Leadership Development, Including Leadership Programs and Coaching

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10 Steps to Find Balance in the Pursuit of Excellence

By Christina Lattimer • October 17, 2013 - 1:55 pm Leadership Development

Finding balance while pursuing excellence

I met with some very dear friends earlier this week, we are friends and business colleagues and so much of the topic of conversation revolves around our respective business issues. We were recounting our progress with varying amounts of success. One of my projects is taking much longer than I thought, and I was happily talking about the qualitative changes I felt I must make before moving forward, when one of the group suggested that perhaps I should take the approach that “just good enough” might be the mind-set I needed right now. I immediately replied that I wasn’t prepared for “just good enough”, I wanted my product and services to be excellent. But as usual the exchange got me thinking. Was the pursuit of excellence on my part simply a delaying tactic?

As a master procrastinator I am usually more obvious in my efforts to avoid doing things I should, the tax return filed only 7 days before the deadline, the marketing product I have been working on for weeks but I always find something else more urgent to do. The friends I must call because I haven’t seen them for so long.

I have experienced first-hand, business owners who don’t move forward because they feel there is always more preparation to be done; when deadlines are missed because some other factor comes into play and they want to make sure everything is lined up before they move on. Such environments simply call time on innovation, motivation and enthusiasm, because nothing ever is achieved. My friend’s question made me think: Is this me?

Social media and globalisation has forced a pace on most businesses, not only to be active transparent and visible, but also to do things in an increasingly bigger, more connected and excellent way. The platform is equally open to large multi-nationals as well as the small sole trader. There is room for all, and the benchmark for excellence and the way we do business is changing rapidly. Will Yokowicz’s article “Get Ready for the Social Network of Things” gives a vivid picture of the mind-set shift which is taking place right now. Leadership Development programmes must help develop appropriate mind-sets moving forward.

There is no place to hide anymore; procrastination is not going to cut it, nor is anything other than a pursuit of excellence going to be tenable. How do we reconcile almost superhuman efforts with the fact that the vast majority of us are human? How do we drag our fallible, procrastinating, pressurised, vulnerable selves to balance work, relationships and conflicting demands, and still achieve visible excellence?

There are a number of ways we can negotiate the path of excellence without creating unnecessary stress, pessimism or doubt. Its vital leaders have a realistic strategy to both achieve the excellent results they need while on a daily basis recognising in what situations “just good enough” is acceptable. Here are my top 10 steps which help navigate the way through.

1. Be committed to achieving a clear vision

There are going to be days when achieving your vision seems like a million miles away. When this happens just keep the vision in mind and know that the universe is conspiring to help you achieve it.

2. Setbacks are simply learning curves

If you can develop the mind-set that setbacks are simply opportunities to make improvements then you will recover much more quickly. Not allowing despondency or doubt in, will accelerate growth.

3. Listen to your intuition

Sometimes a lack of progress or huge resistance is a big sign that you are working on the wrong thing. If you continually feel uninspired, stressed and pressurised then you are definitely on the wrong track.

4. Create a great team

You really can’t do it on your own. You need help to achieve excellence whether through employees, partnerships, contractors, a support network, friends and family.

5. Look after yourself

You need to take time out to rest, connect with others and do other things. Health is one of the biggest pre-requisites for achievement of excellence, and could be one of your biggest stumbling blocks if ill health prevails.

6. Be clear about your priorities and values

If for example a family crisis comes along and you need to delay then don’t agonise over your decision.

7. Plot small milestones and celebrate success

It is easy to forget all the hard work and successes you have had along the way. Sometimes you can get so focused on what’s not achieved, you don’t realise how much you have achieved.

8. Forgive yourself

When you set out on the road to achieving excellence you put your head above the parapet. You are not always going to feel like following your own path. When you feel like rebelling, then forgive yourself and get away from it until as long as it takes to get back into the right mind-set.

9. Don’t cling to results

You are going to get the right results at the right time. Even if you believe they are poor, they are simply results, giving you a nudge and an indicator to say you need to look again. A journey to excellence is about progression and constant re-evaluation.

10. Get it into perspective

In his book “” Michael Singer helps the reader get their life in perspective by saying “You’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere”. That’s not to minimise your efforts towards excellence, but realising that in this world everything ends eventually helps you to enjoy the journey much more than focusing on the destination.

Having thought through whether I should settle for “just good enough”, my resounding answer is still “No”, but I realise there are days and times when maybe I have to settle for “just good enough” rather than excellence as a temporary measure, and when I get to those times, I simply take my own advice!

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The Cornerstone of Authentic Leadership

By Christina Lattimer • October 10, 2013 - 3:29 pm Leadership Development

Authentic Leadership skills include learning from relationships.

Many years ago I worked with a client who was thinking of starting up her own business. She had many talents, and interests with lots to offer. Part of the process of finding out where she wanted to go, why and how she might do it was to explore her current employment which seemed to be causing her much angst, anger and frustration.

One of the biggest “thorns” in her workplace side was her boss. He seemed to evoke many negative emotions. She felt she was really good at what she did, but was often overlooked. She observed that her boss was quite formal and sometimes strained with her in comparison to other people who worked with him. Worse, she recounted a couple of occasions when others had got great work projects and raises, and she wasn’t even considered despite her obvious and impressive skill at what she did.

The relationship between one particular colleague and the boss made her completely see red. Her boss had a particularly great working relationship with the other lady, and even the little things like her boss saying “good morning” with gusto to this lady and sharing a laugh and anecdotes, made my client feel left out, isolated and unappreciated.

When I asked her to tell me what she thought of her boss she happily rattled away about his ability to be divisive, unfair, have favourites, unappreciative, and moody. I then asked her to put herself in her colleague’s shoes and to think about how she might describe him. The light, even at this early stage began to dawn, when she started using words like, friendly, likable, amusing, appreciative, and many more being the opposite of her own view. I then asked her if she had ever considered that her colleague might have a more successful relationship with their boss because she saw him in a more positive light. Setting a task for her to go into work and to simply view her boss through the eyes of her colleague and to see what happened; even I was unprepared for the magical change which she experienced between that coaching session and the next.

At the next session she was simply amazed at the difference she found with him when her attitude towards him changed, even though she didn’t actually say too much to him. She said he started off smiling at her, began stopping by to have a chat now and then, and even took her into his office to tell her what a remarkable job she was doing. The penny had dropped and she learned a valuable life lesson in that our relationships are often formed by our attitudes we hold towards others. Authentic leadership is born of such understanding.

Human relationships are one of the most fertile, challenging and rewarding arenas for growth and development of self-awareness, and they are the best training ground for authentic leadership. Being aware of and actively improving relationships both inside and external to the workplace is the cornerstone of great leadership development,. and authentic leadership. Not only must relationships be evaluated and given attention and effort, they must be appreciated for the learning opportunities which they hold.

The problem is we look at relationships through the wrong lens mostly. We use relationships to gauge our own or others self-worth, or we use them as if there is a hierarchy of good and bad people (I can hear the outcry now), we use them to suffer rather than celebrate. In the workplace, the extent of our discussions about relationships is limited to those about . These simply ignore one of the fundamental musts for authentic leadership, personal relationships, and I don’t mean romantic ones! If only we could just grasp the fact that relationships are learning opportunities which increase the opportunity for authentic leadership, then we would create a much better world and lay the way for much more effective and caring authentic leadership.

For me, some of the authentic leadership lessons, human relationships hold are:

Learning that love comes from within, and is not lost even when another is not around – find the love within despite what is happening outside.
That we hate in others the capacity or capability of that trait in ourselves – Forgive others. and yourself if you manage to see the potential or even the behaviour in you.
People feel what you are thinking about them, even if they aren’t consciously aware and so honesty is vital – Examine your thought behaviours and patterns as if they were transparent.
We often project our own script onto others – True listening and open-mindedness is essential to hearing others and understanding who they are.
Fear makes us want to attack and we fear being attacked – heal the fear and learn to trust one’s own self first.
Everyone is equally as valuable – without exception. Yes some people do bad things and I am not minimising that, and some people do heroically brilliant things. At the heart of who we are we all have some good, some bad and the extent of the love or fear we allow in our lives dictates our behaviour.
Perceptions are not fixed, in any given situation they can change. How we perceive others cannot ever be wholly accurate and therefore not to be trusted as an absolute authority.
Withholding judgment of others doesn’t mean not getting out of harm’s way.
We are interdependent, no “man” is an island
Love is the force which we always uncover if we are open to it.

In the workplace, while relationships may not be so intensely reflected as in the above examples, the principals still hold true. Authentic leadership, can flourish when it is know:

All roles in the workplace are important and everyone is valuable for the part they play. On a human level everyone is equally as valuable.
People of different abilities and skills will come and go in the workplace equal to the growth of the organisation. Appreciating that there should be healthy relationships for past, present and future employees are essential.
The quality of the way teams and individuals view and speak about each other in the workplace needs work and attention. Relationship building should be pivotal in growing and succeeding in the business.
People will live up to the leaders expectations of them. When operating from authentic leadership, the best is expected.
Communication strategies have to be honest, authentic and two way.
People must be encouraged to learn about themselves and others with a view to widening understanding.

Relationships are one of the cornerstones of authentic leadership, badging these as “soft skills” simply isn’t tenable any longer. They are HARD, emotionally charged lessons to learn, but if we have the courage to get into that particular class, and truly learn those skills then the rewards will be huge.

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5 Characteristics of an Open-Minded Leader

By Christina Lattimer • October 3, 2013 - 1:57 pm Leadership Development

An open-minded leader can appear anywhere.

I remember when I was still in my teens listening to a most fascinating work colleague, who professed to understand how hypnotists managed to tap into someone’s subconscious and get it to take control. In the next breath he would describe his insights gained in different cultures which he had acquired in his Navy days. His range of conversation was diverse, lively and knowledgeable. I remember feeling quite boring and uninteresting comparing myself with him, (which was a pre-occupation of mine as a teen). His role wasn’t officially as a leader, but he was well respected and one of those people who you know is influential in the team, he would have certainly qualified as an open-minded leader.

He had that charismatic quality, I always admire, which in those days I called open-mindedness. Open-mindedness for me was cool in those days, and still is. I think the quality of an open-minded leader is an underrated and misunderstood characteristic. What this quality means for me is:

A thirst for learning

Of course there are many types of learning: Taking in information through reading, observing, or my favourite which is experiential learning. I remember reading somewhere that the most honest sentence we can utter is “I don’t know”. I have come to realise that true wisdom stems from exactly that, an open-minded leader has that wisdom. It is when we are at our most convinced that we have something new to learn. Also an open-minded leader understands that the learning journey never stops. All we can be certain of is what we have learned so far. There is a practical aspect to this too. Our minds are a little like our bodies in that what we put in, is what we get out usually. If we sit and watch soaps or low-grade TV for hours on ends, guess what our conversation and focus is about?

Curiosity

Just when did our natural curiosity about the world disappear? My grandson Charlie is just starting to ask “Why?” Like most children he is curious and wants to understand what surrounds him. But for the majority of us, our natural curiosity stops at a certain point. Why is that? Is it because our minds are made up for us by concrete explanations from our parents or teachers? I remember at 16 having some extremely rigid views about our social system. I mentioned my limited views to a friend one day and she explained to me how narrow my thinking was and bluntly showed me the error of my ways. I realised in that moment I had taken on board the thought system of my parents, who had come from a completely different experience and generation from me. How often do we do that? Open-mindedness means that instead of believing everything you are told, you find out yourself. Even when you draw conclusions, you are open to finding out more. Exploring and actively being open and curious is the key here.

An ability to see things easily from different perspectives

In the world of the open-minded leader there is only “what works” and “what doesn’t work”, rather than what is right or wrong. We live in a world of both entrenched and enlightened values at times. Part of being open-minded is being able to see another’s point of view and evaluating not whether it is right or wrong, but whether it works or not. There is also the phenomenon of paradox working here, so being able to realise two opposing truths can be real. Take Orwell’s statement for example. “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others” This statement can be viewed from a myriad of perspectives which if judgment is suspended can help the reader to see the situation from many different points of view. Political leaders are very good at this!

An acceptance and respect for others beliefs and choices

This can be a tough one. I remember talking to a professional who was coaching a young entrepreneur who wanted to get into the modelling world. An A grade student, with a great start-up business, and supportive parents; a glittering future was about to be thrown away by this young business woman who’s main desire in life was to enter the fickle and superficial world of modelling; or so my friend described. But the truth is we never know what is good for someone else, or what path is right for someone. I married very young and inevitably it ended in divorce. But was it inevitable? When my daughter decided to buy a house at age 19 with her first and only boyfriend, I was aghast. Luckily I was wise enough by then to understand that just because things went wrong for me, didn’t mean it would for her. All I said to her was, “Go and try it, but if it doesn’t work, then you can come home” She never has. We celebrated her wedding at the weekend after 9 years of being together. It is the same in the workplace. An open-minded leader will honour other people and the choices they make.

An awareness that their own and others beliefs and filters can be limiting

Our experience in this world is made up through a filter of our beliefs, ideas, thought patterns and emotions. Part of respecting the perspective of others shows a good understanding of this. There is a further element to this for open-minded people in that they realise; not only does everyone come from a different perspective, but it is likely that any perspective is limited. If you’ve ever had to give up a limited belief, without having another belief in place it can feel quite frightening. To be able to form new beliefs, you have to be able to use your imagination, and sometimes going from a limiting belief to a more expanded belief takes a leap of faith. At work this can be a problem whenever change happens, for example when a business is trying to reinvent or rebrand itself. An open-minded leader will understand that they have to instil that faith in their employees if the changes are going to be timely and effective.

Being an open-minded leader doesn’t mean being indecisive, which can sometimes be assumed when someone is accepting and curious of the world around them. In fact, it generally means an open-minded leader can be more decisive because they understand any decision is simply based on what they know in that moment, and therefore an open-minded leader cannot make a wrong decision. Just one that works, or doesn’t.

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The Emotional Key to a Better Leadership Style

By Christina Lattimer • September 25, 2013 - 1:40 pm Leadership Development

Leading with Emotional Intelligence and Owning Your Feelings

Yesterday I was picking a business colleague and friend up from our local train station. After battling the morning rush traffic which was an emotional feat in itself, I got to the station only to discover there were major building works. I managed to get into a space at the side of the station which had lots of car parking spaces but had big “no parking” signs because they belonged to a local hotel.

I had arranged to pick my friend up from the pick-up point at the front of the station, and I was already late. Therein lay my dilemma. I didn’t have his mobile number to hand, I couldn’t get to the front of the station, and if I had driven away I had no way of letting him know what was happening.

Acutely aware he would be wondering where on earth I had got to, I decided to jump quickly out of the car and wave to him to signal where I was. I got out of my car door, went onto the path, my friend spotted me after a couple of waves, and as I turned to go back to the car about 2 metres away there was a private car parking attendant writing out a ticket. “You have got to be kidding” I said. He smiled eerily and said “no, you’ve left the car unattended, you can see the signs”, as he proceeded to stick a ticket on my windscreen. Completely astonished, I watched helplessly as he proceeded to take photographs of the empty car no doubt to back up his ticket.

Years ago I would have reacted badly to the sense of injustice, anger and frustration of being so unfairly treated. At this stage in my life I simply managed to say with great disdain “I don’t know how you sleep at nights”. We then got into the car and left.

I managed to forget about the incident until last evening when I came upon the ticket in my handbag. The emotional annoyance and frustration came rushing back, and the sense of injustice made me look to see what right of appeal I had to the ticket. Awareness of my dislike of the parking attendant made me pause and think about why I disliked him. Of course it was my interpretation of the event which made me dislike him and the perceived hassle I felt I now had by pursuing an appeal. I knew I could interpret the events in a number of ways. He was only doing his job; he must need the money badly; I did not know what pressure he was under to “catch perpetrators”. Of course I had choices about how I would respond too. It might just be easier to pay up and to learn the lesson for next time.

One of the most annoying habits for others I have learned over the years of developing self-awareness is my understanding of the power and responsibility of owning my emotions, and the ability of others to do so also. My kids do not appreciate me rationalising their anger with others when I suggest they may look at the situation in a different way, a vital key to emotional intelligence. They want to blame others; after all it makes them feel better. And it does for many of us.

We do however always have the power to choose how we will react or respond to any situation. In an extreme example Victor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, recounting his experience in the concentration camp said

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Viktor’s story is amazing, he chose to see his guards and captors as imprisoned as he was himself, and honed his emotional intelligence to the degree that he incredulously could even see the good in some of them.

Even in one of the most gruesome events in history Viktor was aware of the knowledge that he could choose how to interpret his experience.

Understanding one’s power to choose one’s reaction to what is happening is one of the key’s to great leadership, as well as emotional intelligence. You only have to read about the hardships faced by Ghandi, Mandela and others like them to know that these great leaders possessed well developed emotional intelligence, which should be included in more leadership development programmes’.

At work too, being able to choose one’s response when you feel angry, scared, anxious or even gloriously happy is essential if you are going to navigate your way through and win hearts and minds. That’s not to say you never show your feelings, or become a sterile shadow of your real self; it means you choose when it is appropriate to act on with emotional intelligence about how you are feeling. In the sage words of Aristotle

“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy”

The reason it’s not wise to act on one’s feelings or emotional reaction, always, is because they are often inaccurate. As human’s we can misinterpret the simplest of things. An employee goes off sick after they’ve been asked to do something differently. You assume they are emotional and angry, when actually you find out they’ve been suffering from depression since their mother died. An employee raises a grievance and you feel threatened and angry with them because you think they are out to get you, until you discover that they have very difficult circumstances at home and no one has taken the time to understand them. Even when the evidence overwhelmingly justifies the way we feel, we can always still choose a response.

The trick is to use your emotions like a guidance system. They are simply giving you some information about what you are experiencing. Sometimes taking action on emotions is the right thing to do, and sometimes it’s not. As a leader, emotional awareness is a key to making win/win decisions, taking charge of difficult situations and tapping into your intuition. If you let your emotions take charge of you, then you can blindly forge into situations and create irreparable damage.

In my own journey, owning my emotions and not blaming others for how I feel is and was one of my toughest lessons. Honouring feelings, while choosing an appropriate response is the key to owning emotions. It is only with this knowledge that you can reclaim your personal power, both in life and as a leader.

I still don’t like the fact I got a parking ticket, but I know I can either choose to simply pay up and put it behind me, or I can appeal, using precious time and resources to justify my sense of unfairness. Either way it is a choice. Which one would you choose?

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3 Ways We Block Success

By Christina Lattimer • September 13, 2013 - 1:42 pm Leadership Development

Three Ways We Block Success

I’ve often wondered why people don’t as a rule live up to their potential:

People with fabulous skills who for many reasons don’t feel the need to use them. A great friend of mine has the interior designer skill of Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen. She tirelessly attacks her house like painting the Forth Bridge, where she just finishes designing and changing her final room, then starts again. Her imagination, flair and precision to detail and colour are amazing. She makes her living from a completely different profession, one which she contributes greatly, but is hard work and low paid. A few years ago I asked her why she didn’t take her outstanding design skills to the next level, get paid for it, and become a success. I realised there was a lot at stake when she gave me about 15 resounding reasons why not.

I wasn’t surprised, and I know enough never to judge another person’s destiny or life, but I’ve seen it again and again, when hidden talents are just that: hidden away and not acted upon.

When researching for my degree dissertation, one of the questions I asked about 100 people was: “If you had all the money you wanted and there were no obstacles, would you be doing what you do now?” I can’t remember the exact figures, but it was in the 80%+ bracket of those interviewed who said “no. They wouldn’t”. When I asked them what they would do instead, some had startling clear ideas, some had a bit of an idea and others didn’t know, what they were sure of though was it wasn’t what they did right now.

It’s not just about making use of our talent and skills, many of us (me included) procrastinate, and talk about the fact that “we should get more sleep” or “we should lose those extra pounds” or “we need to stop working so hard, spend time with the family, take that holiday we’ve always dreamed about. I imagine you can add to the list.

I’m listening to the audio version of “” (2009) a co-authored book by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. The three authors describe their unique perspectives of how our unconscious or our shadow affects us all. For those on a spiritual path, the book is a must, for those of you who aren’t there is still many great psychological principles which are useful to understand if you want to really be your true self.

In the book, Debbie Ford describes how our shadow dictates our behaviour at times and how we need to look within to harness and direct what can be an unconscious destructive power. The problem of course, is, if we are being driven by an unconscious force, then we don’t know about it and are in denial! Our shadow is made up of all the characteristics, feelings, memories and traits we want to bury away and forget. The problem is, when such episodes are repressed then, they don’t go away and resurface in a number of destructive ways.

I have done enough reflection and work on myself to have experienced the sweet release when you face up to a painful or shameful memory, and come to terms with it, and so recognise the healing power of looking at our shadow, although it doesn’t make it any easier, and there is always something to look at! It is very much a lifelong journey.

In the workplace, again and again, I’ve seen characters who had potential to be a success, who at the last minute would do something to jeopardise their progress. I saw people yearning for a different lifestyle, not extraordinary outrageous changes, just simple ones, but forever keeping it out of their reach. There are many ways we sabotage our success, but for me these are the 3 most prevalent.

1. Repressing painful memories, which make us fearful to move forward, or keep us locked in unsatisfying and dead-end relationships.

Not facing up to our inner pain seems like a good strategy. Who wants to feel pain? Of course we don’t. Allowing ourselves to work through pain heals and releases us from unnecessary suffering. The main reason we hold onto unnecessary pain, is that we have interpreted the pain we are feeling to mean something about us. “He left because I wasn’t good enough”, or,” he lost his job because he is just one of life’s losers” We bury the pain, because we cannot bear to face the incorrect interpretation we have arrived at.

2. Allowing fear to prevent us from taking our talents to where they can benefit and help others.

Many of us live in our comfort zone and facing fears is part of growing and living. When I asked my friend why she didn’t want to take her interior design skills and get paid for her obvious talent, one of the many reasons she stated, was: “Who would want someone of my age to design their houses?” (She was in her mid-40’s at the time). What this response and many others amount to, one of our many human foibles is that many of us just don’t feel good enough. The truth is of course, that we are all good enough, and we don’t have to be perfect.

3. Claiming inappropriate guilt when we have honored ourselves.

My friends got together many years ago, leaving their respective spouses. They had kids, and it was a terrible guilt-gut wrenching time for all involved. A couple of years ago, my friends realised that guilt was still dictating their lives, when their children were all stretching them to the limit and causing havoc. Although they didn’t realise it, they were not drawing appropriate boundaries and limits because they felt guilty. One of the ex-spouses had never married again, proclaiming that their life had been ruined. This spectre of blame and guilt over- shadowed the lives of the long married pair. When removing oneself from a poor relationship, it is a way of honoring oneself. That is not to say there should not be respect, kindness and consideration for the other partner who may not want the split; certainly if you want to move on from a relationship, you have to take responsibility. But how long should you wear that hair shirt? Of course, it benefits no-one and especially those children, who needed to understand that sometimes, life’s like that. Once they realised their guilt was governing their lives, they made some big changes, and months later, much happier children, and a much happier family life was achieved.

At work too, the collective shadow can come into play, keeping great potential cloaked in an unhappy comfort zone, creating conflict and affecting the success of the team. Organisations carry their own stories of guilt, repression of feelings and fear. That’s why story-telling and re-framing the past as well as stories about the vision for the future is so important for businesses.

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Need to Find Inspiration? – 5 ways to get in the Zone

By Christina Lattimer • May 30, 2013 - 12:12 pm Leadership Development

Need Inspiration ?

I work best when I’m inspired. What do I mean by inspired? For me, it is a feeling of “all’s well” with the world: A certainty that nothing is going to go wrong and what I am doing is meant to be. When I am inspired, time ceases to matter and I can be working with focus and complete attention for what seems like minutes and a few hours have passed. Idea’s flow and they are easy to implement. I don’t actually think about much, I am just being, and moving forward. Some people call it being in “flow”. I call it being in the Zone.

Some years ago, I found myself struggling to define “quality” beyond the routine service level agreements, when making improvements to our customer service offer. It was easy to set standards in terms of timing and behaviours for example, it was less easy to define when they were met; but the quality wasn’t good.

The easiest way I found I could communicate quality in this context was to describe what it wasn’t. So for example. If a product was returned, or customers had to ring up for information we could have given them beforehand. If we got feedback which indicated we weren’t meeting on unwritten expectations, for example, an attitude by an employee, or not giving the right information at the right time.

Inspiration is like that, difficult to define or put into words and often easier to describe when inspiration is lacking. So for example: I am definitely not in the Zone when:

I feel de-motivated
I am resistant to moving forward
Time is dragging or worse I feel bored
What I am doing seems like a chore
I feel tired and stressed
I am overwhelmed or discouraged.
I’m easily distracted

Like being happy, being inspired takes some practice. Mostly, you can’t simply choose to be and feel inspired at will, you have to create the conditions which lead to an inspired state. Everyone will have a different way of doing this, but if you don’t know how to create those conditions then it might be worth your while to find out what works for you.

Over the years, I have developed a way of getting into my Inspiration “Zone” and here are some activities which I hope can help you reach an inspired state.

Writing early in the morning immediately after waking is a powerful practice. It is a great way to capture those early morning inspirational ideas and thoughts which often hit, like no other time in the day. Do this before you do anything else, yes even before that morning cuppa, otherwise the “spell” is broken, and you will begin to worry about your day to day schedule, or whatever is on your mind at the time.
If you are feeling fairly negative and need to get into the Zone, then find a comfortable place and stop thinking. No;I didn’t say stop breathing! Although when I suggest this to some, you would think I had indicated such a drastic step. This is a great technique if you have to go into a meeting or an event and you want to be in an inspired state. Instead of thinking about it, just stop thinking. This might involve just observing any thoughts you might have, but not actively engaging with them. It’s a mini meditation which should only last for about 5 minutes or so. Practicing “not thinking” is like giving your tired bombarded mind a mini holiday. It also allows the inspired part of you to shine through. Like sun rays streaming through a cloudy sky.
Take some time out and spend it doing something you love. That might be spending time with family, reading, exercising, or just watching a good old movie. It’s always good to do this, but be warned, if you take your de-motivated or distracted self with you, then you will negate the benefits. You must completely and utterly allow yourself to give your full attention to the activity, and the good feelings which you connect with.
Listen to music. Whether it’s up-beat rousing music, slow, ballads, or indeed anything which appeals to you at the time. Listening to music clears away negativity and if given attention and focus, helps change your state positively.
A state which completely minimises inspiration is when you are cluttered or overwhelmed, whether with things to do, or physical disorder around you. To keep clear and allow the inspiration to flow, take a good inventory of your things to do list, and delete anything less than essential. You must be ruthless. Ruthlessness is also a must when you are getting rid of physical clutter either at home or at work. If you haven’t touched it in 6 months, then you need to ask yourself whether you are going to use it. All clutter and unnecessary tasks are doing to you is keeping you weighted down.

What are your top tips to become inspired?

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The 5 Deadly Temptations of Specialness Great Leaders Avoid

By Christina Lattimer • May 16, 2013 - 10:16 am Leadership Development

The desire for specialness is often unconscious

Being a great leader is paradoxical. Leaders have to be pretty special people to be great, although in order to be great they fundamentally understand that everyone is the same. We are either all special or all ordinary.In group work, I invariably ask people to give me an example of a great leader. This isn’t always easy. Quite often people quote some of the greats in history, like Lincoln, Churchill, or perhaps Ghandi, or even Luther King Jr. Sometimes they will tell about one of their parents or even a great friend. Not many are able to easily bring examples of great leaders at work.

I expect there are many reasons why there is a dearth of great leaders at work, but one common thread I believe helps leaders fall short of being great in the workplace is that of falling into the temptation of specialness.

Whenever I ask people what they like to see in their leaders, many will talk about values or behaviours. They want leaders to be open, transparent, and fair; or they want them to be decisive, innovative and successful. Easy you would think? But actually leaders don’t have to be monumentally poor to find themselves out of favour with their people. They just have to, on occasion; succumb to the temptation of specialness.

Specialness can come in many forms, and it’s always a way of saying; one person matters more than another; or one person deserves more than another. Well you might be thinking, isn’t that the case? Well if you are, then you are experiencing a dose of specialness.

Specialness is the mistaken belief that we are different, and there are hierarchies of importance in the world. In reality though, it is not true. We are all simply manifesting different experiences and believing and acting in different ways, with different outcomes.

But what about the lazy worker who comes in and doesn’t do anything, compared to the worker who works 24/7 and gets great results? You might ask. Well one may be acting in ways which are in the best interests of the organisation, and one might not be. But that doesn’t make one person more special than another. Not at their core and not as a person.

There may be a million reasons that person doesn’t pull their weight as much as the other. There may also be a million reasons why the worker who works 24/7 is doing so. The trick is of course not to treat people differently, but to respond to their behaviours differently. There is a subtle difference.

To illustrate here are 5 common ways leaders give in to the insidious habit of specialism, and in so doing they diminish the “greatness” they can be.

Favouritism

We all like people who are like ourselves, especially when we can clearly see our best attributes in others. There are also people we don’t like so much or who make us uncomfortable. More often than not, we are most uncomfortable when we can see things in other people which we do not like about ourselves. In both cases we are making judgements about other people and indeed ourselves. At work, we need to be aware of our prejudices no matter how mild they may seem. Leaders often fall into favouritism when they form attitudes about people based on how much they like them. They stop being kind, factual, open and transparent and their views can be biased and weighted towards people they like better.

Special favours

A friend of mine was talking about the CEO who had been in the job for a few months. I had listened to her commentary about him before. It had always been complimentary and enthusiastic. However on this occasion, her tone was one of disappointment. Their company was involved in delivering specific services, the levels of which depended on certain criteria. It had become widely known that the CEO had decided to open up a level of service to someone who didn’t qualify, simply because they were viewed as an important person with clout. In one small but incredibly public decision his reputation had become tainted.

Hidden Bonuses

Great leaders will always have a good solid recognition strategy in place. Some actions might be monetary and some may be non-financial rewards. What I have encountered many times are monetary based bonus systems which have no particular criteria and are conferred in secret.

A friend of mine told me gleefully about a hefty bonus she had received for navigating a particularly difficult downsizing strategy. She had however been told to keep it quiet. I asked her why, and she said that if it was known that she had been rewarded for making people redundant, employees would not be happy. Although there seemed to be some logic in this, to me it said a lot about the integrity of the leader, and also demonstrated a lack of understanding about how to manage an effective reward strategy.

Creating a Valued Role Hierarchy

I worked with a lady who used to work in a major high street store. She had happily worked there for many years. For her and some of her colleagues, the end came quite quickly as many of the team looked for and secured new jobs with different companies in response to a change in strategy by the company.

On the face of it, the change looked fairly sensible in that they decided to give bonuses to their sales people. Under the surface it was one of the most divisive and disruptive moves they had made. What happened was they created a hierarchy of importance, with a disproportionate reward to certain people. The sales support people were not adequately rewarded for their part in the process; and distrust and discontent set in. This dynamic can also be seen where “professional” and “support” employees are given a different status in an organisation.

Excluding people.

Again and again I have seen people be excluded by senior leaders because they are particularly challenging, or simply have different views or beliefs. It can be unnecessarily difficult if you have such a person on your team, but if they are good at their job and are performing well, then their views should be welcomed with open arms. The act of exclusion is more of a statement about the fear of the excluder. Exclusion can be about only inviting certain opinions; not inviting people to meetings; not giving credit for a job well done; blocking promotion; creating succession plans which exclude people with unnecessary criteria.

To counteract such temptations, leaders must develop their own self-awareness and listen to and invite feedback from others. The temptation of specialness challenges all of us, not just leaders, and can sometimes be difficult to recognise or pinpoint. The following values or behaviours can minimise the temptation and keep any great leader on the right track.

Be open and transparent with everyone
Be kind to all, even those who seem difficult
Tackle poor performance or conduct, not personalities
Focus on commonalities not differences
Accept instead of judge
Be comfortable feeling uncomfortable
Have a systematic and inclusive approach to reward and recognition
Develop Self awareness
Understanding your own biases

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Take Another Look : How Your Perception Is Changing Your World

By Christina Lattimer • May 9, 2013 - 10:26 am Leadership Development

I’ve wanted to write an article on perception for a long time, and for a while, until today, the words haven’t come.

Today I had a big personal breakthrough when I was able to see something I had long viewed in a certain way, differently. I feel differently and I know that my experience, has, and will change. The reason we need to understand the way our perception shapes our world is because if we want to experience something different, the change must come from within.

Some time ago a friend of mine, in mid-life, lost her job. She didn’t even see it coming. One day she walked into her workplace and was told, along with the rest of the workforce, that she no longer had a job. After a few weeks she decided to set up a business on her own. After only 18 months she gave up and went to work for a local business in a role which didn’t really reflect her expertise or indeed her valuable experience. A year into the job she came to me for some help.

Describing how she felt, she said she had “lost her mojo”. After some unravelling we got back to the day she lost her job. On the day of the “bombshell”, she took herself off for a walk, numb and stunned, her thoughts went along the lines of “Why me?” “What has gone wrong?” “How am I going to manage?”

Knowing how her family relied on her salary she felt like a failure and even up to the day we discussed the situation, she wondered why this catastrophic change in her life had happened.

She had attempted to pick herself up, starting the new business and then latterly with the new job, but she had lost something valuable inside and her and faith had been severely shattered.

During the conversation, I suggested that some people after the initial shock may have thought “Yippee” I can now explore something else, I can use my unique talents I have to do something great with my life”. She looked at me as if I had gone mad, and I could see she thought I was probably out of touch with reality.

But that is the real problem. We think the reality we see and how we interpret it, must be right. But in any given situation, we can look again and interpret it in a different way.

I realised many years ago that the world I was seeing was a reflection of my perceptions. When I was a young single mother I felt unsupported and alone. I had lots of friends and family, but I always perceived them to have busy lives and asking them for help was a big deal for me, so I rarely did it.

Unwittingly, I was fulfilling my perception of: “I am pretty much on my own, and if I need anything, I had better do it myself, because others are too busy to help”. After many months of feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and alone; a back problem forced me to ask for help.

At first it was difficult and uncomfortable; I felt I was imposing my own problems on others. But after a while, something magic happened. I began to see that people around me, cared about me, and wanted to help.

When I asked people for support they overdid the support they gave me. I saw that when people were helping me, they felt connected and were happier helping me than watching me struggle alone.

I finally realised with a great big light bulb moment, that my outworn perception had unwittingly kept others at a distance and not only was my perception wrong, but my need to be right kept my perception in place even when I desperately needed to see things in another way.

When my friend and I started talking about the choices we have and how we can see things in a different way, she realised losing the job was not a personal indictment on her. She eventually also saw she had been holding on to a faulty perception of the job loss and this faulty perception was affecting her life every day.

She decided to look at the situation differently and came to the conclusion it had nothing to do with her, it was simply a change in her life, albeit an unexpected one. I recently received an email from her. She told me that she was becoming quite an expert at switching her perceptions and most importantly, she had her mojo back!

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The Crucial Practice Which Helps Leaders Become Successful

By Christina Lattimer • April 4, 2013 - 10:51 am Leadership Development

The Crucial Practice for Leaders

There is no one formula to being a successful leader. Many would argue that great leadership is situational, and what are seen as great leadership traits for one situation, may not be so great for another. This is very true for example, where you may have an immature team which isn’t quite yet developed, a leader may in the initial stages need to be much more directional than they perhaps would otherwise be. The Hersey-Blanchard Situational Leadership Theory is quite clear on the stages involved in leading teams with different maturity levels.

Often leadership is classed as being significant, when the leadership style is values based. The leader demonstrates to employees and customers, just who they are dealing with. While I think many would agree that openness, honesty, humility, inclusivity for example may be universal values; they are not always actually at the top of everyone’s list. So a commercially savvy entrepreneur who cuts corners and makes hard decisions easily, to get where they need to be, can be applauded by some and condemned by others.

The crucial practice all leaders can, and should be good at though, is self-awareness. It is one thing making a decision to axe the jobs of 100 people, and having an attitude of “well that’s just business”. It is miles away from the leader who agonises over the need to make such a decision, conscious and aware of the impact it is going to have on the livelihood of all of those people.

That’s not to say that a self-aware leader doesn’t make those decisions, but they do so with care, kindness and understanding, as well as firmly. They will have no doubt that such a decision is a last but necessary resort. They also support, listen and respect the fears, anxieties and issues of the people who are affected.

We all have our blind spots, I would challenge anyone who believes they haven’t. Although making the decision to lead a life of awareness can be a challenging one, it is also can be extremely revealing and rewarding.

In my experience, leaders who are willing to continually learn and develop their own self-awareness may not be perfect, or paragons of virtue. What they do though is different from leaders who don’t practice self awareness, in that they learn from their mistakes, and then do something differently next time. They take time out to evaluate how they are doing, and how they impact others. Most importantly they are able to observe themselves objectively in order to self-appraise.

In the process of leading a team or an organisation, they willingly:

Take feedback from their people and find out what is going wrong as well as what is going right.
Are prepared to learn from others and they admire qualities about other people who can teach them something.
Question their own mind sets, and are always open to learn how to be more authentically positive and to achieve great outcomes for themselves and others.
Understand their own power to affect the intentions, mind-sets and beliefs of others and they use that power wisely and with integrity.
Understand that leading a team is not a single-minded activity, but one where they must be open to understanding others, so as to get them on-board and engaged in what they are trying to achieve.
Work out exactly who they want to be working with them and for them. They have a good insight into themselves and how they tick and therefore have the same understanding of others
Commit to continuous development of their business and people. They understand that life is a learning experience, and it’s not just about skills and knowledge, but also about self- understanding. Not just for themselves, but for others too.

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The Golden Triangle Of Open-Mindedness

By Christina Lattimer • January 11, 2013 - 10:59 am Leadership Development

I don’t think any of us can practice total open-mindedness because we continually have to make decisions and in order to make decisions we usually have to come to some sort of conclusion even if that means not making a decision at all.

Practicing open-mindedness, isn’t universal a characteristic we are born with. To be effective leaders and managers we often have to develop the crucial habits of self-reflection, observation, challenging beliefs and perceptions. For many of us, until something in life looms up to challenge us, then we simply don’t make the effort, or we just don’t realise, we should be questioning our daily paradigm.

Some of the pitfalls of not practicing open-mindedness are:

Having a Groundhog day experience
Seeing other people grow away from you
Staying in a miserable situation/state/relationship
Giving up on dreams
Feeling like a victim
Limiting other people
Stereo-typing situations or people
Coming to faulty conclusions

Within my coaching practice, I regularly see clients or people they work with, struggle to overcome fixed beliefs, values, judgments or even wishful thinking that get in the way of changing, or moving forward, in a situation.

The most common reasons they struggle is that it sometimes feels painful to have to a) acknowledge there is another way to look at things, and they might have gotten it wrong, b) they have a need to be right, or c) they have to track back to painful situations in their past which formed their limiting beliefs.

Byron Katie has a brilliant method which demonstrates how we can turn around beliefs and ways of thinking to find relief from uncomfortable or painful emotions. You can find out more about Byron Katie’s work in her series of books which started with.

For me, there is a simple formula which can help the process of practicing open-mindedness, and I call this “The golden triangle”. In essence, this involves looking at tricky situations in 3 ways. From your own perspective, the perspective of the other(s), and then as an observer

The role of the observer is essential in this process because it is in the observer’s role when it is possible to remain neutral, detached and to see the bigger picture.
The possibilities are endless. When you come to make decisions, using the perspective of an observer you come to realise:

For every argument “for”, there is a counterargument
Beliefs, thoughts, perceptions and ideas are fluid and flexible
Values can change depending on different situations
Stories and myths are helpful to unraveling paradigms or thought patterns

We all need to form paradigms, beliefs and ways of thinking and making decisions which work for us, we couldn’t get through our daily lives without such a structure. But if that structure isn’t working for you, then it’s time to visit the Golden Triangle and practice your muscle of open-mindedness.

Category Archives: Leadership Development