10 Ways to Get Focused When You Simply Have Too Much To Do

 

10 Tips on How to get Focused When Multi- tasking

I don’t know about you but I do struggle at times to feel in control when my “to-do-list” is over the page. Unfortunately while mindlessly reacting, I’ve developed an almost comic strip routine, a little like starting a new healthy eating regime, it only lasts a few days and then old habits usually take over. The routine goes like this: I draw up a new to-do-list; I prioritise it, and start working through it. What usually happens is an emergency occurs, or something unexpected becomes the priority of the day, and my carefully planned prioritisation goes out of the window. I spend a day or two trying to get through some bulk volume work, spend unplanned evenings catching up and then the whole cycle starts again.

My 16 year old son has just started into 6th form, for a lad who simply hates homework, at least 16 hours of it each week is a big stretch; it’s a whole new paradigm shift for him, one which already into the 2nd week has become a source of stress. Of course he has to build habits which are going to help him to avoid being stressed. As I was giving him some advice about how to focus, I realised it was about time to take my own advice. So here I am writing this blog (on time) because yesterday, I began the process of practicing what I preached. I have heard many times that you learn best what you teach, so I thought in that spirit, I would share my advice with you! If you are ultra-organised and can add to the list, please do share!  Any advice will help me I’m sure.

Ten ways to get focused :

1. Turn off the technology

With an array of teenage social media such as Snap chat, Instagram, Face book and IM, my son’s phone pretty much pings constantly. For me, my guilty time waster is to open emails when they ping into my inbox on my desk or laptop. This idea is as old as the first installed workplace computer, we all know we have to do it, but it takes some discipline and determination to ignore our ever increasing online communications.

2. Do one thing at a time

I know, I know it’s not rocket science, but I do flit about from project to project at times. My son started some Psychology homework, got stuck and instead of getting over the “difficult hurdle” he put it down and started something else. Doing one thing at a time means doing it from start to finish, without being distracted with something else. To actually do this takes determination and concentration, but it is well worth it as even difficult tasks get ticked off.

3. Diarise non urgent tasks a month ahead

If you have a million things to do and half of them are routine and definitely not going to be urgent in the next week or so, then diarise them a month in the future. I know it doesn’t get them off your list, but it gets them off your list for now. For me, it is like a breath of fresh air to know I don’t have to give those routine items a priority, and if I do happen to get up to date, I can always reach forward and get those things done and feel even more virtuous!

4. Chunk down daunting tasks

My son had his first 1000 word essay to do; he was daunted to say the least (while I tactfully kept quiet about the 10k and 20k feats which might come if he goes onto higher education). If you are daunted by the size of the task, then chunk it down into manageable tasks. Put each smaller task into a series of priorities and complete each one in order. It is easier to concentrate on a task if you know it’s only going to take an hour or so, than when you know it’s going to take a couple of days.

5. Have a purpose

When I have a mundane, but a priority task to do, I need a good purpose. So for example, when I got my tax return done earlier this month, I had to remind myself that if I got it done, not only would it not be hovering over me, like the ghost of Christmas Past, but I would be able to completely get focused on tasks I really love and enjoy. My son had to remind himself that he wanted to spend some of his weekend playing football and going out with friends, and not have to do homework instead. Having big picture purposes can help too, although tend not to be so effective, as small ones. At the moment, my son has a vision for his future, so he needs to remind himself that by focusing now, it will help him achieve his goals.

6. Don’t do it

Ok, this tip isn’t about focus, but getting rid of unnecessary or habitual tasks helps to get you focused on the important and necessary tasks. If you can’t find a good reason to do it, other than, you always do, or its part of your routine, or you’re scared to let it go, then stop.

7. Be in the right environment

We are lucky because we have a spare bedroom which my son is now using as his study. It means he can shut the door and escape from the hub-bub of the rest of the house. If you are in a busy office and can’t concentrate for interruptions and activity around you, then go somewhere else. I managed a busy office with over 80 employees on site, and as my door was wide open, I had a constant queue of people coming to see me. During one particular crisis we encountered, I was struggling to pull together an urgent report, when one of my dear team members, marched over, popped her head round the door and said, “excuse me, but this is for your own good”, and she shut the door and taped a “Do not disturb” sign on my door. Yes I should have done it myself of course, but being in reactive mode can sometimes be a lifelong habit.

8. Take a break

If you get to a point where you are finding it hard going, take a break. Taking a break does not mean checking your phone or emails, it is about going to get a coffee, getting some fresh air or even practicing a five minute mediation. It is about quieting your mind, not populating it with fresh information

9. Establish a routine.

If you are a morning person then getting through your priority tasks should be done as soon as you get to your desk, or as soon as you can. You know what times of the day you are most productive, don’t waste those times on routine non urgent tasks, reserve them for the things you really need to do to make a difference. Once you’ve established your time zone, then stick to it and make it a habit as prevalent as brushing your teeth.

10. Borrow tips

My tenth tip is borrowed from a great mentor of mine, the eminently successful Peter Thomson, who is the UK’s most prolific Information Product Creator. So sorry, I don’t want to steal Peter’s thunder, so you will have to wait for this one, as I have interviewed Peter for the next issue of our monthly E-Zine “The Extra MILE” where he tells readers all about his work and in amongst his great advice he also shares his brilliantly simple tip to help people get things done, which is brilliantly effective! Do visit our website, and sign up for the E-zine to be sent directly to your inbox so you don’t miss out on Peter’s sage advice.

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Focused

 

 

 

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3 Ways We Block Success

Success Three Ways We Block Success

I’ve often wondered why people don’t as a rule live up to their potential:

People with fabulous skills who for many reasons don’t feel the need to use them. A great friend of mine has the interior designer skill of Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen. She tirelessly attacks her house like painting the Forth Bridge, where she just finishes designing and changing her final room, then starts again. Her imagination, flair and precision to detail and colour are amazing. She makes her living from a completely different profession, one which she contributes greatly, but is hard work and low paid. A few years ago I asked her why she didn’t take her outstanding design skills to the next level, get paid for it, and become a success. I realised there was a lot at stake when she gave me about 15 resounding reasons why not.

I wasn’t surprised, and I know enough never to judge another person’s destiny or life, but I’ve seen it again and again, when hidden talents are just that: hidden away and not acted upon.

When researching for my degree dissertation, one of the questions I asked about 100 people was: “If you had all the money you wanted and there were no obstacles, would you be doing what you do now?” I can’t remember the exact figures, but it was in the 80%+ bracket of those interviewed who said “no. They wouldn’t”. When I asked them what they would do instead, some had startling clear ideas, some had a bit of an idea and others didn’t know, what they were sure of though was it wasn’t what they did right now.

It’s not just about making use of our talent and skills, many of us (me included) procrastinate, and talk about the fact that “we should get more sleep” or “we should lose those extra pounds” or “we need to stop working so hard, spend time with the family, take that holiday we’ve always dreamed about. I imagine you can add to the list.

I’m listening to the audio version of “” (2009) a co-authored book by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. The three authors describe their unique perspectives of how our unconscious or our shadow affects us all. For those on a spiritual path, the book is a must, for those of you who aren’t  there is still many great psychological principles which are useful to understand if you want to really be your true self.

In the book, Debbie Ford describes how our shadow dictates our behaviour at times and how we need to look within to harness and direct what can be an unconscious destructive power. The problem of course, is, if we are being driven by an unconscious force, then we don’t know about it and are in denial! Our shadow is made up of all the characteristics, feelings, memories and traits we want to bury away and forget. The problem is, when such episodes are repressed then, they don’t go away and resurface in a number of destructive ways.

I have done enough reflection and work on myself to have experienced the sweet release when you face up to a painful or shameful memory, and come to terms with it, and so recognise the healing power of looking at our shadow, although it doesn’t make it any easier, and there is always something to look at! It is very much a lifelong journey.

In the workplace, again and again, I’ve seen characters who had potential to be a success, who at the last minute would do something to jeopardise their progress. I saw people yearning for a different lifestyle, not extraordinary outrageous changes, just simple ones, but forever keeping it out of their reach. There are many ways we sabotage our success, but for me these are the 3 most prevalent.

1.  Repressing painful memories, which make us fearful to move forward, or keep us locked in unsatisfying and dead-end relationships.

Not facing up to our inner pain seems like a good strategy. Who wants to feel pain? Of course we don’t. Allowing ourselves to work through pain heals and releases us from unnecessary suffering. The main reason we hold onto unnecessary pain, is that we have interpreted the pain we are feeling to mean something about us. “He left because I wasn’t good enough”, or,” he lost his job because he is just one of life’s losers” We bury the pain, because we cannot bear to face the incorrect interpretation we have arrived at.

2. Allowing fear to prevent us from taking our talents to where they can benefit and help others.

Many of us live in our comfort zone and facing fears is part of growing and living. When I asked my friend why she didn’t want to take her interior design skills and get paid for her obvious talent, one of the many reasons she stated, was: “Who would want someone of my age to design their houses?” (She was in her mid-40’s at the time). What this response and many others amount to, one of our many human foibles is that many of us just don’t feel good enough. The truth is of course, that we are all good enough, and we don’t have to be perfect.

3. Claiming inappropriate guilt when we have honored ourselves.

My friends got together many years ago, leaving their respective spouses. They had kids, and it was a terrible guilt-gut wrenching time for all involved. A couple of years ago, my friends realised that guilt was still dictating their lives, when their children were all stretching them to the limit and causing havoc. Although they didn’t realise it, they were not drawing appropriate boundaries and limits because they felt guilty. One of the ex-spouses had never married again, proclaiming that their life had been ruined. This spectre of blame and guilt over- shadowed the lives of the long married pair. When removing oneself from a poor relationship, it is a way of honoring oneself. That is not to say there should not be respect, kindness and consideration for the other partner who may not want the split; certainly if you want to move on from a relationship, you have to take responsibility. But how long should you wear that hair shirt? Of course, it benefits no-one and especially those children, who needed to understand that sometimes, life’s like that. Once they realised their guilt was governing their lives, they made some big changes, and months later, much happier children, and a much happier family life was achieved.

At work too, the collective shadow can come into play, keeping great potential cloaked in an unhappy comfort zone, creating conflict and affecting the success of the team. Organisations carry their own stories of guilt, repression of feelings and fear. That’s why story-telling and re-framing the past as well as stories about the vision for the future is so important for businesses.

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

7 Ways to Increase Your Odds of Success

There is no fool-proof way to make sure you reach success in everything you do. If you are a poker player, you will know that no matter how good the cards are; or how well you play them; there is always a chance that you will be “drawing dead”. For those of you who don’t play poker, the term “drawing dead” basically means you are holding a losing hand, but you don’t know it.

Although I’ve reached success on many occasions in my life, I’ve equally often been “drawing dead” on many occasions too. The whole point is that we can intend many outcomes, but more often than not, we simply don’t know how things are going to pan out.

The problem is our conscious minds are, at this stage in our evolution, pretty limited. Scientist Dr Bruce Lipton asserts that and it is this part of the mind which is largely in control. This explains why for example, we might intend to lose those extra pounds or save for that vacation, but no matter what our intention, we carry on with old habits and no change is made.

It can feel pretty scary to think we actually aren’t aware of what controls us. Although if you are prepared to learn and become self-aware it can actually be powerful, because all you have to do in theory is to become aware of those unconscious beliefs and recordings which are driving you and you can make those changes.

Sounds easy? Of course sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. What you have to do to tap into the unconscious mind is to ask the right questions and then be prepared to listen for the answer. In the meantime though we have to make decisions, take action and deal with life.

There are always going to be times when the cards don’t fall your way and things don’t happen the way you want them. There are times when the cards are all lined up and you win that particular hand. What I have learned over the years is a number of strategies which help me make the most of the hand I’ve been dealt and then play them in a winning way.

1. Be clear about the outcome you want and go for it

Having clear outcomes helps you feel purposeful and motivated. Outcomes don’t have to be mind-blowing, life-changing or long-term.  Outcomes can range from, envisaging a peaceful loving meal with the family, or becoming a millionaire. The scope and timing doesn’t matter, what matters is you programme your mind to work towards something you want.

2. Let go of the outcome

Conversely you then need to let go of the outcome. Desperately wanting something to happen simply creates a negativity which just keeps your desires away from you. Also the reason things don’t work out could be for a number of reasons. For example if the peaceful loving meal erupts into world war three, then you might have to learn acceptance or how to help others navigate their own emotions. 

3. Develop strategies and stick to them

If you intend to have a loving peaceful meal with the family, but you know there is a risk that tempers may flare, or somehow conflict might arise, then if you have a strategy to help you deal with that possibility then you will not get exasperated, or frustrated or angry when your desired outcome isn’t being realised. You will find a way to navigate your way through. When I gave up smoking, I developed a strategy to avoid those situations when I knew my craving would be worst. I stuck with the strategy and eventually, I kicked the habit for good. It’s the same with some of your bigger outcomes. Develop strategies designed to achieve your outcome, which will help you deal with disappointment, cover risks and change course when it’s right to do so.

4. Face your worst fears

If you don’t face your worst fears, they will drive you. If you fear you might not achieve your outcome for some reason, then you need to root that fear out and deal with it. If you fear a different outcome, for example your partner might leave you, or you might end up broke, face it. It is only when you repress and stifle fears that your subconscious mind stores them up to trip you up!

5. Have a Plan B

Following on from facing your fears, is to have a “Plan B”. What are you going to do if the worst happens? If you don’t think you are going to be able to bear it, where will you get support? What will you do to get yourself back on track? What happens if your business folds, your job ends, you go broke? How can you put a contingency in place to deal with or help mitigate you realising your worst fears.  Once you have done this and feel at peace with your contingency, then forget about it and focus on what you do want!

6. Be your own best friend

We can be our own worst critics. To increase your chances of success, you need to choose to be your own best friend, your own cheerleader and your soft place to fall. Being your best friend doesn’t mean you don’t let others in your life to be there for you, but given you know yourself best, it’s good to know you are on your own side!

7. Celebrate successes

Success comes in many forms and realising your desires is only one way you can feel successful. Some of my most successful outcomes came from adversity. Finding emotional resilience and better ways to deal with life, is actually a great success can often only be achieved through not getting what you want sometimes. 
 

 

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

A New Paradigm of Leadership and Management Development – redirected

To give clarity to my paradigm on leadership and management, I set out below my leadership development model which gives on overview of my own philosophy.

I fell into the leadership and management field really.   When I left school at 16, with no expectations other than eventually to get married and start a family I had no clue what I wanted to do.  Taking the first job I could, in an office, I eventually became a manager at the tender age of 22.  Being the youngest in the office and the manager meant I had to learn quickly, and I did.  After decades now of leading and managing teams I made every mistake in the book.  Much of my career whilst successful in many respects was born of trying one thing, and when it didn’t work, trying something else.  I think I probably need to apologise to my many team members and colleagues over the years, because life with me as a leader wasn’t always easy!

The years of leading and managing though always felt right, even when everything was going wrong, and it quite often did.  What I did over that long path of time, was to learn.  I realised early on that life was about learning.  First of all I had to learn about other people, then myself, and ultimately that real learning which only occurs around relationships.

In the early days, I wanted to learn to become a better person, and often failed miserably.  Although I needed to take in information and learn the tools of my trade, I realised these were mere props. Eventually I realised that learning is actually about bringing out of one self.  The word “Education” actually derives from the verb educe, which meant “to draw forth from within”.

Having dedicated myself to a path of self-learning over the years, I would contend that the most satisfying purpose in life is to learn and uncover one’s own real self.   In this respect, I now know that learning about one’s self is not to make a better person.  But rather to uncover the person which was always there.  That is true for all of us.

What I also discovered on my learning journey was that as my self-awareness grew and where my leadership development model came into being, so did my understanding and ability as a leader and manager.  For someone who hasn’t undertaken a path of self-learning it might sound self-centred and egocentric.  But it isn’t. What I have learned is that as self-awareness grows, so does your regard, concern and respect and understanding of and for others.  I also believe a true leader does not lead per sae, but brings out the best in others, consciously or unconsciously helping them to unwrap their own true selves.

Sometime last year I spent some time with MBA Students and we were talking about modern leadership.  We looked at the many problems with the world, with politics, and with business.  We examined the many crises leaders must be tasked with.  They are enormous tasks which need great leadership and vision.   When I asked them what skills leaders needed across the board to cope with what was to come.  This is what they said.

Our leaders need “Integrity: Credibility: Wisdom: Courage: Consistency: Social Intelligence: Charisma: Vision: Communication: Appreciation: Decision making: Fairness: Justice: Rational: Creativity: Honesty: Open-mindedness”

There are many leadership models, hundreds of thousands of leadership books, underlying the many perspectives out there.  But at the core of all us there is a commonality. “A knowing” when things are right, and what is needed.  I believe many of the attributes most people want their leaders to have are contained in that list articulated by the students.

Below is my leadership model based on this commonality and knowing.  This is, I believe, the new paradigm, so sorely needed right now.  Many are already there, many on the journey, and many still to undertake it.  But it is open for anyone to choose to do so at any time.

THE PEOPLE DISCOVERY LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT MODEL

 

The Model is based on a number of characteristics which are available to anyone.  The characteristics of the Model are:

Connected to Higher Self

1.            An ability to connect to ones higher self.  Some people call this Right mind or Right brain, or Spirit, Love, Intuition, a Guardian Angel, or some other Inner Guide.  And so they are Inner Directed, Discerning and Confident.

Unity Consciousness

2.            An understanding that the higher self is who we really are; the main characteristics of which are unity consciousness and love.  And so they are Positively Value Based and Value Others Equally.

Self- Awareness

3.            Well-honed visionary, thinking and emotional intelligence skills which are used with the purpose of making a real difference and so they are Creative, Self-Aware and Purposeful

Inspiring Others

4.            Understand others and therefore know how to communicate, engage, create an environment which encourages enthusiasm, commitment and motivation, and as a result get the best out of their team.  And so they are Accepting, Non-judgmental and Inspirational

Motivate Inspire Lead Engage

Leaders who develop the characteristics of the model are able to create the conditions to self-motivate, inspire, lead and engage their people.

 

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Need to Find Inspiration? – 5 ways to get in the Zone

  163145340 Need Inspiration ?

I work best when I’m inspired. What do I mean by inspired? For me, it is a feeling of “all’s well” with the world: A certainty that nothing is going to go wrong and what I am doing is meant to be. When I am inspired, time ceases to matter and I can be working with focus and complete attention for what seems like minutes and a few hours have passed. Idea’s flow and they are easy to implement. I don’t actually think about much, I am just being, and moving forward. Some people call it being in “flow”. I call it being in the Zone.

Some years ago, I found myself struggling to define “quality” beyond the routine service level agreements, when making improvements to our customer service offer. It was easy to set standards in terms of timing and behaviours for example, it was less easy to define when they were met; but the quality wasn’t good.

The easiest way I found I could communicate quality in this context was to describe what it wasn’t. So for example. If a product was returned, or customers had to ring up for information we could have given them beforehand. If we got feedback which indicated we weren’t meeting on unwritten expectations, for example, an attitude by an employee, or not giving the right information at the right time.

Inspiration is like that, difficult to define or put into words and often easier to describe when inspiration is lacking. So for example: I am definitely not in the Zone when:

  • I feel de-motivated
  • I am resistant to moving forward
  • Time is dragging or worse I feel bored
  • What I am doing seems like a chore
  • I feel tired and stressed
  • I am overwhelmed or discouraged.
  • I’m easily distracted

Like being happy, being inspired takes some practice. Mostly, you can’t simply choose to be and feel inspired at will, you have to create the conditions which lead to an inspired state. Everyone will have a different way of doing this, but if you don’t know how to create those conditions then it might be worth your while to find out what works for you.

Over the years, I have developed a way of getting into my Inspiration “Zone” and here are some activities which I hope can help you reach an inspired state.

  1. Writing early in the morning immediately after waking is a powerful practice. It is a great way to capture those early morning inspirational ideas and thoughts which often hit, like no other time in the day. Do this before you do anything else, yes even before that morning cuppa, otherwise the “spell” is broken, and you will begin to worry about your day to day schedule, or whatever is on your mind at the time.
  2. If you are feeling fairly negative and need to get into the Zone, then find a comfortable place and stop thinking. No;I didn’t say stop breathing! Although when I suggest this to some, you would think I had indicated such a drastic step. This is a great technique if you have to go into a meeting or an event and you want to be in an inspired state. Instead of thinking about it, just stop thinking. This might involve just observing any thoughts you might have, but not actively engaging with them. It’s a mini meditation which should only last for about 5 minutes or so. Practicing “not thinking” is like giving your tired bombarded mind a mini holiday. It also allows the inspired part of you to shine through. Like sun rays streaming through a cloudy sky.
  3. Take some time out and spend it doing something you love. That might be spending time with family, reading, exercising, or just watching a good old movie. It’s always good to do this, but be warned, if you take your de-motivated or distracted self with you, then you will negate the benefits. You must completely and utterly allow yourself to give your full attention to the activity, and the good feelings which you connect with.
  4. Listen to music. Whether it’s up-beat rousing music, slow, ballads, or indeed anything which appeals to you at the time. Listening to music clears away negativity and if given attention and focus, helps change your state positively.
  5. A state which completely minimises inspiration is when you are cluttered or overwhelmed, whether with things to do, or physical disorder around you. To keep clear and allow the inspiration to flow, take a good inventory of your things to do list, and delete anything less than essential. You must be ruthless. Ruthlessness is also a must when you are getting rid of physical clutter either at home or at work. If you haven’t touched it in 6 months, then you need to ask yourself whether you are going to use it. All clutter and unnecessary tasks are doing to you is keeping you weighted down.

What are your top tips to become inspired?

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Take Another Look : How Your Perception Is Changing Your World

 

78491057 I’ve wanted to write an article on perception for a long time, and for a while, until today, the words haven’t come.

Today I had a big personal breakthrough when I was able to see something I had long viewed in a certain way, differently. I feel differently and I know that my experience, has, and will change. The reason we need to understand the way our perception shapes our world is because if we want to experience something different, the change must come from within.

Some time ago a friend of mine, in mid-life, lost her job. She didn’t even see it coming. One day she walked into her workplace and was told, along with the rest of the workforce, that she no longer had a job. After a few weeks she decided to set up a business on her own. After only 18 months she gave up and went to work for a local business in a role which didn’t really reflect her expertise or indeed her valuable experience. A year into the job she came to me for some help.

Describing how she felt, she said she had “lost her mojo”. After some unravelling we got back to the day she lost her job. On the day of the “bombshell”, she took herself off for a walk, numb and stunned, her thoughts went along the lines of “Why me?” “What has gone wrong?” “How am I going to manage?”

Knowing how her family relied on her salary she felt like a failure and even up to the day we discussed the situation, she wondered why this catastrophic change in her life had happened.

She had attempted to pick herself up, starting the new business and then latterly with the new job, but she had lost something valuable inside and her and faith had been severely shattered.

During the conversation, I suggested that some people after the initial shock may have thought “Yippee” I can now explore something else, I can use my unique talents I have to do something great with my life”. She looked at me as if I had gone mad, and I could see she thought I was probably out of touch with reality.

But that is the real problem. We think the reality we see and how we interpret it, must be right. But in any given situation, we can look again and interpret it in a different way.

I realised many years ago that the world I was seeing was a reflection of my perceptions. When I was a young single mother I felt unsupported and alone. I had lots of friends and family, but I always perceived them to have busy lives and asking them for help was a big deal for me, so I rarely did it.

Unwittingly, I was fulfilling my perception of: “I am pretty much on my own, and if I need anything, I had better do it myself, because others are too busy to help”. After many months of feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and alone; a back problem forced me to ask for help.

At first it was difficult and uncomfortable; I felt I was imposing my own problems on others. But after a while, something magic happened. I began to see that people around me, cared about me, and wanted to help.

When I asked people for support they overdid the support they gave me. I saw that when people were helping me, they felt connected and were happier helping me than watching me struggle alone.

I finally realised with a great big light bulb moment, that my outworn perception had unwittingly kept others at a distance and not only was my perception wrong, but my need to be right kept my perception in place even when I desperately needed to see things in another way.

When my friend and I started talking about the choices we have and how we can see things in a different way, she realised losing the job was not a personal indictment on her. She eventually also saw she had been holding on to a faulty perception of the job loss and this faulty perception was affecting her life every day.

She decided to look at the situation differently and came to the conclusion it had nothing to do with her, it was simply a change in her life, albeit an unexpected one. I recently received an email from her. She told me that she was becoming quite an expert at switching her perceptions and most importantly, she had her mojo back!

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

End The Struggle – 5 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Intuition

If you’ve ever been confused, stuck or overwhelmed, when your life has presented you with a critical decision, then you are not alone.  Many of my clients come to me because they are grappling with major decisions.One of the reasons we get stuck is because we look from different perspectives and this can result in a range of options with no real insight into what is best for us or others.Much of my work is based on Carl Jung’s personality types, deriving from which the Myers Briggs Personality Type (MBTI) tool was developed.   Although I use MBTI, it is Carl Jung’s enlightened understanding about how our personality works, which enables me to help my clients to make better choices, as they align with their heart and mind.Part of the decision making process is gathering information.  In simple terms, you usually gather information in two ways:

The first and most common way is through your senses.  What you see, hear, touch, smell and taste. Predominately you are gathering information through the first three, although sometimes all five senses, depending on the situation.  If you prefer gathering information through your senses, then you tend to like evidence, facts, and data.  You are often described as a “down to earth” person and you like to analyse the information you are receiving to inform your decision making.

The second way you may gather information is through your intuition.  Your intuition can work in two ways, it takes the information it sees through the senses, and forms patterns and possibilities, which can be creative and involves using your imagination.  The second way is to tap into insights, ideas and guidance which can be described as coming from your unconscious part of your mind. When your intuition is tapping into your unconscious it can give you illogical insights and wise guidance. This can sometimes be known as your “gut instincts” or “higher self”, or “collective unconscious”.

We all have the ability to tap into both types of information, but as Jung and the Myers Briggs team have demonstrated we have a preference for one or the other.  Sometimes this can be a very strong preference and sometimes it can be border line.

You also have a preference about how you make decisions. The two decision making functions are “thinking” and “feeling”.  Some of us prefer to make decisions based on our feelings about the information, and others through our logical conclusions about the information.   Often when we are confused, we are alternating between the information we receive through our senses, and that which we are receiving through our intuition.  For example, “I have a strong gut instinct to take that job, but the salary is less and there seems to be no promotion prospects”.

For me the best decisions are made when you feel good about the decision, and the logic about the information which informs your decision aligns with your beliefs.  Part of the formula for doing that is to get in touch with your intuition and trust it.  If you have a strong preference for sensing, then this can be uncomfortable, but do-able.  Over the years, I have found the following 5 ways help people get in touch with their intuition.

There are many definitions of some of the descriptors used, the following describes the context and meaning in the way I use them, rather than referring to any universal definition.

Meditation is giving you a holiday from the clamour of your daily thoughts and stream of information.  It is finding the gap between your thoughts and staying there.  Silent and observant, you can watch your thoughts without attaching yourself to them.  It is allowing your intuition or your unconscious wisdom, space.  Through mediation, your intuition may come to you in different ways, either through thoughts, ideas, or an encounter with someone or something.   Use meditation to be open to whatever comes up.

Contemplation is also about clearing your mind, but for me it is more purposeful.  You may have a problem or a situation where you’re not sure what to do, or don’t know what the solution is.  Ask clearly what the problem is, and then simply observe the problem from different angles and instead of actively thinking about the information, let thoughts come up.  Often, you can be inspired with a solution, although sometimes the emerging solution isn’t immediate.  It can pop up at any time.

Writing is extremely powerful if you are disturbed or upset, even if you aren’t sure why.  Writing down how you are feeling, why you are feeling that way and then ask your intuition how you can look at the situation differently.  Then write down different ideas, until you find a perspective which feels good and you can believe.   Writing is about telling the story of what is going on in your mind and giving you an opportunity to see it from a better perspective.  The true trick is to ask your intuition how to perceive the situation so that you can be at peace with it.   It’s not about repressing feelings though. Feelings are a great emotional guidance system, and it’s important to let them come up and help to inform the writing process.

Listen to Music – You are better aligned with your intuition or higher self when you are feeling good.  You know you are feeling good when you are in touch with appreciation, gratitude, love and laughter.  Listening to music you love can quickly help you get into those places which feel so good.  A daily dose of music you love can definitely align you with your intuition.

Going outside -  Whether it’s fresh winter air or warm summer sunshine, getting away from the clutter of a busy workplace, or a demanding home can clear your mind and give you a space which you might not otherwise give yourself.  Staying in the present moment and clearing your mind while you are outside is a must.  It’s no good getting out into the open and taking all your clamorous thoughts with you.

Are you a sensor or an intuitive? Or do you flex between the two?  What do you think?  If you’d like to undertake the MBTI type tool and find out about your preferences, contact me at

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If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

The Crucial Practice Which Helps Leaders Become Successful

157173102 The Crucial Practice for Leaders

There is no one formula to being a successful leader.  Many would argue that great leadership is situational, and what are seen as great leadership traits for one situation, may not be so great for another.  This is very true for example, where you may have an immature team which isn’t quite yet developed, a leader may in the initial stages need to be much more directional than they perhaps would otherwise be.  The Hersey-Blanchard Situational Leadership Theory is quite clear on the stages involved in leading teams with different maturity levels.

Often leadership is classed as being significant, when the leadership style is values based.  The leader demonstrates to employees and customers, just who they are dealing with.  While I think many would agree that openness, honesty, humility, inclusivity for example may be universal values; they are not always actually at the top of everyone’s list.    So a commercially savvy entrepreneur who cuts corners and makes hard decisions easily, to get where they need to be, can be applauded by some and condemned by others.

The crucial practice all leaders can,  and should be good at though,  is self-awareness.  It is one thing making a decision to axe the jobs of 100 people, and having an attitude of “well that’s just business”.  It is miles away from the leader who agonises over the need to make such a decision, conscious and aware of the impact it is going to have on the livelihood of all of those people.

That’s not to say that a self-aware leader doesn’t make those decisions, but they do so with care, kindness and understanding, as well as firmly.  They will have no doubt that such a decision is a last but necessary  resort.  They also support, listen and respect the fears, anxieties and issues of the people who are affected.

We all have our blind spots, I would challenge anyone who believes they haven’t.  Although making the decision to lead a life of awareness can be a challenging one, it is also can be extremely revealing and rewarding.

In my experience, leaders who are willing to continually learn and develop their own self-awareness may not be perfect, or paragons of virtue.  What they do though is different from leaders who don’t practice self awareness, in that they learn from their mistakes, and then do something differently next time.  They take time out to evaluate how they are doing, and how they impact others.  Most importantly they are able to observe themselves objectively in order to self-appraise.

In the process of leading a team or an organisation, they willingly:

  • Take feedback from their people and find out what is going wrong as well as what is going right.
  • Are prepared to learn from others and they admire qualities about other people who can teach them something.
  • Question their own mind sets, and are always open to learn how to be more authentically positive and to achieve great outcomes for themselves and others.
  • Understand their own power to affect the intentions, mind-sets and beliefs of others and they use that power wisely and with integrity.
  • Understand that leading a team is not a single-minded activity, but one where they must be open to understanding others, so as to get them on-board and engaged in what they are trying to achieve.
  • Work out exactly who they want to be working with them and for them.  They have a good insight into themselves and how they tick and therefore have the same understanding of others
  • Commit to continuous development of their business and people.  They understand that life is a learning experience, and it’s not just about skills and knowledge, but also about self- understanding.  Not just for themselves, but for others too.

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

Leaders: Should Employee Happiness be on Your Agenda?

International Day of Happiness

In April last year, the United Nations held its first conference on happiness and wellbeing in New York City.   The conference introduced the concept of “Gross National Happiness” which I have to say made me very …Happy!

One of the announcements made was there will be an International Day of Happiness on 20th March each year.

I am a big believer in happiness, and the benefits happiness can bring.  I have had many discussions with peers and colleagues and I rather believe I may be in a minority.  Not that many people disagree that happiness is a good state in which to be; mostly they just think it’s unrealistic.  Certainly in the workplace many people think it’s not even a consideration.

Happiness is An Inside Job

Now I know that employers and leaders cannot be responsible for employees’ happiness.  Happiness is an inside job.  If any of you have been in a relationship with the intention of “making someone happy” and that person is not intrinsically happy, you know how impossible it is.

The truth is, people choose to be happy or not.  Self-aware people understand that external “things” may help you get in touch with happy feelings, but rarely do they last.  In fact really happy people understand that due to the temporary nature of anything in the world, happiness is an internal state largely consisting of acceptance, interpretation and choice.

As a Leader, all you can do is increase the odds of people being happy

As you can’t control how people choose to feel, act and think; all you can do is create the right environment which increases the odds for people to happy.   You might be asking why on earth you should even consider taking such steps when you are financially strapped, your employees are revolting and daily your problems seem to be increasing.  Haven’t you enough on your plate? And why help people to be happy when there is no guarantee of success?

With the right direction, the benefits of people being happy at work are: They

  • get more work done
  • will be more committed to the task and the company
  • will be physically, mentally and emotionally more healthy
  • will infect your customers with their happiness
  • have more productive relationships with other employees
  • have fewer conflicts
  • be more resilient

Develop a Happiness Quadrant

If any of you are battling with poor employee feedback, performance issues, high absence rates, conflicts and complaints, then you might want to take some positive measures to change things.

Alright I know if you go along to the board meeting and suggest a “happiness quadrant” your fellow board members might be checking your temperature and looking for signs of addiction, but the following suggestions can be combined with your organisational development or strategic activities.

Create respect and admiration at the organisation identity level

  • Commit and demonstrate company values
  • Develop and maintain a meaningful purpose
  • Identify and communicate a worthy contribution

Celebrate and engage employees and teams

  • Monitor and put in place measures to help people meet 4 basic needs, of feeling valued, safe, in control and being a contributor
  • Help people be responsible and gain autonomy to deliver their contribution
  • Celebrate success, internally and externally
  • Tell great and meaningful organisational  and individual stories which engage emotions

 Develop a Community Culture

  • Have a defined social structure – even if it’s just the annual Christmas party
  • Accept that people aren’t perfect, create environments where people can let off steam, solve problems, or deal with frustrations and fears – safely
  • Develop sensible work/life balance
  • Develop an ethos of internal as well as external customer service.
  • Encourage and allow people to care about each other

 Create a Learning Ethos

  • Help employees gain mastery and transferable skills
  • Introduce learning which helps people to understand themselves and engenders personal growth
  • Turn mistakes into learning opportunities
  • Help people to learn and take responsibility for their own wellbeing, whether physical, emotional or mental

I know some people will think putting happiness on the agenda is not a strategic move.  My challenge for those people would be my favourite mantra “Would you rather be right or happy?”  So go on I urge you to choose “happy” and celebrate the World Happiness Day on 20th March, with some strategic thinking about creating a happy environment at work.

In the spirit of the World Happiness Day, I hope this article made you smile as well as giving some ideas about creating a happier culture at work.

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.

   

7 Key Questions Astute Interviewers Should Ask Potential Candidates

  149045925 (1) Probing Questions can really dig out the best candidate for any job.

I was the recruitment campaign manager for a busy organisation in South East London for several years.  At that time, recruitment was a little like painting the Forth Bridge, it was a continuous task.  Not only was it difficult to consistently attract that elusive star candidate, but, an abundance of jobs and competitive salaries meant people moved on and up pretty quickly.

In those days the recruitment process was relatively simple, in that it consisted of  the candidate sending an application in the post and then being invited to face to face interviews.  I was trained in interviewing skills and had to reach a certain standard, you either passed or you were sent home in shame.   I was videoed, given detailed feedback and trained in past . Simplistically this meant acquiring the knack of helping the candidate enlarge on key specific examples which displayed whether or not they met the criteria we were looking for.

For the majority of jobs, the key criteria consisted of some pretty simple requirements too. For example, what the candidate considered when they made decisions, whether the candidate  took the initiative, made a difference, got on with the rest of the team and achieved results. There were more, but you get the picture. Although skill based criteria also had to be met, the main focus was about behaviours.

I took a break from interviewing for a couple of years, only to find that when I took up the reins again, it had all changed. Competence based interviewing had become the norm and the candidate expected an entirely different assessment process.

Always open minded about how to do things better, I embraced the concept, and learned all about the intricacy of competence standards, levels of competence, assessments, test and psychometrics.  Pretty complex stuff, and as things have evolved it can be pretty lengthy too.  One set of assessments I was involved in (I didn’t design it, I hasten to add) lasted three days.

Still, if it meant getting the right candidate, then time well spent.  Competency based assessment was fairer, the new thinking exclaimed, because it concentrated on the skillset, mind-set and knowledge.  Competency based interviewing would get the right people in the right job.   Right?

The problem is though; I don’t actually think it did.  When I think back to the type of people I recruited under past behaviour questioning, I hired people who took the initiative, made sound decisions, taking all the information into account.  They dealt with difficult people with skill, and were team players.   Very few got through the net that didn’t live up to their promise.  Because when they were expertly questioned in detail about what they did in certain circumstances, it was difficult for them to make it up.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think skill and knowledge is important too. I just think that quite often we choose people simply on qualifications, skills and knowledge and the skill in determining their propensity to behave in certain ways has become a bit of a lost art.

What is really needed is a qualitative combination of both competence and past behaviour.  Then the odds of getting the right candidate, has greatly increased by recruiting people with the right skills and the right behaviours.

So when recruiting, employers must of course set up the right selection method to get the right skills, competences and knowledge.

If it were me though, interviewing a key candidate, I would make a point of knowing the answers to the following questions, and if answered in the right way, I would be pretty sure I had the right person for the job.

1. Why this job? 

Tests, purpose, alignment with your vision and values, and how much they have found out about the job, and why they think it fits them.

2. What is your most significant achievement at work?

Tests, effort, capacity for achievement, as well as an awareness of their ability to make a difference.  It demonstrates their expectations about their contribution, and their ability to deliver results.

3.  How did you contribute value to your team?

Demonstrates an understanding and awareness of being a team player and the way they, as individuals, play a part in making the team work.

4. Give me an example of a time when you recognised an improvement in the workplace was needed and what you did about it

Shows their ability to take the initiative, recognise problems and how they take responsibility to put them right – they are part of the solution

5. Give me an example of the most difficult person you’ve encountered at work   and what you did

Demonstrates how they relate to others and their ability to handle difficult people

6. What has been your greatest learning curve at work?

Shows how they recognise and learn from situations or mistakes

7. Give me an example of when you have worked under pressure and what you did to manage the situation

Will show how they manage, if they take responsibility, are prepared to go the extra mile, and their attitude when the going gets tough.

There is a technique about how to give candidates the best opportunity to answer, such as allowing them time to remember, reframing questions and prompting them to explore their past.  Additionally, once they have got a specific example, its important to get them to talk about what they did, what they said and why.  This takes patience and great listening skills, as well as an ability to ask the same question in different ways.

 

If you are a leader, you are continually developing and "Sharpening the Saw".  If you lead and manage teams, then you must read about our Inspirational New Leadership Programme.  Sign up now to find out more details when we launch in July 2014.  There is no obligation to undertake the programme, if you sign up today, you will simply be sent more information about the programme.  You can unsubscribe at any time!  Click below to register for further information.