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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
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If you’ve ever been confused, stuck or overwhelmed, when your life has presented you with a critical decision, then you are not alone. Many of my clients come to me because they are grappling with major decisions.One of the reasons we get stuck is because we look from different perspectives and this can result in a range of options with no real insight into what is best for us or others.Much of my work is based on Carl Jung’s personality types, deriving from which the Myers Briggs Personality Type (MBTI) tool was developed. Although I use MBTI, it is Carl Jung’s enlightened understanding about how our personality works, which enables me to help my clients to make better choices, as they align with their heart and mind.Part of the decision making process is gathering information. In simple terms, you usually gather information in two ways:
The first and most common way is through your senses. What you see, hear, touch, smell and taste. Predominately you are gathering information through the first three, although sometimes all five senses, depending on the situation. If you prefer gathering information through your senses, then you tend to like evidence, facts, and data. You are often described as a “down to earth” person and you like to analyse the information you are receiving to inform your decision making. The second way you may gather information is through your intuition. Your intuition can work in two ways, it takes the information it sees through the senses, and forms patterns and possibilities, which can be creative and involves using your imagination. The second way is to tap into insights, ideas and guidance which can be described as coming from your unconscious part of your mind. When your intuition is tapping into your unconscious it can give you illogical insights and wise guidance. This can sometimes be known as your “gut instincts” or “higher self”, or “collective unconscious”. We all have the ability to tap into both types of information, but as Jung and the Myers Briggs team have demonstrated we have a preference for one or the other. Sometimes this can be a very strong preference and sometimes it can be border line. You also have a preference about how you make decisions. The two decision making functions are “thinking” and “feeling”. Some of us prefer to make decisions based on our feelings about the information, and others through our logical conclusions about the information. Often when we are confused, we are alternating between the information we receive through our senses, and that which we are receiving through our intuition. For example, “I have a strong gut instinct to take that job, but the salary is less and there seems to be no promotion prospects”. For me the best decisions are made when you feel good about the decision, and the logic about the information which informs your decision aligns with your beliefs. Part of the formula for doing that is to get in touch with your intuition and trust it. If you have a strong preference for sensing, then this can be uncomfortable, but do-able. Over the years, I have found the following 5 ways help people get in touch with their intuition. There are many definitions of some of the descriptors used, the following describes the context and meaning in the way I use them, rather than referring to any universal definition. Meditation is giving you a holiday from the clamour of your daily thoughts and stream of information. It is finding the gap between your thoughts and staying there. Silent and observant, you can watch your thoughts without attaching yourself to them. It is allowing your intuition or your unconscious wisdom, space. Through mediation, your intuition may come to you in different ways, either through thoughts, ideas, or an encounter with someone or something. Use meditation to be open to whatever comes up. Contemplation is also about clearing your mind, but for me it is more purposeful. You may have a problem or a situation where you’re not sure what to do, or don’t know what the solution is. Ask clearly what the problem is, and then simply observe the problem from different angles and instead of actively thinking about the information, let thoughts come up. Often, you can be inspired with a solution, although sometimes the emerging solution isn’t immediate. It can pop up at any time. Writing is extremely powerful if you are disturbed or upset, even if you aren’t sure why. Writing down how you are feeling, why you are feeling that way and then ask your intuition how you can look at the situation differently. Then write down different ideas, until you find a perspective which feels good and you can believe. Writing is about telling the story of what is going on in your mind and giving you an opportunity to see it from a better perspective. The true trick is to ask your intuition how to perceive the situation so that you can be at peace with it. It’s not about repressing feelings though. Feelings are a great emotional guidance system, and it’s important to let them come up and help to inform the writing process. Listen to Music – You are better aligned with your intuition or higher self when you are feeling good. You know you are feeling good when you are in touch with appreciation, gratitude, love and laughter. Listening to music you love can quickly help you get into those places which feel so good. A daily dose of music you love can definitely align you with your intuition. Going outside - Whether it’s fresh winter air or warm summer sunshine, getting away from the clutter of a busy workplace, or a demanding home can clear your mind and give you a space which you might not otherwise give yourself. Staying in the present moment and clearing your mind while you are outside is a must. It’s no good getting out into the open and taking all your clamorous thoughts with you. Are you a sensor or an intuitive? Or do you flex between the two? What do you think? If you’d like to undertake the MBTI type tool and find out about your preferences, contact me at If you liked the information in this article, why no sign up for my weekly blog and claim your free EBook “The Magic of Seven” 7 x 7 ways to be inspirational at work!
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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
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Yesterday, I had some news which made me want to cry with frustration. This problem had come up a couple of times before, and I had, with much annoyance, sorted it out, and here it was again. I won’t bore you with the problem because problems are two a penny, and the real issue is what I did about it.I had always thought of myself as “A cup half full” person until about 15 years ago. I had an ability to identify and solve problems, and therefore make (what I thought) was a positive contribution to whichever world or organisation I was impacting upon at the time.It was in a session with a coach I had hired to help me make a particular transition in my life who brought that self-concept sharply into question. We had been talking about a situation in my life where I was explaining what was wrong and how I thought I had done all I could to make changes, when she looked me straight in the eye and said “You have a slightly negative outlook on the world don’t you think?”
The silence must have only lasted about 30 seconds but it felt like about an hour while I contemplated with horror what she had just said. In one fell swoop she uncovered one of the biggest blind spots in my life. In the moments that followed, I didn’t even try to deny it, the only words I could muster were “Do you really think so?” And she nodded. I felt like I had been punched. The horror I think was more acute, because I actually woke up in that moment and realised it was true. The pattern of my thinking and my self-concept had been mismatched for the majority of my working life up until that point and I’d had no idea until that moment. It was a defining moment for me because it made me look within, and thus the journey to uncover the largely unconscious and negative thoughts and beliefs in my mind began. For the next few years I worked at becoming conscious of my beliefs and thought patterns and it was amazing how judgmental I had been, not only of myself but others. During the journey, I uncovered many patterns I had acquired. For me ingrained beliefs and patterns of thinking are like well learned habits, which like tying shoelaces or riding a bike, you have learned so well they’ve become unconscious. When you try to go back to identify the sequence of the beliefs and thoughts it takes some effort to uncover them, and then some real practice to change the way you’ve habitually become used to believing and thinking. The journey has been painful and liberating and in the end totally empowering. I would love to say that I no longer participate in negative thinking but it’s a lifetime’s work I think for me. I now have strategies in place which can almost instantaneously change my thinking for the better, and some of my limiting beliefs at the same time. The barometer which measures my progress is my feelings. When I am feeling positive and peaceful emotions, I know my thinking is aligned with who I really am at my core. puts forward the idea that your emotions are a result of your intentions, unconscious or not. So when I started feeling anxious and fearful as a result of the problem. I realised that my intention in that moment was flawed. I was about to let my beliefs ideas and thoughts turn towards a victim mentality. “Why did this happen to me again?, it must be karma” Helplessness, “What if I can’t solve it?” When you see this pattern in black and white, it seems quite silly. But much of our suffering in life is because of the habitual default to our mostly unconscious negative fears, beliefs and thoughts about us. You may well have heard the quote “Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional,” By the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami. If you put this with the quote by the Greek playwright, Aeschylus, “Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” In those two quotes you have the single choice, which can, if practised habitually, transform your life. It is making the choice to be happy, no matter what. So this is what I did about the problem yesterday.
I have this now down to a fine art. The whole process took about 5 minutes in all. All those years ago, it could have taken me 3 days to feel positive again after encountering such a problem. Progress indeed. If you’d like to read more about some of my methods I have learned over the years, sign up for my weekly blog and download your free e-book: The 6 Secrets of Great Emotional Intelligence” |
If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
I’d read about Philippe Petit some years ago, and while being amazed at his death defying tightrope walk between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre in New York City, I was either was too young, too busy, in the wrong country or too focussed on other things to truly absorb his story. That changed last weekend when I happened upon an old documentary in which Philippe was recounting his experience on that day, 7th August 1974, and the events leading up to it.
I realise as I write this, I am almost 40 years behind, but I also know there is a right time for everything, and I needed this story now, because it clicked into place a piece of jigsaw I was toying with, but not quite knowing where it fit.
I have always admired people who have made a significant impact, and have been inspirational people. People who particularly inspire me are Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Ghandi, Viktor Frankl, Sir Winston Churchill, Carl Jung, Abraham Lincoln , and latterly Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, and Steve Jobs, to name but a few. I am now adding Philippe Petit to my list.
These inspirational people on my list are famous for very different achievements. Some didn’t particularly set out to be “world” leaders in their field. But to me and many others of course, they are leaders, because by virtue of their achievements they have led a way, which has helped many people, and so been inspirational. Their stories and work have certainly changed my world.
Simon Sinek in his brilliant book “Start with Why” concludes the reason some inspirational people and their dreams (like Jobs and King for example) are globally successful is that they act from the inside out, they don’t sell their products, they sell their beliefs. It is these beliefs that other people relate to which harnesses their commitment, support, and buy in.
I was blown away when I heard Simon speaking about this phenomenon, because I know it to be true, certainly about me. I finally realised the reason I was so enamoured by these inspirational people was my interpretation of their beliefs and qualities embodied my own beliefs and value systems which I aspire to.
When I examined my own list of inspirational people, I discovered several qualities they displayed which I aspire to, and therefore inspire me.
And finally, what Philippe Petit made me see so clearly:
7. They are aspirational, they dare to attempt “the impossible,” feats and successes which any rationale mind may have said weren’t possible.
Inspirational people lead others by letting them see that their hopes, dreams, aspirations, and values are not only desirable, but are possible, by demonstrating they can be done. Once you have seen impossible being achieved, then the world has changed.
So how can this help our everyday leaders, who aren’t out to change the world, but who grapple with the day to day reality of where they are right now?
I asked this question of a very dear mentor of mine. “How can I lead in my small way, when all my inspiration comes from people who have changed the world, it seems overwhelming?” What he said to me can also be true for leaders in every field. He said, “Don’t concentrate on the world; apply your beliefs, principles and values to your world and the rest will take care of itself.” Although I agreed I still felt apprehensive. That was until I witnessed Philippe’s mad impossible mission and suddenly the impossible was possible, and the final piece of the jigsaw slotted into place.
You don’t have to walk a tightrope across tall buildings or ravines to inspire your employees and customers; all you need is a clear vision, faith, commitment and courage. Together with the knowledge you are making a real difference for the greater good. For me this is the real formula for success.
If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
What if things were really ok?Two nights ago, I went swimming. It was an activity I had been looking forward to all day. I usually go quite late because it tends to be more peaceful and as I swim I can ruminate and contemplate.
Tired and tense for the first 10 lengths or so, instead or relaxing, I found my mind worrying about a number of pieces of work I had still to complete. The anticipated peaceful relaxing swim was eluding me
As I carried on, I remembered a technique I use quite frequently with clients. It is the “What if” frame. It’s a well-known Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique used to help people tap into their imagination and explore situations they otherwise might consider being impossible. It is usually used to break down limiting beliefs.
For example, a friend of mine loves his sales job, but confessed once he sometimes felt frustrated because never seemed to earn more than £50k annually. He had never exceeded this figure and was convinced it wouldn’t get any better. When I asked why he thought that was, he explained he didn’t think the number of customers were available to exceed that limit.
I recognised his frustration because he had simply hit a limiting belief. I asked “What If you wereable to find ways to exceed earnings of 50k?” What would you have done differently, and what else could you do? He furrowed his brow and started thinking. What this technique does, is lift a person over the “I can’t” barrier, and helps open up possibilities, to incorporate ideas and suggestions, to achieve a different outcome.
Asking “what if” can be a powerful way to get your creative juices flowing. So when my daughter’s friend was planning her wedding, she floundered about the kind of venue she wanted and the colour of the bridesmaid’s dresses etc. So I asked her “what if, you had the wedding of your dreams, what would the surroundings look like?” This and questions like it helped her to begin to describe her highest desires. From there, she was able to begin to imagine and thus describe what would work for her.
When swimming, two nights ago, I didn’t need to use my imagination, or break down my limiting beliefs. On the contrary, my imagination was working overtime, and it was my lack of limiting beliefs, (I know only too well the possibilities open to me!), that were actually overwhelming me and making me feel stressed. So when the “ What if ” came to my mind it was in a different context again.
As I swam, I recalled the final way I use “What if” exercises with clients, which helps them to get in touch with feelings. Used in this way asking “what if ” is used to switch feelings. If you are feeling low because you are scared something isn’t going to happen, or things haven’t worked out in the first place, the state you are creating can become like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For example, you’ve applied for a job, but you didn’t get through the last job interview, and your confidence took a dent. Your anxiety about failing and the pressure you feel to be successful this time round simply intensifies. You worry about it for days beforehand, and by the time you get in front of the interview panel, you are so nervous, they can’t help but wonder if actually you are up to the job because you have been wringing your hands, and stammered your way all through the interview, simply because your anxiety took over.
If, before the interview, you had asked yourself the question, “What if I were successful at getting this job?” You imagine what it would feel like and get in touch with the joy, excitement, gratitude and enthusiasm you would experience. If you took that experience/state into the interview room, believe me, your interviewers would also have a completely different experience of interviewing you.
Ten minutes into my swimming session, I simply asked myself. “What if everything was OK?” I immediately stopped worrying, the knots in my back started to relax, and suddenly my state felt peaceful. As I swam on, I realised the worst thing I can do is not take my own advice. What was almost certainly going to turn out a most stressful hour of battling against feeling overwhelmed and anxious, completely switched. I realised if everything was OK, I could enjoy this hour, and simply unwind and relax. So I transformed the next fifty minutes.
Why not transform your next hour and imagine “What if, everything was OK?”
If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
When it gets down to basics, we all have the same psychological operating systems, we give out and absorb energy, we take in information, think, feel, and make decisions. However we use those depends on our own preferences, beliefs, values and experiences. For many leaders being congruent with the way they use their psychological operating system is key.
Expectations of our leaders are increasing Ethical and value centred leadership seems to be the emerging priority across the globe. The world needs leaders who can pull it from the current state of chaos with clear vision, great emotional intelligence and thinking skills. For me, together with unity conscious beliefs therein lies the skills of visionary leadership.
For individuals; the raw material of those three skills creates our reality. How you imagine your life to be; what you focus and think about the most; or indeed how broadly you may think, and how emotionally you navigate life, filtered through our beliefs are the play dough of life.
For a leader those skills, if used purposefully and with awareness can collectively create the reality of a nation. If that nation is a world leader, then the potential is staggering.
Of course, vision, emotional intelligence and thinking skills are all to no avail when the belief system those skills are filtered through is somewhat blinkered, limiting or biased. If however the leader’s belief system is centred on unity consciousness then their intentions are for the greater good of all.
If you put all of those elements into a pot, then you have the ingredients for all possibilities, and a chance to shape the world; the organisation or the team anyway you want. They are the play dough of true leadership, if done well could change the world for the better. Here is a summary of what I believe are the top 10 ingredients which could enable a leader to shape the world for the better.
Leadership Play Dough Recipe:
Ingredients:
3 basic beliefs:
We are all equally as valuable
There is only love or fear of love
We can create our reality
3 components of vision:
Anything is possible
Our vision is for the greater good of all
What we can imagine we can create
2 parts emotional intelligence:
Our emotions are a guidance system not a result
Emotions help us learn who we really are
2 pieces of thinking wisdom:
We are not our thoughts, we can change them
Thinking and what we focus our thought upon creates our world
Preparation Method:
What other ingredients would you add to the mix and do you have a different preparation methodology? If so, do please comment below, I’d love to hear from you.
If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
Do Followers know what their leaders want?Today, a search on showed 98,516 results for “leadership”. A further search for “followship” came back with a mere 39 results. I searched again for “team player” and received over , although “team player” wasn’t quite what I was looking for. I know sometimes part of great leadership is setting out what you expect and need from your followers, and “followship” is a little used word, but the yawning gap between the results surprised even me.
You may be a leader or a follower or both. As a leader do you ever think we are disproportionately focused on your behaviours, skills and values? As a follower, do you ever think about what your leader might require from you? As a leader, do you take time out to articulate what you need from your followers? And I’m not talking about job specification or role here.
I guess some leaders would say they need different things from the people who work for them and industry differences would drive some of the skills, characteristics and behaviours of followers. When you consider different dynamics across millions of organisations, it’s a sure bet if people decided to write about followship with any enthusiasm, you would end up with considerably more books than those written on leadership.
As a leader I am sure you will either consciously or unconsciously know what you require of your followers, over and above their job role. But do you articulate those wants, or do you get frustrated because your followers don’t actually follow very well? If you are a follower, do you know what your leader expects of you, and if not would you like to know?
As a leader and manager, and a follower, and subsequently a coach for leaders and managers, I have over the years, experienced and listened to many views and opinions from leaders about their teams and what does and doesn’t work. As a follower, I have consciously tried to support my leader and have sometimes found continuous support challenging.
As a starter for 10, I’ve brought together the main points gathered over the years and the following describes what I believe leaders commonly want from their followers.
As a follower involved in my leadership I need you to:
Do you think it’s reasonable for a leader to expect certain behaviours and attitudes from their followers? Do you think employers have a right to state so explicitly what they want and need from their staff?
If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
Valuing your team can only come from a sincere place, value and recogniseA recent report in HR Magazine by David Woods reported “Employers are failing to inspire their staff and make them feel valued, with only 21% of employees believing their company cares about its staff, according to a YouGov survey of over 1,000 workers, commissioned by performance consultancy, River Marketing”
The results don’t surprise me, although I think it’s a downright shame that people aren’t experiencing a greater sense of value from the workplace. People need to feel valued, and quite often there is a misconception that actually a simple “Thank you” will achieve just that.
How often have you heard someone say “Just a thank you would have been nice” “I just wanted them to recognise me”, or “it’s a thankless job” or words to that effect? In numerous employee feedback surveys I have seen results which deliver the verdict that employees don’t feel recognised. They don’t think the feedback they get is meaningful, or worse, they don’t get feedback at all. It’s an age old problem, which hasn’t changed significantly for the better certainly in my career span.
I have worked on a number of engagement strategies drilling down to why people aren’t engaged, and yes there are many reasons and many ways in which your business can help to better engage employees and reap all the benefits that such engagement brings. What has I think become a catchall in terms of a solution is the expectation that leaders and managers should say “Thank you”.
On the surface saying thank you seems obvious, and if you get a thank you from someone, mostly it’s welcomed. The trouble with giving managers a direction that they should thank their team or they should say thank you, is that it smacks of insincerity. It’s a little like the old school of good manners. Say thank you, no matter what, even if you aren’t at all thankful for what you’ve received.
I wish when I was younger, my parents hadn’t just told me to say thank you. I wish they’d understood why fostering an attitude of gratitude and appreciation was much more important. Why? Because the feeling and the sincerity behind the words “Thank You” are the vital ingredients to reaching the right state where great things can happen, both at home and at work.
Now I am authentic enough to say thank you in context. So if I don’t like what someone has given me, for example the box of chocolates when I’ve just started my diet, or a report which bears no resemblance to what I asked for. I can at least thank people for the effort or the thought, which is much more honest than thanking them for the gift or the work which doesn’t actually fit the bill. I also know that I never say thank you without meaning it sincerely and appreciatively.
For great leaders and managers to say the words “Thank you” authentically, they may never actually utter those particular words. They may say thank you in a multitude of ways, but you can guarantee that the words do not matter when the underlying state of real gratitude or appreciation is present. When you are in that state, the rest just takes care of itself.
I have worked for some interesting people over the years. Some I’ve loved working for, some I haven’t. Some I’ve admired and appreciated, and again some I haven’t. The ones I remember are the ones that actually thanked me for my efforts. Mostly they didn’t say the words “thank you”. But here are some of the ways I knew they valued and appreciated me.
They .
Some of those people aren’t actually here any longer. I wish I had realised their impact on me and on my way of life at the time, but I didn’t. But at least now I can silently say to them “Thank You” your input meant everything. And I actually mean it.
Who are you impacting on today? Do you feel gratitude and appreciation for your team, or your family, or whoever is helping you? What do you think? I’d love to hear from you
If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
Or does it make you squirm?
You may be an HR Professional leader or manager relying on HR to help move your business forward. When discussing strategy with people of different roles at many levels, I have often been met with a perplexed look when I have mentioned that the role of the HR professional is to help the business to be inspirational. Many people feel much more comfortable with descriptors like, credible, respected, focussed, performance-led…. well I could go on and on.
So what does inspiration mean and why do many people not relate to it? The free dictionary gives the following definition of inspiration.
For me; inspiration is about tapping into the true self of a person and helping them to engage, emotionally, intellectually and physically with a situation or cause which resonates with their values. No mean feat huh?
For you as an enlightened leader, manager or HR professional, you may be well ahead of me. However, If you aren’t sure how, you might be asking “Is that the role of HR? “
Some people will prefer other expressions, such as “gain commitment” “going the extra mile” employee engagement”. “Performance management” to name but a few. There is nothing wrong with these ways of expressing how you get the best from your people. The questions are; Are you inspiring your people to be the best? and: Is the task of inspiring your people something HR should be involved in?
Well I believe yes it is. If HR is going to be at the top table, and bring real value, it needs to understand the equation of Knowhow + Great HR = Inspiration and it goes like this: -
What do you think? Are you an inspirational leader, manager or HR professional? Are you managed by someone truly inspirational? I would love to hear from you with your story.
If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw". If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme. Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014. There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme. You can unsubscribe at any time! Click below to register for further information.
