about his future and what he wanted and most importantly painted a vivid picture of where his behaviour was headed and asked him if that was what he wanted. Of course he didn’t. His behaviour changed from that day, and we never looked back. It took him about 5 years, and we had long since lost touch, but when I read he had been appointed to the role he had at that time told me he would love to do, I had to smile.

Whenever I have interviewed managers and asked what they do to motivate their team, the answer to this question displays a manager’s level of self-awareness and confidence about what makes people tick. Often, great motivators are unconscious of the gifts they have as they are natural people managers, or conversely they have made a conscious decision to develop a good understanding of people, and be open and willing to learn what they have to do to get the best out of their team.

If you are a manager and are not sure how to motivate your people, here are 6 practical ways you can improve levels of engagement and increase the commitment and enthusiasm of your team.

  1. People are either “towards” or “away” motivated. “Towards” motivated people need to have their own vision for themselves (hopefully linked to the company vision, but not always), and once they have a picture of what they want then they will work hard to achieve that vision. For these people, your job is to help them develop a personal vision within the company.
  2. With “away” motivated people, you need to be able to help them articulate what they don’t want, so necessary actions can be taken to move away from these possibilities. These people fear the consequences of not taking appropriate action or making much needed changes. Your job is to help them develop the necessary drivers for change. For example, they may feel motivated because they don’t want to get left behind or their jobs may disappear.
  3. People thrive on being able to make decisions and feeling in control. As a manager you can support people by allowing them as much autonomy as you can. The best way is to agree outcome based objectives or goals, without being too prescriptive about “how” outcomes will be achieved. Give your team permission to try different ways and allow them to “fail and learn”.
  4. Instead of having team meetings, hold team “problem solving sessions”, or “driving up performance sessions”. Encourage your team members to have a say in how collective issues, problems or challenges are approached and solved.
  5. Celebrate success. There is no doubt, what you focus on is what you get. If you continually focus on what goes wrong, then you will encounter more of what goes wrong. By celebrating success both as a team and with individuals, you will find more and more to celebrate. Successes can be a range of things. Encourage team members to note when things are going well and when they feel good about something they have achieved, no matter how small, it may seem.
  6. Think, say and act as if you believe the best in your team. Develop a mind-set whereby you believe that people are doing their best and will do better when they know better. Tell people what you appreciate about their contribution, and find ways to internally and externally communicate your belief in them. If things go wrong, then focus on the lessons to be learned, and don’t personalise behaviour.

Never expect less than the best, and eventually that is precisely what you will get with your team. When you expect and respond positively to great contribution and good outcomes; mediocre and lack lustre performance, or performers will slowly but surely fade away.

If you’d like to find out more about Leadership Development and the work we do at People Discovery, then read our great new monthly Ezine:  Issue 2 is out now! 

Why not sign up to get your  free copy direct to your mail box and when we send you your first issue, we will also send you a copy of our free E-book The Best Business Advice I Ever Received!

Come and join our Challenge: A collaborative work of genius for everyone to join in.

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Need to Find Inspiration? – 5 ways to get in the Zone

 163145340Need Inspiration ?

I work best when I’m inspired. What do I mean by inspired? For me, it is a feeling of “all’s well” with the world: A certainty that nothing is going to go wrong and what I am doing is meant to be. When I am inspired, time ceases to matter and I can be working with focus and complete attention for what seems like minutes and a few hours have passed. Idea’s flow and they are easy to implement. I don’t actually think about much, I am just being, and moving forward. Some people call it being in “flow”. I call it being in the Zone.

Some years ago, I found myself struggling to define “quality” beyond the routine service level agreements, when making improvements to our customer service offer. It was easy to set standards in terms of timing and behaviours for example, it was less easy to define when they were met; but the quality wasn’t good.

The easiest way I found I could communicate quality in this context was to describe what it wasn’t. So for example. If a product was returned, or customers had to ring up for information we could have given them beforehand. If we got feedback which indicated we weren’t meeting on unwritten expectations, for example, an attitude by an employee, or not giving the right information at the right time.

Inspiration is like that, difficult to define or put into words and often easier to describe when inspiration is lacking. So for example: I am definitely not in the Zone when:

  • I feel de-motivated
  • I am resistant to moving forward
  • Time is dragging or worse I feel bored
  • What I am doing seems like a chore
  • I feel tired and stressed
  • I am overwhelmed or discouraged.
  • I’m easily distracted

Like being happy, being inspired takes some practice. Mostly, you can’t simply choose to be and feel inspired at will, you have to create the conditions which lead to an inspired state. Everyone will have a different way of doing this, but if you don’t know how to create those conditions then it might be worth your while to find out what works for you.

Over the years, I have developed a way of getting into my Inspiration “Zone” and here are some activities which I hope can help you reach an inspired state.

  1. Writing early in the morning immediately after waking is a powerful practice. It is a great way to capture those early morning inspirational ideas and thoughts which often hit, like no other time in the day. Do this before you do anything else, yes even before that morning cuppa, otherwise the “spell” is broken, and you will begin to worry about your day to day schedule, or whatever is on your mind at the time.
  2. If you are feeling fairly negative and need to get into the Zone, then find a comfortable place and stop thinking. No;I didn’t say stop breathing! Although when I suggest this to some, you would think I had indicated such a drastic step. This is a great technique if you have to go into a meeting or an event and you want to be in an inspired state. Instead of thinking about it, just stop thinking. This might involve just observing any thoughts you might have, but not actively engaging with them. It’s a mini meditation which should only last for about 5 minutes or so. Practicing “not thinking” is like giving your tired bombarded mind a mini holiday. It also allows the inspired part of you to shine through. Like sun rays streaming through a cloudy sky.
  3. Take some time out and spend it doing something you love. That might be spending time with family, reading, exercising, or just watching a good old movie. It’s always good to do this, but be warned, if you take your de-motivated or distracted self with you, then you will negate the benefits. You must completely and utterly allow yourself to give your full attention to the activity, and the good feelings which you connect with.
  4. Listen to music. Whether it’s up-beat rousing music, slow, ballads, or indeed anything which appeals to you at the time. Listening to music clears away negativity and if given attention and focus, helps change your state positively.
  5. A state which completely minimises inspiration is when you are cluttered or overwhelmed, whether with things to do, or physical disorder around you. To keep clear and allow the inspiration to flow, take a good inventory of your things to do list, and delete anything less than essential. You must be ruthless. Ruthlessness is also a must when you are getting rid of physical clutter either at home or at work. If you haven’t touched it in 6 months, then you need to ask yourself whether you are going to use it. All clutter and unnecessary tasks are doing to you is keeping you weighted down.

What are your top tips to become inspired?

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

The 5 Deadly Temptations of Specialness Great Leaders Avoid

MBTIThe desire for specialness is often unconscious

Being a great leader is paradoxical. Leaders have to be pretty special people to be great, although in order to be great they fundamentally understand that everyone is the same. We are either all special or all ordinary.In group work, I invariably ask people to give me an example of a great leader. This isn’t always easy. Quite often people quote some of the greats in history, like Lincoln, Churchill, or perhaps Ghandi, or even Luther King Jr. Sometimes they will tell about one of their parents or even a great friend. Not many are able to easily bring examples of great leaders at work.

I expect there are many reasons why there is a dearth of great leaders at work, but one common thread I believe helps leaders fall short of being great in the workplace is that of falling into the temptation of specialness.

Whenever I ask people what they like to see in their leaders, many will talk about values or behaviours. They want leaders to be open, transparent, and fair; or they want them to be decisive, innovative and successful. Easy you would think? But actually leaders don’t have to be monumentally poor to find themselves out of favour with their people. They just have to, on occasion; succumb to the temptation of specialness.

Specialness can come in many forms, and it’s always a way of saying; one person matters more than another; or one person deserves more than another. Well you might be thinking, isn’t that the case? Well if you are, then you are experiencing a dose of specialness.

Specialness is the mistaken belief that we are different, and there are hierarchies of importance in the world. In reality though, it is not true.  We are all simply manifesting different experiences and believing and acting in different ways, with different outcomes.

But what about the lazy worker who comes in and doesn’t do anything, compared to the worker who works 24/7 and gets great results? You might ask.  Well one may be acting in ways which are in the best interests of the organisation, and one might not be. But that doesn’t make one person more special than another. Not at their core and not as a person.

There may be a million reasons that person doesn’t pull their weight as much as the other. There may also be a million reasons why the worker who works 24/7 is doing so. The trick is of course not to treat people differently, but to respond to their behaviours differently. There is a subtle difference.

To illustrate here are 5 common ways leaders give in to the insidious habit of specialism, and in so doing they diminish the “greatness” they can be.

  1. Favouritism

We all like people who are like ourselves, especially when we can clearly see our best attributes in others. There are also people we don’t like so much or who make us uncomfortable. More often than not, we are most uncomfortable when we can see things in other people which we do not like about ourselves. In both cases we are making judgements about other people and indeed ourselves. At work, we need to be aware of our prejudices no matter how mild they may seem. Leaders often fall into favouritism when they form attitudes about people based on how much they like them. They stop being kind, factual, open and transparent and their views can be biased and weighted towards people they like better.

  1. Special favours

A friend of mine was talking about the CEO who had been in the job for a few months. I had listened to her commentary about him before. It had always been complimentary and enthusiastic. However on this occasion, her tone was one of disappointment. Their company was involved in delivering specific services, the levels of which depended on certain criteria. It had become widely known that the CEO had decided to open up a level of service to someone who didn’t qualify, simply because they were viewed as an important person with clout. In one small but incredibly public decision his reputation had become tainted.

  1. Hidden Bonuses

Great leaders will always have a good solid recognition strategy in place. Some actions might be monetary and some may be non-financial rewards. What I have encountered many times are monetary based bonus systems which have no particular criteria and are conferred in secret.

A friend of mine told me gleefully about a hefty bonus she had received for navigating a particularly difficult downsizing strategy. She had however been told to keep it quiet. I asked her why, and she said that if it was known that she had been rewarded for making people redundant, employees would not be happy. Although there seemed to be some logic in this, to me it said a lot about the integrity of the leader, and also demonstrated a lack of understanding about how to manage an effective reward strategy.

  1. Creating a  Valued Role Hierarchy

I worked with a lady who used to work in a major high street store. She had happily worked there for many years. For her and some of her colleagues, the end came quite quickly as many of the team looked for and secured new jobs with different companies in response to a change in strategy by the company.

On the face of it, the change looked fairly sensible in that they decided to give bonuses to their sales people. Under the surface it was one of the most divisive and disruptive moves they had made. What happened was they created a hierarchy of importance, with a disproportionate reward to certain people. The sales support people were not adequately rewarded for their part in the process; and distrust and discontent set in. This dynamic can also be seen where “professional” and “support” employees are given a different status in an organisation.

  1. Excluding people.

Again and again I have seen people be excluded by senior leaders because they are particularly challenging, or simply have different views or beliefs. It can be unnecessarily difficult if you have such a person on your team, but if they are good at their job and are performing well, then their views should be welcomed with open arms. The act of exclusion is more of a statement about the fear of the excluder. Exclusion can be about only inviting certain opinions; not inviting people to meetings; not giving credit for a job well done; blocking promotion; creating succession plans which exclude people with unnecessary criteria.

To counteract such temptations, leaders must develop their own self-awareness and listen to and invite feedback from others. The temptation of specialness challenges all of us, not just leaders, and can sometimes be difficult to recognise or pinpoint. The following values or behaviours can minimise the temptation and keep any great leader on the right track.

  • Be open and transparent with everyone
  • Be kind to all, even those who seem difficult
  • Tackle poor performance or conduct, not personalities
  • Focus on commonalities not differences
  • Accept instead of judge
  • Be comfortable feeling uncomfortable
  • Have a systematic and inclusive approach to reward and recognition
  • Develop Self awareness
  • Understanding your own biases
 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Take Another Look : How Your Perception Is Changing Your World

 

78491057I’ve wanted to write an article on perception for a long time, and for a while, until today, the words haven’t come.

Today I had a big personal breakthrough when I was able to see something I had long viewed in a certain way, differently. I feel differently and I know that my experience, has, and will change. The reason we need to understand the way our perception shapes our world is because if we want to experience something different, the change must come from within.

Some time ago a friend of mine, in mid-life, lost her job. She didn’t even see it coming. One day she walked into her workplace and was told, along with the rest of the workforce, that she no longer had a job. After a few weeks she decided to set up a business on her own. After only 18 months she gave up and went to work for a local business in a role which didn’t really reflect her expertise or indeed her valuable experience. A year into the job she came to me for some help.

Describing how she felt, she said she had “lost her mojo”. After some unravelling we got back to the day she lost her job. On the day of the “bombshell”, she took herself off for a walk, numb and stunned, her thoughts went along the lines of “Why me?” “What has gone wrong?” “How am I going to manage?”

Knowing how her family relied on her salary she felt like a failure and even up to the day we discussed the situation, she wondered why this catastrophic change in her life had happened.

She had attempted to pick herself up, starting the new business and then latterly with the new job, but she had lost something valuable inside and her and faith had been severely shattered.

During the conversation, I suggested that some people after the initial shock may have thought “Yippee” I can now explore something else, I can use my unique talents I have to do something great with my life”. She looked at me as if I had gone mad, and I could see she thought I was probably out of touch with reality.

But that is the real problem. We think the reality we see and how we interpret it, must be right. But in any given situation, we can look again and interpret it in a different way.

I realised many years ago that the world I was seeing was a reflection of my perceptions. When I was a young single mother I felt unsupported and alone. I had lots of friends and family, but I always perceived them to have busy lives and asking them for help was a big deal for me, so I rarely did it.

Unwittingly, I was fulfilling my perception of: “I am pretty much on my own, and if I need anything, I had better do it myself, because others are too busy to help”. After many months of feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and alone; a back problem forced me to ask for help.

At first it was difficult and uncomfortable; I felt I was imposing my own problems on others. But after a while, something magic happened. I began to see that people around me, cared about me, and wanted to help.

When I asked people for support they overdid the support they gave me. I saw that when people were helping me, they felt connected and were happier helping me than watching me struggle alone.

I finally realised with a great big light bulb moment, that my outworn perception had unwittingly kept others at a distance and not only was my perception wrong, but my need to be right kept my perception in place even when I desperately needed to see things in another way.

When my friend and I started talking about the choices we have and how we can see things in a different way, she realised losing the job was not a personal indictment on her. She eventually also saw she had been holding on to a faulty perception of the job loss and this faulty perception was affecting her life every day.

She decided to look at the situation differently and came to the conclusion it had nothing to do with her, it was simply a change in her life, albeit an unexpected one. I recently received an email from her. She told me that she was becoming quite an expert at switching her perceptions and most importantly, she had her mojo back!

 

Join us on this amazing journey!

This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

121242255

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.