3 Ways We Block Success

SuccessThree Ways We Block Success

I’ve often wondered why people don’t as a rule live up to their potential:

People with fabulous skills who for many reasons don’t feel the need to use them. A great friend of mine has the interior designer skill of Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen. She tirelessly attacks her house like painting the Forth Bridge, where she just finishes designing and changing her final room, then starts again. Her imagination, flair and precision to detail and colour are amazing. She makes her living from a completely different profession, one which she contributes greatly, but is hard work and low paid. A few years ago I asked her why she didn’t take her outstanding design skills to the next level, get paid for it, and become a success. I realised there was a lot at stake when she gave me about 15 resounding reasons why not.

I wasn’t surprised, and I know enough never to judge another person’s destiny or life, but I’ve seen it again and again, when hidden talents are just that: hidden away and not acted upon.

When researching for my degree dissertation, one of the questions I asked about 100 people was: “If you had all the money you wanted and there were no obstacles, would you be doing what you do now?” I can’t remember the exact figures, but it was in the 80%+ bracket of those interviewed who said “no. They wouldn’t”. When I asked them what they would do instead, some had startling clear ideas, some had a bit of an idea and others didn’t know, what they were sure of though was it wasn’t what they did right now.

It’s not just about making use of our talent and skills, many of us (me included) procrastinate, and talk about the fact that “we should get more sleep” or “we should lose those extra pounds” or “we need to stop working so hard, spend time with the family, take that holiday we’ve always dreamed about. I imagine you can add to the list.

I’m listening to the audio version of “” (2009) a co-authored book by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. The three authors describe their unique perspectives of how our unconscious or our shadow affects us all. For those on a spiritual path, the book is a must, for those of you who aren’t  there is still many great psychological principles which are useful to understand if you want to really be your true self.

In the book, Debbie Ford describes how our shadow dictates our behaviour at times and how we need to look within to harness and direct what can be an unconscious destructive power. The problem of course, is, if we are being driven by an unconscious force, then we don’t know about it and are in denial! Our shadow is made up of all the characteristics, feelings, memories and traits we want to bury away and forget. The problem is, when such episodes are repressed then, they don’t go away and resurface in a number of destructive ways.

I have done enough reflection and work on myself to have experienced the sweet release when you face up to a painful or shameful memory, and come to terms with it, and so recognise the healing power of looking at our shadow, although it doesn’t make it any easier, and there is always something to look at! It is very much a lifelong journey.

In the workplace, again and again, I’ve seen characters who had potential to be a success, who at the last minute would do something to jeopardise their progress. I saw people yearning for a different lifestyle, not extraordinary outrageous changes, just simple ones, but forever keeping it out of their reach. There are many ways we sabotage our success, but for me these are the 3 most prevalent.

1.  Repressing painful memories, which make us fearful to move forward, or keep us locked in unsatisfying and dead-end relationships.

Not facing up to our inner pain seems like a good strategy. Who wants to feel pain? Of course we don’t. Allowing ourselves to work through pain heals and releases us from unnecessary suffering. The main reason we hold onto unnecessary pain, is that we have interpreted the pain we are feeling to mean something about us. “He left because I wasn’t good enough”, or,” he lost his job because he is just one of life’s losers” We bury the pain, because we cannot bear to face the incorrect interpretation we have arrived at.

2. Allowing fear to prevent us from taking our talents to where they can benefit and help others.

Many of us live in our comfort zone and facing fears is part of growing and living. When I asked my friend why she didn’t want to take her interior design skills and get paid for her obvious talent, one of the many reasons she stated, was: “Who would want someone of my age to design their houses?” (She was in her mid-40’s at the time). What this response and many others amount to, one of our many human foibles is that many of us just don’t feel good enough. The truth is of course, that we are all good enough, and we don’t have to be perfect.

3. Claiming inappropriate guilt when we have honored ourselves.

My friends got together many years ago, leaving their respective spouses. They had kids, and it was a terrible guilt-gut wrenching time for all involved. A couple of years ago, my friends realised that guilt was still dictating their lives, when their children were all stretching them to the limit and causing havoc. Although they didn’t realise it, they were not drawing appropriate boundaries and limits because they felt guilty. One of the ex-spouses had never married again, proclaiming that their life had been ruined. This spectre of blame and guilt over- shadowed the lives of the long married pair. When removing oneself from a poor relationship, it is a way of honoring oneself. That is not to say there should not be respect, kindness and consideration for the other partner who may not want the split; certainly if you want to move on from a relationship, you have to take responsibility. But how long should you wear that hair shirt? Of course, it benefits no-one and especially those children, who needed to understand that sometimes, life’s like that. Once they realised their guilt was governing their lives, they made some big changes, and months later, much happier children, and a much happier family life was achieved.

At work too, the collective shadow can come into play, keeping great potential cloaked in an unhappy comfort zone, creating conflict and affecting the success of the team. Organisations carry their own stories of guilt, repression of feelings and fear. That’s why story-telling and re-framing the past as well as stories about the vision for the future is so important for businesses.

 

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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

3 Ways We Block Success

Three Ways We Block Success

I’ve often wondered why people don’t as a rule live up to their potential:

People with fabulous skills who for many reasons don’t feel the need to use them. A great friend of mine has the interior designer skill of Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen. She tirelessly attacks her house like painting the Forth Bridge, where she just finishes designing and changing her final room, then starts again. Her imagination, flair and precision to detail and colour are amazing. She makes her living from a completely different profession, one which she contributes greatly, but is hard work and low paid. A few years ago I asked her why she didn’t take her outstanding design skills to the next level, get paid for it, and become a success. I realised there was a lot at stake when she gave me about 15 resounding reasons why not.

I wasn’t surprised, and I know enough never to judge another person’s destiny or life, but I’ve seen it again and again, when hidden talents are just that: hidden away and not acted upon.

When researching for my degree dissertation, one of the questions I asked about 100 people was: “If you had all the money you wanted and there were no obstacles, would you be doing what you do now?” I can’t remember the exact figures, but it was in the 80%+ bracket of those interviewed who said “no. They wouldn’t”. When I asked them what they would do instead, some had startling clear ideas, some had a bit of an idea and others didn’t know, what they were sure of though was it wasn’t what they did right now.

It’s not just about making use of our talent and skills, many of us (me included) procrastinate, and talk about the fact that “we should get more sleep” or “we should lose those extra pounds” or “we need to stop working so hard, spend time with the family, take that holiday we’ve always dreamed about. I imagine you can add to the list.

I’m listening to the audio version of “” (2009) a co-authored book by Deepak ChopraDebbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. The three authors describe their unique perspectives of how our unconscious or our shadow affects us all. For those on a spiritual path, the book is a must, for those of you who aren’t  there is still many great psychological principles which are useful to understand if you want to really be your true self.

In the book, Debbie Ford describes how our shadow dictates our behaviour at times and how we need to look within to harness and direct what can be an unconscious destructive power. The problem of course, is, if we are being driven by an unconscious force, then we don’t know about it and are in denial! Our shadow is made up of all the characteristics, feelings, memories and traits we want to bury away and forget. The problem is, when such episodes are repressed then, they don’t go away and resurface in a number of destructive ways.

I have done enough reflection and work on myself to have experienced the sweet release when you face up to a painful or shameful memory, and come to terms with it, and so recognise the healing power of looking at our shadow, although it doesn’t make it any easier, and there is always something to look at! It is very much a lifelong journey.

In the workplace, again and again, I’ve seen characters who had potential to be a success, who at the last minute would do something to jeopardise their progress. I saw people yearning for a different lifestyle, not extraordinary outrageous changes, just simple ones, but forever keeping it out of their reach. There are many ways we sabotage our success, but for me these are the 3 most prevalent.

 

  1. Repressing painful memories, which make us fearful to move forward, or keep us locked in unsatisfying and dead-end relationships.

Not facing up to our inner pain seems like a good strategy. Who wants to feel pain? Of course we don’t. Allowing ourselves to work through pain heals and releases us from unnecessary suffering. The main reason we hold onto unnecessary pain, is that we have interpreted the pain we are feeling to mean something about us. “He left because I wasn’t good enough”, or,” he lost his job because he is just one of life’s losers” We bury the pain, because we cannot bear to face the incorrect interpretation we have arrived at.

  1. Allowing fear to prevent us from taking our talents to where they can benefit and help others.

Many of us live in our comfort zone and facing fears is part of growing and living. When I asked my friend why she didn’t want to take her interior design skills and get paid for her obvious talent, one of the many reasons she stated, was: “Who would want someone of my age to design their houses?” (She was in her mid-40’s at the time). What this response and many others amount to, one of our many human foibles is that many of us just don’t feel good enough. The truth is of course, that we are all good enough, and we don’t have to be perfect.

  1. Claiming inappropriate guilt when we have honored ourselves.

My friends got together many years ago, leaving their respective spouses. They had kids, and it was a terrible guilt-gut wrenching time for all involved. A couple of years ago, my friends realised that guilt was still dictating their lives, when their children were all stretching them to the limit and causing havoc. Although they didn’t realise it, they were not drawing appropriate boundaries and limits because they felt guilty. One of the ex-spouses had never married again, proclaiming that their life had been ruined. This spectre of blame and guilt over- shadowed the lives of the long married pair. When removing oneself from a poor relationship, it is a way of honoring oneself. That is not to say there should not be respect, kindness and consideration for the other partner who may not want the split; certainly if you want to move on from a relationship, you have to take responsibility. But how long should you wear that hair shirt? Of course, it benefits no-one and especially those children, who needed to understand that sometimes, life’s like that. Once they realised their guilt was governing their lives, they made some big changes, and months later, much happier children, and a much happier family life was achieved.

At work too, the collective shadow can come into play, keeping great potential cloaked in an unhappy comfort zone, creating conflict and affecting the success of the team. Organisations carry their own stories of guilt, repression of feelings and fear. That’s why story-telling and re-framing the past as well as stories about the vision for the future is so important for businesses.

 

Get our great new flipbook “30 Days To A More Motivated Team” when you sign up to receive regular updates from the e.MILE Community. Come find more about Leadership Development and our Great e.MILE Community (Motivate, Inspire, Lead and Engage). We love connecting with like-minded people, and we want to help you either get your message out, or you can search the directory for the expertise you need.

Christina has managed people for twenty seven years and led hugely successful teams. She has worked with people at all levels in various organisations to help them achieve their potential, and she has been actively involved in the learning and development field in a number of different roles.People Discovery is a Leadership Development coaching consultancy, based in North East England, working globally. The e.MILE Community is a networking, sharing and business directory for people who know “there must be a better way”By Christina LattimerFollow us on
 

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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

How Is Conflict Hurting Your Business?

Conflict often requires professional HR Expertise

Have you ever dreaded going to work because you didn’t want to deal with all the conflict? Maybe you didn’t want to face a boss who nitpicks and over-analyzes everything or work with a co-worker who is constantly texting while you’re trying to explain something important. Well, you’re certainly not alone.

Research shows that chronic unresolved conflict is a decisive factor in at least 50% of employee departures. Further, roughly 65% of employee performance problems are caused by strained relationships between employees. What’s more, managers spend 25-40%
of their time dealing with workplace conflicts. That’s up to 2 full work days every week that they’re not getting any real work done! As workplace conflict expert Daniel Dana, Ph.D. states, “Unresolved conflict represents the largest reducible cost in many businesses…yet it remains largely unrecognized.”

A Hidden Cause of Workplace Conflict

But what is the cause of all this conflict? Of course, individual personality differences play a role. However, one of the biggest hidden causes of workplace conflict is generational differences.

After all, a company founder who was born in the 1920s and grew up during the impoverished Great Depression has a very different work nature than a new hire who was born in the 1990s and grew up in the generally abundant and constantly connected Information Age. Basically, since they grew up in such different times, they come from completely different worlds and have very different perspectives and values. It’s not surprising that the latter might be reluctant to play by, or even understand, the rules of the former. With so many generational differences across an organization, it’s no wonder there’s so much conflict!  So, where do we start in reducing this generational conflict? Unfortunately, when we look closely at the traditional approaches to generations (like Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, etc.), we find some significant problems.

The Traditional Generational Approaches

The traditional approaches to generations are flawed in a number of ways. First, they take randomly-chosen periods of time to try to create generational profiles. But, arbitrary time frames such as a boom in the birth rate after World War II, or historical social cycles, do not accurately reflect powerful shared social experiences or exponential technological change.

 

 

 

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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

3 Reasons Why A Great Engagement Strategy Isn’t Enough

160042113An engagement strategy means the ability to create an environment where employees are engaged and encouraged to bring out their self-motivation are “must have” leadership skills.

I have worked with many leaders who have made great efforts to put in place a culture which gets the best out of people and gets them involved and committed. But sometimes their efforts simply weren’t, frustratingly, enough. Indeed many organisations invest much time and resource into getting it right, but even though they are well-intentioned, sometimes, often, their initiative is simply doomed; if not to fail, then at best, the outcomes simply don’t live up to expectations.In my experience, there were times, even when the company was doing well, a constant thread of discontent existed amongst the team or even across the whole organisation. For a long time I put this down to human nature. There are positive people and negative people and you can’t get it right 100%: right?I even found times when team and organisational results were high, and leaders were celebrating their successes; employee engagement indicators showed there wasn’t a corresponding “high” in the way employees were buying in or not to the success of the business. In one scenario, one organisation won accolades for leadership excellence when the engagement index for staff was actually sweeping the bottom of the industry league tables. Obviously the criteria for leadership excellence were missing some vital ingredients in engaging and enthusing their people.

For me, I have found, there are three common problems which if not tackled and given focus and attention will leave the best intentioned leaders and managers left scratching their heads in their efforts to create a great working environment. At first glance, most leaders and managers would probably deny these problems are alive and well in their workplace, but often denial can stem from the lack of perspective, given their proximity to the problem.

The three problems, I believe if not tackled will sabotage attempts to engage and motivate people are:

Lack of Drive to Excel

This syndrome often occurs when organisations are getting reasonable results. It’s a little like living with an old and trusted cooker. As long as it’s working and cooking tasty meals, then there’s no need to change. Once it’s broken though, then you will start looking around to see what’s out there, and slam, the realisation that your oven was “in the dark ages” compared to the brilliant new technology available and how much time can be saved with technological advances, comes into your awareness.

Many organisations are still “cooking on gas”, in their minds, but they haven’t caught on to the many brilliant possibilities that exist, if they decided to raise their game, and invest in something new.  In a nutshell, the organisational culture is resistant to operating outside of the established comfort zone, which would have been forced had results been poor or disappointing. Results which were “good enough” didn’t leverage sufficient motivation to change and achieve even better results.

Believing in Average Ability of their Employees

Some 5 years ago, I applied to win a place in a local Academy for my son. In those days Academies in the UK were few and far between. This particular school was amazing. At that time, results showed it was in the top ten schools in England. The school didn’t have formal feeder schools, so each one of its 190 odd intake of pupils was by application. They were and continue to be 2 – 1 oversubscribed.

In my ignorance, I expected the school to favour “bright” children, given its amazing results. What I found, still makes me wonder. The school intake policy includes an obligation to take in pupils from the whole spectrum of “ability” from children who had “special needs” to those who were nearing genius status. The bulk and the majority of children had to be sourced from average to below average results. It worked out at about 70% of the pupils were average achievers when they arrived at the school.

When the head was asked about how they managed to get such amazing results given the mix of abilities, he told the silent parents that unlike other schools, they truly believed that everyone was capable of excelling and so from that belief they got the best out of the vast majority of their pupils.

What I have seen in many organisations is a similar syndrome to that which most schools suffer, unlike the Academy. The general belief in the average ability of a large percentage of their employees which resulted in a self-fulfilling prophesy, i.e. they produced average results in the main.

Lack of Internal Customer Service

I have seen many organisations have great outcome related external customer service policies, and strategies. They have plans to engage people with the organisational “big picture”, “mission” and they hold focus groups and ask people constantly how they can make things better, but they continue to ignore the internal relationships between peers, teams and departments.

Insufficient attention is paid to internal relationships, contribution ethos, innovation, values and helpfulness within an organisation. This is all about internal customer service. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with friendly rivalry between teams if their starting line is that they always act “for the greater good of the organisation”. It doesn’t matter how much effort is put into engaging, planning and rewarding people, if the relationships aren’t designed to “serve” each other as internal customers, excellence is never going to be achieved.

Including some well needed perspective to lift your team out of their comfort zone, help foster self-belief in your people and get your internal customer service to work brilliantly must be part of your plan if you want to be brilliantly successful.

 

 

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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Leaders Make Mistakes Too – 5 Steps to Redeem a Potentially Fatal Error

Mistakes pictureRepeated mistakes are no longer sustainable

Ethics, morality and values based leadership are high on any thought leaders agenda right now. Realisation that materialism, self-gain and profit above ethics is no longer tenable, means leaders now have to be really clear their organisational and personal values, not only have to match, but must be demonstrated on a day-to day basis.

The public outcry in response to the face book status, made by Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In Editor, , is a stark demonstration of how questionable values can destroy trust.

For readers who have not yet followed this undoubtedly viral story, Jessica Bennett’s status invited applications for an “unpaid intern” with a description of the desired skill set and expectations in terms of the intern’s availability.

The response was immediate, with the majority of responders expressing “disgust” at the decision to attempt to get unpaid help, while Lean In’s purpose to promote and foster equality in the workplace, appears to be compromised. To make matters worse, it seems, Sheryl Sandberg’s widely reported sale of  $91 Million Worth Of Facebook Stock”  would suggest the founder of the organisation is not short of a bob or two.

Some brave responders disagreed and suggested the opportunity to gain the experience Lean In could offer would so benefit the intern that to work for free was a “gift”.

At the time of writing Sheryl Sandberg had yet to respond, while the Los Angeles Times, published a a short statement from Lean In.  “Andrea Saul, a spokeswoman for Lean In, said in a statement: “LeanIn.Org, like many non-profits, has enjoyed the participation of part-time volunteers to help us advance our education and peer support programs.”

Whatever the intention behind the Facebook status, the announcement has not only caused readers to question Lean In’s organisational values, but also demonstrates how different perspectives and views take on a life of their own and can call into question the values of the leader.

The problem with values at work is that actions always speak louder than words. Leaders who say one thing while doing another are simply creating an environment of distrust and division. Care needs to be taken that all actions are aligned to fundamental values. This is true not only when public announcements take place, but when internal decisions are being taken. Every action is conveyed out, and note will be taken, whether the leader likes it or not.

For Lean In, there may be a number of valid explanations for calling to recruit unpaid people to work for the organisation, but lack of clarification or communication is allowing people to simply make up their own minds. At best, this is a badly worded gaffe. At worst, it demonstrates a lack of commitment to organisational values and therefore calls into question the effectiveness of the aims of the organisation.

Like it or not, if you are a leader, there are going to be times when you either communicate inadequately or simply make a wrong call.

I’ve made many mistakes in my time, and the incident which springs to mind, happened only a few years ago.

I had worked hard with my team to foster a culture of inclusion and collaboration, making sure everyone was heard and had a say, where it was appropriate to do so. I also wanted to offer a service to our customers that was second to none, and the team was tasked to develop a strategy to do so.

Ever an opportunist, while this process was going on I got the chance to sign the entire team up for accredited customer service training for peanuts, as the training provider had access to grant funding. After a pretty unscheduled demonstration I signed on the dotted line, thinking I had bagged a brilliant bargain and a great opportunity for my team.

As soon as I made the announcement, I realised of course, I had made a tremendous gaffe. Notwithstanding the training and assignment time was completely in work-time, notwithstanding the team were going to get a recognised qualification, as well as learn the skills of brilliant customer service, all for a price which hardly made a dent in our ever pressed budget; I had violated at least three fundamental values, which I had been at pains to stress over the months I had worked with the team. The first one was simply to communicate with them, the second, to consult with them about major decisions which affected them and the third was to allow them to develop the overall customer service strategy, and take ownership of it.

Thankfully they took me to task about my actions in no uncertain terms. I was within a hairsbreadth of losing their trust forever. I knew my intentions were good, but I also knew I had to do something honest and with integrity to make matters right. The following framework can be applied to most situations, although they may come in different orders depending on the impact of the gaffe.

Admit you were wrong and apologise. I told them I was sorry, and honestly explained that in my enthusiasm to capture what I thought was an amazing opportunity, I had acted too quickly.

Set out your original intention. I wanted to be able to help my team develop exceptional customer service skills. I wasn’t expecting them to study or attend workshops outside of working hours. I also wanted to give them an externally recognisable qualification so it added to their bank of transferable skills. Most of the time, we do make decisions with the best of intentions, even if we haven’t thought through the entirety of our actions. Without being defensive, it is part of being honest to describe your reasons for making the decision.  If well-intentioned then your reasoning is a valid factor.

Get Feedback. It’s no good forging on and making good without really listening to what your team are saying. If you want to make things right, you cannot assume anything. When I first heard objections to the proposal for training, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the team just didn’t want to commit. Luckily enough I had enough experience to realise this probably wasn’t the case.  When I realised it was because they thought I had tread on their space and usurped their decision making powers, I could not but be grateful that the very values I had tried to introduce were alive and well.

Understand Your Bottom Line. Sometimes good decisions are made in the wrong way, and the outcome is un-negotiable. At other times, there are some options, where some compromise can be made and then you can find a solution within those parameters. In some cases, you just have to put your hands up and ditch your decision. In this situation, having listened to team members, I gave them back their decision making power, and made entry onto the course optional; although it was understood we had to find a way to help those not undertaking the training to find a way to meet the aspirational standards we needed. As it happens every one undertook the training (and passed!).

Make Amends. The customer service you remember is when the provider or supplier goes the extra mile. Things may go horribly wrong, but it is how the supplier deals with the situation that you remember best. It is the same with making a gaffe. It is how you subsequently deal with it which is at the heart of your redemption. As well as all of the above steps, in this case, I asked the team how they wanted to interact with me in the future, to make sure they were fully informed about potential developments and also that I consulted with them. I committed to this and made sure I followed up with my promise because I realised how tenuously close I had been in losing trust.

No doubt it will become apparent what the intentions behind the “Lean In” situation are in reality. It may be decided to quietly withdraw the post and make no announcement. I sincerely hope though they follow the 5 steps above or take similar action to deal with their gaffe.

 

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This great article is from the our 6 months themed series based on the Centre for Creative Leaderships Report of 2013, in which they identified the 6 top challenges for leaders across the globe:   Don't Miss Out! Sign up here to be notified of subsequent issues and posts

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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

The 3 Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make Which Diminishes Their Credibility

The 3 Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make Which Diminishes Their Credibility

Inconveniently, I’ve always had a conscience for some reason. This is not a holier than thou admission, it is just telling it how it is.  It doesn’t mean I’ve always done the right thing, in fact I could fill this page with actions and reactions I’ve made over the years which make me positively cringe.

What this meant for me for many years, was I would act in a way which logically was right, but I often walked around feeling bad.  When I would react in anger or judgement or just downright selfishly, I always had a stab in my abdomen which told me (I thought), how bad I was. Certainly when I was younger I was often angry or judgemental so I felt pretty bad much of the time.

As I grew, I realised that the stab in the abdomen was a warning that I was pretty much going to get myself into trouble, and that I was on the wrong track. It took me years to listen, but when I did, I realised inside me I had a brilliant guidance system which if I listened hard enough would help keep me out of trouble. I think I was lucky though born with a preference for intuition, even though my ego like an unruly rebellious child simply wanted to ignore it much of the time.

What I learned when leading and managing teams was that my intuition was absolutely vital and valuable, when I chose to listen of course.

There are a number of things my intuition told me as I led and managed others. The first one was to act with integrity. I strived to do this; tempted often to be expedient rather than act with integrity I mostly managed it, the gut always flashing that red warning light when I ignored this sound advice.

The second was to value everyone equally, and be scrupulously fair in my dealings with others. This was a challenging call. Like everyone else, it’s easy to lean towards those who are like you and who make your life easier. It’s much more challenging to embrace those who aren’t and who seem to give you endless headaches.

The third I want to highlight is to live a life of contribution. Definitely the most challenging tasks my intuition kept hammering home to me. Although I was always pretty motivated at work (ok, some would say a workaholic), it was only up until a very few years ago I was driven by my own desire to do a good job, my main motivation being to demonstrate to and give my kids a better life. My kids are pretty much grown up now, so once I realised I had kind of achieved that goal, a mini depression set in because I had lost my purpose.  And of course, this was just the opportunity my intuition had been waiting for! The only way I was able to regain my sense of purpose was to start down the path of contribution.

There are many lessons my intuition has taught me, and they have all been kindly and affirming. When I have ignored them my intuition just waits silently, not judging, not impatiently, simply waiting for the time when I was ready to listen.

Its vital leaders get in touch with their intuition, because when they do, decision making doesn’t come any easier, but it does have better results. I have found, through both bitter experience and observing others, many ways leaders destroy their credibility and lose the trust of their team. The following are for me the most prevalent.

These mistakes of course, are not limited to leaders and managers; they demonstrate the character of you as a person. So today, ask yourself if you are making these mistakes. If you are don’t worry, we are all do to an extent. But with awareness comes change.

Don’t act with integrity

There are many versions of integrity, and sometimes the components of integrity are difficult to articulate. But for me acting with integrity describes a number of forces at play. Some of them include acting in accordance with the values you lay claim to.  Understanding what others value and respecting them even if you don’t agree with them. Accepting others, being non-judgemental, discerning and being true to oneself. Being open to being wrong is always a key component of integrity! To act in true integrity can infer a heightened consciousness, or self-awareness. When leaders don’t act with integrity, then team members don’t feel safe.

Don’t value others equally

This is a hard one, because when someone is making life difficult it is hard to value them as much as someone who isn’t. We all make judgements even superficially. Our unconscious biases are always in play. The differences for leaders who consciously value others equally are the fact they are always questioning their decisions.

One of the biggest problems I find with clients is in their desire to get rid of a difficult person they form an attitude about them as a person. This just gets in the way. The best way to deal with difficult people is to maintain respect for them as people, but deal with their behaviour. Just because you value people equally, doesn’t mean you don’t deal decisively with unwanted behaviour. You are just kind when you do. When leaders don’t value others equally for being human, then even the most favoured employee will observe and note the unfairness, even if they aren’t at the receiving end of it.

Lack a contribution mind-set

There is nothing wrong with a leader who is competitive, results orientated, commercially driven, or profits orientated. But if their drive isn’t coupled with a genuine desire to make a meaningful difference; to help others; to contribute to the community, or to honour others, then no matter how successful, their credibility as a leader will  be diminished, even if only a little. Like it or not, our nature is to contribute. If a leader doesn’t embrace that drive within us, then the team whether they are consciously aware of it or not, will hold back with their loyalty and commitment.

So there are my 3 top ways that leaders and managers compromise the trust and credibility with their team.  What would you add?

 

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Performance Appraisals, Judge And BE Judged

Tasneem Hameed writes about the pitfalls of Performance Appraisals for The Extra MILE E-zine.

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself”- Wayne Dyer
To judge someone is a very difficult task. Even God who is almighty fixed a criterion for judging people, i.e. good deeds and bad deeds for reward and punishment. As their mind developed, humans too accepted its value for better control and they adopted it happily. When organizations came in to being, its application increased further because of its acceptance as the best way to manage people, and performance appraisal was the outcome. The modern performance appraisal systems go beyond rewarding the good deeds, i.e. good work, performance or efficiency and effectiveness of employees through money and use it also for development of employees.  In addition to direct fixed compensation and bonuses employees get rewards of promotion and career paths. The punishment side comprises of withholding of increment, warning letter or even termination.

Blue Eyes And Bad books
Performance appraisals are not only one of the most critical management processes, but also the most controversial. Judging and rewarding people being a sensitive matter no one can deny its importance. It is difficult to find an employee who thinks or admits that his/her work performance was bad or not up to the mark. Although new methods are being continuously explored and implemented, but there is always a feeling of justice not being done according to most of the employees who don’t get expected outcome from their performance appraisals. As the manager/supervisor of an employee has the most important role in the performance appraisal, he mostly has to bear the brunt of criticism. The most common complaint has been that of personal bias, both positive and negative, i.e. favoritism or dislike. For some employees good appraisal indicates that the appraised is a blue- eyed employee while the employee who does not get good ranking in the appraisal is in the bad books of the appraiser.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by Christina Lattimer

 

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3 Critical Interpersonal Skills Of Successful Leaders

 The effectiveness or not of some leaders Interpersonal skills often seem to be intrinsically linked to their personality or character.

 

I often wonder if it’s because people think these skills are an unchangeable character trait that they aren’t given the priority they should in organisations. A question I see again and again is: Are soft skills really hard skills?

Less than effective personality, or character traits, of leaders, can be viewed as an irrevocable package deal, where changing is difficult, if not impossible, if the belief is that the leader was born with them and cannot be helped.

Less than effective traits, are particularly damaging when they affect the leader or manager’s interpersonal skills. If an alien was coming from outer space, surely they would ask us why we put leaders and managers in positions of leading people when they don’t have well-honed interpersonal skills.

Seems mad doesn’t it? But it is exactly what we do in many cases. Sometimes it’s because the leader was good at their specialism, or it’s because there’s been a re-organisation and there was nowhere else to go; or perhaps they’ve been in the position for a long time and it’s easier to do nothing, because of the old chestnut “that’s how we do things around here”.

It’s not an ideal world and sometimes people are appointed into roles other than for the only reason they should be there, which is because they have all of the skills needed to do the job and therefore are able to make a difference. Recruiting or maintaining roles where leaders or managers don’t have the right interpersonal skills isn’t inherently wrong. Doing nothing about it though is simply neglectful.

In Research reported by John Tierney in the New York Times in January, it was shown that generally people don’t believe they will change.  Apparently, much of this belief is adopted because of either a lack of vision of what the future might hold, or from an over-optimistic self-concept that they are the best they are right now.

If your organisation has leaders who have character traits which limit their effectiveness, credibility or relationships at work, then perhaps the road less travelled, that soft (hard) skills route, is what is needed.

In my own journey from junior manager many years ago, I have changed so much its scary. I look back at those early days and it’s hard to believe it’s the same life. What I did learn on the way though is that interpersonal skills can and should be developed and prioritised in any organisation.

The most significant changes came for me when I learned and was able to use the following three interpersonal skills. These were hard lessons for me, and one’s which I had to learn because frankly my default position simply didn’t get the results I wanted, which was a happy, motivated and inspired team.

  1. Anticipating How People Might Feel.

I see it all around me, and I still am guilty of lacking in this particular interpersonal skill sometimes. Awareness is no guarantee of change, you have to practice hard to change long formed habits.

As leaders, we can be so busy getting things done, as people; we get so caught up in our own story that we forget the impact we are having on others, as parents, we are so busy protecting our children, we forget we can inadvertently invoke feelings of “wrongness”.    When we feel justified communicating with a lack of concern for others who are on the receiving end of what we say, we have lost this skill, when we react with anger to someone who has said something in all innocence, we have lost this skill. When we are fearful, impatient, annoyed, or just being thoughtless, we can communicate in a way which dishonours others.

Although some of the characteristics of what we commonly call empathy are in play here, empathy tends to be responsive to others and how they feel already. This interpersonal skill is about our impact on others.

  1. Owning Your Own Truth

We make all sorts of stories and assumptions in our minds about what we see out there. I remember a manager in my team, when describing a woman who was borderline in terms of her performance, said she was lazy. I asked him how he had come to that conclusion and he told me it was because she didn’t put as much effort in as others. Well factually that might have been true, but it didn’t necessarily follow that the employee was lazy. Recently, a teacher who didn’t know my son’s background concluded he was lazy because he hadn’t done the work he needed to do in a particular subject, she had drawn her own conclusion about him because she hadn’t actually asked him what the problem was.

If the employee doesn’t come into work, is unhappy, doesn’t work hard enough, works 24/7 or always volunteers. We make judgments about them. “They don’t care”, “aren’t engaged”, or they are our “life-savers”, or “paragons of virtue”.

The truth is, and the truth we need to own, is we are gathering information constantly, and when we interpret the information it becomes our next instalment.

Owning your truth starts with saying. “I can see that this is/isn’t being done. Why is that?” or “I feel really angry, and I need to understand why I can’t deal with this poor performance in an emotionally free, assertive way”.

  1. Seeing through Multi-faceted Perceptions

Everyone sees things differently. Even when you think you have reached the most watertight and consensual decision, there will be somewhere a slight difference in perception.

Developing the skills to see things from many different perspectives can be powerful and effective. In order to do this easily, an understanding of personality types and the characteristics of each type is useful. Once you get good at this, the first two interpersonal skills mentioned above become clearer and difficult to avoid.

The truth is, we never know what anyone else is thinking, their reasons for doing (or not doing) anything, what their preferences are, or why we might not agree. All we can do is try to see a situation from as many perspectives as possible. Of course De Bono’s “6 thinking hats” is a version of this although often the concept can be confined to the boardroom, when the skill is useful in most situations.

Come find more about Leadership Development and our Great MILE Community (Motivate, Inspire, Lead and Engage).   We love connecting with like-minded people, and we want to help you either get your message out, or you can search the directory for the expertise you need.

Christina has managed people for twenty seven years and led hugely successful teams. She has worked with people at all levels in various organisations to help them achieve their potential, and she has been actively involved in the learning and development field in a number of different roles.People Discovery is a Leadership Development coaching consultancy, based in North East England, working globally. The MILE Community is a networking, sharing and business directory for people who know “there must be a better way”By Christina LattimerFollow us on 
 

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6 Practical Ways Managers Can Motivate Their Team

6 Practical Ways Managers Can Motivate Their Team

As a young and inexperienced manager, one of my earliest recollections was a challenge by an equally young and inexperienced member of staff. He was popular and influential and he decided that he was going to make life as difficult as he could for me.With little support from anyone experienced, I pondered my options, and worried that day by day my effectiveness as a manager was being diminished by what felt like, his sabotage. One day my dithering was over when after taking an overly extended and extremely inconvenient lunch break he swanned back into office and when I asked to have a quick word, he swore at me in front of the team.

It was a defining moment for me on a number of fronts, the most vital being the consequences of putting off taking decisive action on a team members behaviour well before it reached critical point. Secondly the subsequent events determined a path I was to tread and refine over the years.

What happened in that moment was I realised I wasn’t going to get anywhere if I didn’t harness the commitment and respect of my team. Nor would they work well unless I demanded and expected the best of who they were.

Once we got over the formality of the strong warning he received, I decided to be wholly frank and I explained the effect his behaviour was having, and at the same time I also expressed my disappointment that he was selling himself short. I managed to get him to talk about his future and what he wanted and most importantly painted a vivid picture of where his behaviour was headed and asked him if that was what he wanted. Of course he didn’t. His behaviour changed from that day, and we never looked back. It took him about 5 years, and we had long since lost touch, but when I read he had been appointed to the role he had at that time told me he would love to do, I had to smile.

Whenever I have interviewed managers and asked what they do to motivate their team, the answer to this question displays a manager’s level of self-awareness and confidence about what makes people tick. Often, great motivators are unconscious of the gifts they have as they are natural people managers, or conversely they have made a conscious decision to develop a good understanding of people, and be open and willing to learn what they have to do to get the best out of their team.

If you are a manager and are not sure how to motivate your people, here are 6 practical ways you can improve levels of engagement and increase the commitment and enthusiasm of your team.

  1. People are either “towards” or “away” motivated. “Towards” motivated people need to have their own vision for themselves (hopefully linked to the company vision, but not always), and once they have a picture of what they want then they will work hard to achieve that vision. For these people, your job is to help them develop a personal vision within the company.
  2. With “away” motivated people, you need to be able to help them articulate what they don’t want, so necessary actions can be taken to move away from these possibilities. These people fear the consequences of not taking appropriate action or making much needed changes. Your job is to help them develop the necessary drivers for change. For example, they may feel motivated because they don’t want to get left behind or their jobs may disappear.
  3. People thrive on being able to make decisions and feeling in control. As a manager you can support people by allowing them as much autonomy as you can. The best way is to agree outcome based objectives or goals, without being too prescriptive about “how” outcomes will be achieved. Give your team permission to try different ways and allow them to “fail and learn”.
  4. Instead of having team meetings, hold team “problem solving sessions”, or “driving up performance sessions”. Encourage your team members to have a say in how collective issues, problems or challenges are approached and solved.
  5. Celebrate success. There is no doubt, what you focus on is what you get. If you continually focus on what goes wrong, then you will encounter more of what goes wrong. By celebrating success both as a team and with individuals, you will find more and more to celebrate. Successes can be a range of things. Encourage team members to note when things are going well and when they feel good about something they have achieved, no matter how small, it may seem.
  6. Think, say and act as if you believe the best in your team. Develop a mind-set whereby you believe that people are doing their best and will do better when they know better. Tell people what you appreciate about their contribution, and find ways to internally and externally communicate your belief in them. If things go wrong, then focus on the lessons to be learned, and don’t personalise behaviour.

Never expect less than the best, and eventually that is precisely what you will get with your team. When you expect and respond positively to great contribution and good outcomes; mediocre and lack lustre performance, or performers will slowly but surely fade away.

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How to Work Smart and Ditch The Long Hours Culture

162918808Working Long Hours is no longer tenable

It amazes me that in this century we are still talking about a long hours culture. Research completed in the UK by the TUC, reported in the Independent earlier this year states that employees in the UK work an average of 7.18 hours in unpaid overtime every week. Interestingly, a recently published survey by showed that only 1 in 10 professionals consider flexible working to be important, amidst speculation this is because they believe it will only be introduced to benefit the business.

“The TUC said some unpaid overtime was down to heavy workloads, but it believes much of the extra hours being put in were down to “pointless presenteeism”, with staff judged on the hours spent at their desk rather than the work they do”.

I’ve worked in and with many organisations with a long hour’s culture, although I’ve never subscribed to such a senseless way of working personally, and if it were demanded of me, I would have asserted my rights.

Before you get the picture that I cheerily leave the office on the stroke of 5.30 every day, I have to say just because I don’t subscribe to a long hours culture, doesn’t mean I sometimes don’t work long hours, because I do, but not because of the culture, but because the ebbs and flows of the work demand it, at times, but not all of the time.

I have known leaders who have judged an employee’s performance by the number of hours they’ve worked, or how late they stayed at the office, but frankly they didn’t engender respect because employees knew their judgement was ill-conceived and more about either wielding power, or as a crutch to stifle their fear of not being able to deliver.

We live 24/7 lives, and economically every employer wants to get every last penny of value from their salaried employees, of course they do.  Although anyone with any real management skills understands if a permanent long hour’s culture is necessary then the business is not being managed well and will not be sustained over the long term.

That’s not to say there aren’t times when employees might be expected to pull out the stops occasionally, for example; if there is a rush order, crisis or a situation which is temporary or seasonal. This has to be balanced with sensible give and take, and a mature attitude and commitment to get done what needs to be done.

Some organisations are resistant to introducing a flexible working regime, or  have created a long hours culture, and are scared to let it go because they believe employees will take advantage of them and want it all their own way. This reluctance I believe stems from a lack of confidence to introduce a way of working flexibly with a win/win outcome. I don’t advocate it’s always easy, but it can be done.

If you have a long hour’s culture or a rigid 9 – 5 culture and you want to change it: Here are some suggestions how to achieve a healthier way of working, which will allow you to ditch long hours for good.

1.  Operate a Smart Performance Regime

Set outcome-based targets and objectives. This will allow employees the freedom to fit work around their own particular style of working as well as their lifestyle. Objectives can be adjusted depending on capability and business needs, but the focus is not on watching the clock

Evaluate productivity. Long hours do not necessarily mean that employees are working to full capacity. It might be that someone who leaves at 3.30pm to pick up the kids every day is more productive than someone who stays till 6.30pm.

Continuously improve efficiency or lean ways of working. The aim here is to make processes and procedures slick and time-bound, the focus being on reducing hours rather than extending them.

2.  Cost out the commercial benefits of a workforce with a healthy work/life balance

Gather together the associated costs with unhealthy working hours. Stress-related absence; or even higher than average sick absence, may be costing the business dearly. The costs of presenteeism, where people attend work when they are ill, are higher than if they were absent. A healthy working pattern can increase employee engagement, lead to greater commitment, reduce turnover, to name a few of the benefits. Develop a matrix of improvements you’d like to see as a result of operating more flexibly to fit with your team’s lifestyle, so you can measure the win/win element.

3.  Set out clear standards and bottom line expectations

There are always boundaries and it is being clear about what these are. If people want to leave early sometimes, then there are always provisos. For example if there are minimum volumes of work to be done or standards have to be met, or even if there has to be someone there to answer the phone. Don’t micromanage, but let teams sort out the arrangements themselves. If standards aren’t met then make sure the team is made accountable. Make it clear flexibility is ok, but that the work has to be done.

4.  Plan for ebbs and flows

Employees need to understand the pattern of ebbs and flows. Although there will always be some unexpected emergencies where employees might need to stay, most situations can be planned. Set out what needs to be done and give the team ownership for delivering.

5.  Show genuine gratitude when employees do pull out the stops

Never let additional effort go without at the very least a “Thank You”. Employees like being appreciated. They want to feel they are making a difference just as much as you do. They will feel they are, if you sincerely feel gratitude to them for going the extra mile when the situation demands.

Remember a healthy work culture may include times when it is right for employees to work long hours for short periods. Motivated and happy staff will often “up their game” when crisis hits or change is occurring.

The trick is to recognise when a long hours’ culture is in place simply for the sake of it. This is when good workers become demotivated as otherwise great performance is ignored because they don’t choose to burn the midnight oil.

 

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